All I Ask
by thebronzeEF
Summary: Buffy and Spike are reunited post NFA. They haven't seen each other since the Hellmouth. Buffy has only just learnt of Spike's existence again. Can they move on and start again with their pasts still lurking around the corner? (Ignoring some things in the comics) Rated M just in case. Lots of Spuffy fluff and feels!
1. Farewells

"Well I wasn't gonna stay in LA forever Peaches!". Angel glared at Spike who had a huge smirk spread across his face.

"Especially not when I have to stare at your bloody brooding face 24/7!".

Spike was almost in stitches now as he could see how much he was winding up his grand sire. Angel had been pissed ever since Buffy had disowned him for not telling her about Spike's 'coming back from the dead episode'. Now that Spike was on his way to London to see Buffy, Angel couldn't even look him in the eye.

Illyria caught the eye of Spike who did her best to act uninterested and unsympathetic but there was no fooling Spike. Ever since Wesley's death, she had gone everywhere with Spike and really relied on him even though she refused to admit it. Spike knew it would be difficult for her for the next few weeks without him. As Spike approached her, hands in his pockets, she crossed her arms and looked around the airport but she couldn't escape the vampire's piercing gaze.

"Well blue, looks like this it for now", he sighed.

Illyria's eyes flickered to Spike's and then started dancing around the ceiling again. Her grip around her arms tightened as Spike moved closer. She had no choice but to look at him now. Her natural reaction would be to fend him off but as he reached to brush a strand of bright blue hair from her face, she felt a rush of excitement race through her. Illyria stepped back, confused at this emotion but soon let the excitement flow take over her thoughts.

"I'll see ya' again soon!", he reassured her. He planted a gentle kiss on her cheek before turning to Gunn. Gunn was probably the chirpiest in the group. The pair stood there for a moment before Spike said,

"Well, guess I'm goin' now so feel free to take the apartment. I'm not stupid. I've seen you eyein' it up for ages". A stupid grin appeared on Gunn's face.

"Oh right my man!", he yelled and leaned in to hug Spike. Suddenly, both men stepped back and held their hands up.

"Wow!", they both said in sync as they stared at each other awkwardly. This silence carried on for a few seconds before Angel interrupted

"Well Spike, lovely havin ya', thanks for popping in, see ya' round", he rushed as he pushed Spike towards the terminals. Spike raised an eyebrow as he knew Angel couldn't WAIT to be rid of him.

"Alright boss, I'm going!", he chuckled and shrugged off Angel's hand. He turned around to look at the crew one last time before disappearing into the bustling crowd of the airport, nothing but a holdall slung over his shoulder.

Suddenly a commencement speaker started talking. "_Attention. The 22:34 flight to..London Heathrow is now boarding at gate 12. Please do not leave personal belongings unattended_". Spike smiled. Well Buffy, here I come...

TBC..

Welcome old readers and knew! Please review this chapter and tell me what you think! Are you looking forward to the next chapter?


	2. London

It was almost sunrise and Spike could see the bustling city of London beneath him. Memories came flooding back to him. Both good and bad. He thought of Dru and wondered where she was now. What she was doing. No matter what people thought, he still cared about her. She was a big part of his life for 100 years. This was the first time he'd been to London since he left with Dru, Angel and Darla a few years after he was sired. He'd never wanted to come back before. Too many bad memories. Cecily, his mother but it had been almost 140 years and he was ready to return. Especially since Buffy was here. She made it worth it a million times over. He knew he had to wait all day in the airport until dusk before he could leave to where Dawn had instructed him to meet them but he didn't mind.

About 2 hours later, Spike was slumped horizontally over 2 waiting room chairs, his holdall as a pillow. He had been on his own for well over an hour so pulled a packet of cigarettes from his leather duster pocket. He slipped one between his lips and flicked the lighter. Bright orange sparks appeared as it lit. Spike took a large puff and breathed out, blowing smoke rings everywhere. "Wow this was going to be a long day", he thought to himself. Spike dropped his head back and closed his eyes, the cigarette still between his fingers.  
Suddenly, the door swung open and Spike's head jolted upwards in shock. He quickly dropped his ciggy and squished it with his foot. A large, well built man in a security outfit loomed over him.

"Sir, you're gonna have to come with us", the guard demanded.

Spike was surprised. No one knew he was in London apart from Buffy, Dawn, Angel, Illyria and Gunn and they weren't going to tell anyone. Before he had chance to reply, another guard walked in, this one a little shorter and narrower than the other but was still stronger than he was. The pair each grabbed one of Spike's arms, the smaller one picking up his holdall with his free hand and they dragged him out of the waiting room and into an office. They pushed him onto the floor and left, locking the door behind them. Spike immediately jumped up and started to bang on the door.

"Oi! You can't leave me locked up here! Let me outta here ya wankers!", he screamed. He carried on slamming his palms against the steel door for about 10 seconds when a voice interrupted him.

"Spike cut it out seriously!". Spike spun around, following the voice and a figure emerged from the shadows on the other side of the room. Spike took a few seconds to take in who he was seeing.

"What are you doing here? And what's with the 'lock Spike up in a room gig'?", he questioned.

"There was a change of plan and I needed to find you", the mysterious person explained.

"A bit dramatic don't ya think Niblet?", Spike joked.

Dawn looked at him and her neutral expression turned into a huge grin. She ran across to Spike and threw her arms around his neck. Spike responded to her hug and laughed as he picked her up and spun her around a couple of times. He placed her down again and she slapped him on the shoulder playfully.

"Spike you absolute idiot! I can't believe you didn't tell us sooner!

Buffy struggled so much after your death? I'd never seen her like it. Do you wonder why she was so pissed off with you and Angel?", she chuckled.

"Yeh I know..but..but I didn't know what I'd say to her. Hey slayer, I'm back from the ashes after that poncy necklace resurrected me? Yeh right, would've sounded like total bollocks!", he muttered.

A thoughtful expression had appeared on Dawn's face.

"But either way...you could've at least told her. The way she was feeling, she wouldn't have cared about an explanation. Maybe not right away. She just needed you there. So forgive her if she's not all hugs and apologies when you see her", Dawn warned.

"Speaking of the slayer, where is she? Is she here with you?", Spike asked hopefully.

"No, I'm here on my own. She's had to travel elsewhere in London so she sent me to take you to the hotel we're meeting at later. There's a car parked in the shade just outside so don't worry you won't become toast on my watch!", she laughed. Spike stretched to a smile and also laughed.

Dawn walked over to the door and knocked twice. The clicking and clanking of the locks started and the hinges creaked as the door was opened.

"Look at you all secret agentish lil' bit", Spike teased.

"You better do as I say then".

She raised an eyebrow and tried not to giggle. She waved her hand, hinting for Spike to follow. Spike put his hands in his pockets and obediently walked up to Dawn. He opened a loop in his arm and looked at Dawn. She smiled again and linked her arm through his...


	3. Like Old Times

Spike and Dawn, their arms still linked, left the entrance of the airport to find a car waiting for them in the shade.

"Nice set of wheels bit!", Spike remarked, impressed. Dawn blushed.

"It has some of that 'vampire proof' glass specially installed so it's one of a kind. It's a little present from Andrew for my 17th. He's been working in Italy recently an -", Dawn was interrupted by Spike before she could finish.

"Yeh yeh, me and Angel bumped into the nerd in Rome recently", he muttered. Dawn stared at him.

"You mean Andrew knew about you being back?! And he didn't tell us?", Dawn shouted. Spike leaned his back against the wall and nodded as he lit a cigarette. Dawn lightly stamped her foot on the floor and crossed her arms.

"I can't imagine what Buffy's gonna do to him when she finds out", she tutted.

Dawn reached for the driver's seat door handle on the car but Spike was there in a flash.

"Sorry Dawn. I'm driving today", he commanded.

Dawn gawped at him and hit him on the arm.

"Excuse me? This is MY car!", Dawn squealed.

"Yeh, well I'm over 120 years older than you bit so I think I know a bit more about cars than you", Spike smirked.

He gave her a friendly shove out of the way and clambered into the car. Dawn pouted and reluctantly walked around the to the passenger seat. In moments the engine was roaring and the pair sped out of the car park.

* * *

"No! Down there!", Dawn yelled at the vampire.

Spike rolled his eyes. He'd been having some trouble following Dawn's directions to the hotel so they'd been on the road for a few hours longer than they should have been.

"You see! This why you should've let me drive dumbass!".

"Haha!", Spike mocked.

"Not bloody likely!".

Spike wound down the window and lit another cigarette. Dawn turned towards Spike and shook her head.

"That's about the 30th one you have had in 10 hours!", Dawn reprimanded him.

"Dawnie if we're gonna get to the hotel before the end of the week, then you're gonna need to let me concentrate!".

"If we're gonna get to the hotel before the end of the week, then you should let ME drive!". Spike finally gave in and pulled over. Dawn gave the air a mini punch as her persistence finally paid off.

* * *

Within half an hour of Dawn driving, they'd arrived at the hotel. Dawn walked over to the pavement and stumbled. Spike could see how tired she was.

"Why don't we get you off to bed niblet? You look shattered", Spike said concerned.

Dawn gave a yawn and got out her phone.

"No messages. Buffy mustn't be here yet. Busy as a beaver that sister of mine".

After seeing Dawn to the hotel room, Spike came outside for another cigarette. He travelled to the alley down the side of the building. He leaned against the brick wall and hung his head as he puffed out rings of white smoke that danced around in the breeze. Suddenly he could hear footsteps coming from the shadows. He threw his ciggy in the ground and prepared to take his fighting stance. Then the figure emerged from the darkness...

Even from a distance..he knew those sparkling blue eyes anywhere...


	4. Feelings

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: (Chapter 4 is a mini chapter that strays away from the main story a bit since I felt I needed to explore a situation that I started in the first chapter. Don't worry Spuffy will be reunited soon!)**

* * *

Spike was speechless.  
What? When...When did you get here?".

"3 hours 42 minutes and 36 seconds ago", the voice recalled.

Spike sighed and combed his fingers through his bleached hair in frustration.

"Bloody hell woman! Did you follow me?!".

The unknown lady continued to walk towards Spike but then walked past him.

"That is correct. I felt the strangest emotion after you left. I felt..something similar to when..to when Wesley died...".

"Illyria..you shouldn't have come. I know why you did and I came here for the exact same reason. To be wanted by a particular person". Illyria flicked her head back around to Spike, her unnaturally blue eyes burning a hole in him.

"Are you suggesting that I have a romantical interest in you half breed?", Illyria said defensively.

"Didn't you think I'd notice the way you followed me around after the apocalypse? You went everywhere with me. Did everything with me".

Illyria looked away awkwardly. Underneath her blue skin, he swear he saw her blush.

"Oh god. She wasn't denying it!", he thought to himself.

"Listen. I'm not angry or embarrassed or anything", he explained as he walked towards her.

"I just can't give you what you're looking for".

He comfortingly put his hand on her shoulder. There was a long pause and Illyria continued to avoid Spike's eyes.

"Alright, maybe I might've thought about it a few months ago. ONCE. When I thought I was never gonna see Buffy again but let's be honest blue. It wouldn't have ended well. I'm glad we didn't go there".

Illyria smiled the TINIEST smile.

"Well there's something I haven't seen before", he chuckled, hinting at her smile.

He brought a finger to the demon's chin and tilted her head up.

"Now, I'm gonna call Gunn, get him to pick ya up. I assume they know ya' here?".

Illyria gave him a sheepish look.

"You're joking me blue? They're probably worried sick".

"I took their beloved Fred from them. The last thing they are doing is worrying about me".

"Hey. That's not true. You've proved yourself to them these last few months. Believe it or not, I'd say they care about you".

Spike reached for his phone but Illyria grabbed his hand.

"No. I am going to stay. Explore this extra terrestrial planet", she mumbled. Spike raised his eyebrow.

"As strange as London is, it's on the same planet love".

He went to grab Illyria's hand but she ran off into the darkness.

"Blue!", he yelled.

"Illyria!"...

He'd tried to go after Illyria but she was gone in seconds. He couldn't leave Dawn alone even if she was capable of looking after herself. It was almost 1am. Buffy wasn't turning up tonight. He turned to leave the alley and go inside but again heard footsteps behind him. This didn't smell like Illyria. The sound was getting closer. He clenched his fists and swung a punch when he felt the presence directly behind him. The figure had a strong grip and grabbed his hand. Before he knew it, he was on the floor and the figure loomed above him and grabbed his collar.

"I'm sure you fought better last time..."


	5. Hit Me Kiss Me

Spike was frozen to the spot. He couldn't get up. God he'd been imagining this moment for months. Finally seeing her again and now he couldn't say anything. Do anything. He couldn't even move a muscle.

"Buffy..", he sighed.

"Buffy I ju -", he started but the slayer's other fist flew into his face.

The vampire's head flew back and hit the floor. He covered his newly cut lip with his hand and jumped up, glaring at the slayer.

"Look love, you have every right to be pissed at me but we've at least gotta talk this over!", Spike yelled.

"Pissed?", Buffy repeated in outrage.

"Pissed? I'm beyond pissed! I was going through HELL after the hellmouth! And then I suddenly find out that you're alive and have been living the high life in LA for months and you couldn't even find a minute to phone me up!".

Spike gave Buffy a guilty look and tried to escape her gaze. He knew it would be a long road before she trusted him again like she used to. All he had to do was pick up the bloody phone. Tears were starting to form in Buffy's eyes now.

"Jesus Spike". She paused and looked at him.

"This has got to be the shittest thing you've done..", she started.  
"I know I messed up lo -". Buffy put a finger to Spike's lips and continued.

"...so tell me why I'm not angry with you when I have every right to be?..".

Spike raised his head to stare at her but before he focused on her, she had his head locked in her grasp and her lips against his...

Memories flooded back as her taste flooded his mouth. He'd always known how much he loved her but recently it had slipped to the back of his mind, being away from her. His heart took over yet again and he held the slayer close. He ran his fingers up her back to her neck and gripped her tightly as he deepened the kiss. Her blonde locks brushed against his cold cheeks as they swayed in the cool, night time breeze. Buffy's arms trailed around to Spike's shoulders and the pair stumbled and fell against the wall, lost in each other. He ran kisses down her neck as time and consequences were completely oblivious to them. The former lovers gasped for air and leaned back into each other but suddenly Spike remembered...

"Dawn", he whispered.

His lips still gently brushing the slayer's. Buffy opened her eyes.

"Oh shit!".

She pulled away slightly from their embrace but not removing her hands from Spike's shoulders.

"I completely forgot she was even with you!".

Spike's seductive eyes captivated Buffy for a few more seconds before she was brought back to earth by a screeching of car breaks. She turned her head towards the road, still in Spike's arms but eventually managed to pull away. She started to walk down towards the hotel entrance when she noticed that Spike hadn't moved and was watching her closely from afar with a grin.

"What?, she asked as she noticed his behavior.

"Nothing. It's just...".

He paused and looked down at the ground as he let out a laugh.

"It's just I never thought I'd see you again". Buffy didn't smile this time. She disappeared around the corner, Spike slowly following...

* * *

Dawn was sound asleep on top of the bed when Buffy and Spike reached the room. The slayer approached her sister, grabbed a nearby blanket and draped it over her sister. She leaned down and tenderly kissed her messy hair.

"Night Dawnie", she whispered.

Buffy stood up and turned and walked out of the bedroom to Spike.

"Well. Looks like we've a lot of catching up to do Mr undead"...


	6. Reunited

**I know I said I was going to post one chapter a day but I really REALLY like this one and think there's multiple cute Spuffy moments here that you'll LOVE.**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: BEWARE major/minor Buffy season 8 spoiler. Whichever way you look at it.**

* * *

Buffy was sitting on the couch, leaning on her knees whilst Spike rested against the wall. There was an awkward silence between the pair. Buffy took a long breath.

"About earlier..", she began.

"Consider it forgotten slayer. It was the first time we'd seen each other in a while, we got carried away...", Spike stated awkwardly. Buffy smiled.

"Yeh..". Buffy fiddled with her ring.

"So, lets start from the beginning". Spike looked up.

"How did you end up in the Wolfram and Hart offices in LA from a pile of ashes?", she quizzed, not realizing how insensitive she sounded until afterwards.

"The necklace. The one you got from Captain Forehead?". Buffy nodded.

"Well he somehow how came across it and..".

"Uh huh?".

"I was 'reincarnated' from it if you could call it that". Buffy looked confused.

"Yeh yeh I know how it sounds. Anyway cutting a long story short, we think the lawyers were behind it all".

"Why?".

"No clue love. All I know is that..I'm bloody grateful to whoever was behind it".

"You have no idea", Buffy mumbled louder than she meant to.

"Huh?", Spike tilted his head.

"Nothing".

"Buffy?". Spike smiled at her.

"We've only been here for a few hours and you're already putting up barriers".

She tightened her grip around her wrist as Spike walked along the creepy floorboards of the room towards her. He crouched down in front of her, resting his arms on his knees. Buffy shuffled around uncomfortably, not liking the lack of distance between them.

"I don't mean to", she whimpered.

"I just don't want to let you in again and then watch you leave". Spike sighed.

"The day I leave you again is the day Dawn and Xander get together!", Spike joked.

Buffy tucked her hair behind her ear awkwardly.

"Well yeah..about that..",she began.

Spike's look of amusement slowly turned to horror as he realized what Buffy was saying dawned on him..

"Ho-ly shit!", Spike spoke, an octave higher.

"Didn't see that coming..".

There was yet another awkward pause.

"Anyway what I'm trying to say is that I'm staying. That is if you still want me here. I understand if you don't love, I've been a complete prick not callin' ya sooner and there's no way in hell that you're gonna trust me anyt -".

"Spike! Just shut up!", Buffy interrupted.

"There's no way I'm sending you away. I've only just found you again. I need you around", she spoke in her soft honey voice that made him melt.

They were getting too close for Buffy's liking now so she pulled away, shuffling around Spike's crouching position and made her way to a silver tray. Spike collapsed onto the couch and reached for his holdall.

"Drink?", Buffy asked, waving a bottle of scotch.

"Thought you'd never ask pet"...

* * *

"Psst. Psst".

Buffy opened a bleary eye and saw Dawn hovering over her.

"Buffy, wake up!", she whispered.

The slayer yawned and turned her head to the right slightly.

"Damn hangover", Buffy grumbled.

She clutched her head and sat up to find Spike leant back against the couch next to her, his head titled slightly. Buffy's eyes widened in horror and she turned to look at Dawn.

"Oh god..did we.."

"Don't think so", Dawn smirked awkwardly.

"You'd just fallen asleep on him".

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. She stood up and reached for the painkillers in her handbag. There were only a few left.

"Don't take all of those!", Dawn quietly called to her.

"If I know Spike, he's probably gonna need more of those than you". Buffy ignored her sister and downed 3 of the 5 left...

* * *

Spike awoke with a groan about an hour later.

"Ah bollocks", he muttered, leaning forward and clutching his head.

Dawn was sat at the table eating pancakes, whilst Buffy had her head on the table, doing her best to shield out the light.

"There's a few painkillers left on the table but ya might need more", Dawn mumbled to Spike with a mouthful of pancakes.

"Bit...if you haven't noticed it's the middle of the day?"

"Oh..right". Spike looked over to Buffy, her head still resting face down on the table.

"You alright love?", he called to her.

"Keep..your voice down", she muffled.

"And does it look like I'm alright? I'd been perfectly sober for months before you showed up".

Spike tried to hold in a laugh.

"Glad I showed up when I did then. You need a good drink every now and then".

Buffy slowly turned her head round, squinting as she opened her eyes. She glared at the vampire but soon dropped her head again as the light became too much and moaned again.

"Woah. You're looking pretty rough!".

Spike turned to Dawn.

"Dawnie, why don't you nip out and grab Medusa some more painkillers".

Dawn squeezed her lips together, trying not to smirk as she grabbed her jacket.

"Even hungover I can still take you vampire so you better shut up", Buffy grumbled.

"Are you sure about that slayer? I've had 100+ years of dealing with hangovers".

After hearing the door shut, Spike walked over to her and pulled her up.

"C'mon love. Sitting in a room with the blinds open, isn't gonna help. Time to sleep it off".

Buffy let out a moan as they stepped into the light.

Buffy reached the bedroom with Spike. She slumped onto the double bed and slowly crawled under the soft, crisp covers. Spike knelt down by the bed and rested his chin on the mattress, his forehead almost touching Buffy's.

"I'll make sure, there's plenty of water and painkillers ready and waiting for ya", he smiled.

Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"Gee Spike, you sure know how to treat a girl", Buffy chuckled.

"It's nice to see you smile", Spike whispered. The pair stared at each other until Buffy couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. Spike tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and left her in peace...


	7. Past

When Buffy awoke, she felt 10 times better than she did earlier. She dragged her tangled hair out of her face to look at the clock. It was 7:30pm. She'd slept through the entire day! The slayer tried to smooth down her crumpled clothing without success as she moved towards the door. She carefully opened the door and peaked round.

"Spike? Dawn?", she called but there was no reply.

She relaxed and slumped onto the couch but heard the creasing of paper from beneath her. She reached under to find a note. It definitely wasn't Dawn's handwriting. It wasn't like Spike to tell her where he was going. She tried to make sense of the scrawly writing.

"Painkillers on the table just in case. Taken bit out since there's nothing much in to eat. Take it easy. Be back soon".

Did Spike bring a new personality back from the grave too?

A few minutes later, the noise of the key in the lock could be heard and Dawn entered with massive bags under her eyes. Spike was following close behind, a cigarette between his lips. The young summers girl, collapsed in a heap on Buffy's lap and the slayer began to stroke her sister's hair.

"What's up Dawnie?", she asked, sort of knowing the answer already.

"Ugh, just tired", Dawn grumbled.

The girl found the energy to heave herself up and travel to the bedroom but turned around at the door

"That's the problem with a crappy one bedroom hotel room, 2 of you have to share the sofa", Dawn hinted and winked at her sister with a wide grin.

Buffy widened her eyes and gawped at her trouble making sister as Dawn closed the door. Buffy felt Spike's eyes on her and turned her head towards him, only to give an awkward stare.

"Don't sweat it pet. I'm off out again", Spike broke the silence.

"Where?"

"Oh I dunno. A couple of bars. I think Sunnydale was the only place that held Kitten Poker matches".

Buffy quietly laughed.

"Unless..you wanna come?", Spike nervously asked. Buffy slowly stood up.

"I think Dawn's able to look after herself for a few hours", she explained .

Spike's eyes lit up and he tried to contain his smile.

"As long as you don't make me go anywhere NEAR the drink. I don't think I could take the after effects again", she demanded.

"No problem love".

Spike reopened the door to the hallway and held it open for Buffy. Their eyes locked onto each other for the 20th time that day but something was different this time. This time the pair felt a spark of the trust they once had back in Sunnydale during The First's threat of apocalypse . They only prayed that a fire would start from the spark...

* * *

The pair walked down the bustling street, shoulders almost touching, blinded by the glaring street lights of London.

"So what did you really have planned before you invited me along?", Buffy spoke suddenly.

Spike tried to give her a puzzled look.

"I told you. Drinking, some grub..".

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"You're a shit liar Spike".

She gave him a shove. He went limp and stumbled whilst laughing.

"Never could lie to you love". Buffy smiled meekly.

"So? What were you going to do then?", she insisted.

"Well, I was actually planning to travel East and...".

Buffy nudged the nervous vampire.

"Oh come on. When have you ever been afraid to speak your mind?", the slayer teased. There was a pause.

"Well considering I haven't been to London since I was sired, I thought I'd ..you know, visit some old places". Buffy was intrigued now.

"Like where exactly?", Buffy dug.

"Does it matter?", Spike said, subtly warning the slayer off. Buffy shook her head.

"Nope..". Buffy turned her head away from him.

About 30 seconds passed in complete silence as Buffy and Spike continued to walk down the road.

"C'mon don't make me guess anymore!", she suddenly yelled. Spike sighed.

"Christ slayer, you're not gonna let this go are you?". Buffy gave him a sarcastic smile.

"Nope!".

Before they knew it, they'd stopped outside a night club and Spike leant against the wall, preparing himself for Buffy's reaction. He was looking directly into the slayer's eyes now.

"I was thinking of visiting my old house..where my mum's buried. Or was buried last time I checked".

To his surprise, Buffy didn't laugh at or make fun of him. She just gave him a tender smile.

"Ok..do you want to be on your own 'cause I can always go ba -", Buffy started but Spike interrupted.

"No!". Spike panicked.

"I'd like you there..if that's ok?".

Buffy nodded and gently squeezed his hand. He looked down, not quite taking in what the slayer was doing and entwined his fingers with hers without thinking. But she didn't pull away.

Suddenly a yell from across the street brought the mesmerised pair back to earth and Buffy yanked her fingers away.

"We erm..we better get going if we're gonna get there before it gets too late", Buffy stuttered.

Spike frantically nodded his head, acting just as confused and regretful as Buffy was about the moment they shared. They carried on walking but were further apart now.

* * *

In about an hour, Buffy and Spike had reached a crumbling old manor, covered in moss and mould. The windows were cracked and the doors broken off of their hinges. Overgrown plants danced around in the wind as it blew in their faces as they reached the main door. Spike stepped over the broken door and helped Buffy as she stumbled over a lose nail in a floorboard. Buffy was too busy looking around to notice that Spike had walked over to a ripped couch. By the time she had noticed him, he was sat on the dusty velvet wreck, gently touching the fabric. Buffy slowly approached him and sat down to his left.

"I guess things were pretty bad after you were sired huh?", Buffy guessed. Spike nodded sadly.

"She was dying so I sired her". Buffy's eyes widened in shock.

"It all ended pretty badly so I had to stake her".

A lonesome, silent tear ran down his cheek. Without realising, Buffy found her hand reaching out to comfort Spike but not seeing it, he made a sudden movement and put his head in his hands.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this. I've never told anyone before and I don't know why I'm starting now", he mumbled. Buffy thought for a minute.

"Im no shrink but..maybe now you're back, everything's becoming too real and..you need someone to talk to?". Spike turned to face her, his head tilted.

"You've always had a way with words Buffy. I think that's why I tell you most things".

The pair were edging closer now and their words becoming more mumbled.

"Most things. How about we work on trying to get to everything?", she replied.

She felt hours of tension fade as she kissed him again. She ran her hand up the leather sleeve of his jacket and he brushed his across her cheek and into her hair. Within a matter of seconds, Spike was holding her in his arms, his every finger stroke sending shivers down her spine. God how she'd missed this. His soft touch, his loving hold. He pulled her closer but she moved her lips away.

"Not here. Not like the first time. I want to move on from all that", she whispered.

Spike looked around and realized what she meant about the whole abandoned house setting. He nodded, his hands still in her hair. He reluctantly pulled away and helped the slayer to her feet but he stopped her in her tracks and leant his forehead against hers. They closed their eyes, savoring the moment...


	8. Nowhere I'd Rather Be

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter has a few cliches. I'll try to keep them to a minimum :)**

* * *

By the time they'd reached the hotel, it was well past 2am and Dawn was sound asleep. Spike could tell how tired Buffy was and made her sit down on the couch. He sat down next to her, putting a muscly arm around her delicate frame. She looked at him with dark, heavy eyes.

"I want to be with you Spike but I'm worried about letting you in again". Spike gave her a sympathetic look, understanding what she meant.

"I know this a load of bollocks coming from me but let's be honest with each other for once. What's your biggest fear?", he asked. The slayer sighed.

"I'm worried that somehow, intentional or not, you'll end up leaving me again".

Spike stared at her with puppy dog eyes like the time he found her drinking alone at The Bronze and wanted to comfort she cruelly blanked him and then used him. She shuddered at the thought.

"And this time I won't be able to deal with it. I only just managed last time. Dawn'll tell you for sure", she continued.

Spike gently brought her head to his shoulder.

"Trust me Summers, there's no where else I'd rather be than with you".

Buffy closed her eyes and smiled. Within minutes, she had drifted off to a world where nothing bad could happen. Where no one could tear her and Spike apart.

* * *

Buffy was woken by a tickling sensation on her forehead. She squinted her eyes to discover she was now lying down with a blanket draped over her. She wriggled her fingers and felt what she thought was Spike's chest beneath them. She could guess that he was sitting upright from the positioning of his body and that one hand was gently stroking back hair from her face, strand by strand.

"It's rude to stare you know", Buffy spoke suddenly. Spike jumped slightly at the sound of her voice.

"And it's nice to let people know you're awake instead of scaring them half to death", he replied, giggling in shock slightly.

Buffy pulled away from his hold and turned on to her front to lean over him.

"Well you're already dead so..I suppose it doesn't really count for you does it?", Buffy murmured seductively and leaned into kiss him.

Suddenly, Buffy heard footsteps behind the bedroom door. She quickly glanced at Spike who had heard them too. Dawn was awake. Buffy leaped off of the couch and ran to the mini fridge in the kitchen, if you could call it a kitchen. Dawn opened the door, rubbing her eyes.

"Morning", she yawned.

Buffy grinned as she frantically tried to ransack the fridge for food.

"You must be hungry?", Buffy said turning her head towards Dawn.

"You have no idea!", she replied.

"Well tough 'cause we have nothing in". Dawn stared at Buffy.

"Dawnie it's not the end of the world! We can go out". Dawn tried to look relieved but Buffy wasn't convinced that everything was fine.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit edgy..". Dawn fiddled with her bracelet.

"Da-wn?". Buffy raised an eyebrow at her sister and folded her arms. Dawn rolled her eyes.

"I got a call from Xander last night in Greece and he really needs me to go over there. Please can I go?", Dawn begged.

"Why does he need you over there?"

"Erm..slayer stuff?"

"C'mon Dawn I'm not stupid. I could see how 'get a roomie' you were with each other a few weeks ago". Dawn widened her eyes.

"Shut up! Spike's here!", she mouthed and pointed to the vampire with her eyes.

"Don't worry, he knows". Dawn was incensed.

"Well thanks for publishing news about my personal life sis when I'm not even sure what's happening yet!"

"Well actually..he guessed", Buffy explained. Spike interrupted.

"It was technically more like a sarcastic comment". Buffy couldn't help but laugh as she saw how wound up her sister was becoming.

"Ugh whatever but can I go?" Buffy thought about it for a second.

"If you're going for the reason I think you're going then I'm not gonna lecture you but I just want you to think about this. It's a big step".

"Buffy. I love him. This is the right time"

"You don't wanna wait until legal age at least?"

"Hah! You didn't?". Buffy looked embarrassed.

"I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I did Dawnie".

"Listen. I know what I'm doing. I'm not your baby sister anymore". Buffy walked over to Dawn and wrapped her arms around her.

"You'll always be my baby", she cooed.

Dawn reluctantly put her arms around her sister and eventually tapped her sister's back, hinting for her to withdraw. Buffy leaned away and captured Dawn's face in her hands.

"If you're sure, then you can go". Dawn smiled.

"Thanks Buffy. It means a lot that you're letting me do this". Buffy smiled meekly.

"You better get packing then".

As soon as Dawn had disappeared into the bedroom, Buffy collapsed onto the couch and curled up in Spike's arms. He wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close as a silent tear ran down her face. He brushed away the streak with his thumb and kept his hand against her cheek.

"It's just hard to accept that she's slipping away from me", Buffy whimpered in a sad voice.

"I know love. A lot of people I know wouldn't have been as understanding as you. Deep down Dawn appreciates the freedom you're giving her". Buffy looked up at Spike.

"For someone so violent and immature a few years ago, your words of wisdom aren't that bad". Spike smiled yet again.

He couldn't remember the last time he smiled so much.

"Well I've done a lot of growing up these past 6 years and I have one person to thank for that pet".

"Dru for dumping you?", Buffy asked, sarcastically. Spike gave the slayer a friendly nudge.

"You could look at it from that point of view but you were the person that changed me Buffy".

Buffy wriggled closer to Spike and tucked her head under his chin.

"Now don't go all mushy on me William".

She could feel his cool skin through his shirt. She'd forgotten how soothing it was, how at ease she felt when she was close to him. She nuzzled Spike's soft neck and he held her tighter. She shuddered so he pulled away.

"No", she whispered.

"Stay close to me". Spike tilted his head down to look deep into Buffy's eyes.

"I don't care who knows about us anymore. I'm sick of pretending to be someone I'm not, just to suit other people".

Spike couldn't believe his ears. For 4 years, he'd dreamed of hearing these words leave her lips and now that they had, he wasn't sure she meant them.

"You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that love but..".

He paused and Buffy stared at him, her worried face tearing his heart clean out of his chest.

"I just want to make sure that you won't be scared off by first wanker who disapproves. I know it's selfish but like you, I don't want to let you in again and then watch you leave".

Buffy immediately sat up and pulled Spike in for a kiss before he had time to let what he had just said sink in. This kiss seemed different to Spike. Buffy seemed more clingy, more passionate, more genuine than ever before. He felt a warm tear drip down his cheek but soon realized it wasn't his. It was Buffy's. They stayed in their embrace for a while after, holding each other like there was no tomorrow. By the time the pair had pulled apart, Buffy and Spike had swapped places. She was lying on the sofa, Spike's head still in her hands and he was delicately resting on top of her.

"I promise. I'm done with the lies. I'm done with the deception. I just can't lose you again", she whispered softly into Spike's ear.

* * *

12 hours later, Buffy and Spike were stood hand in hand watching Dawn walk away into the terminal. The young Summers girl wasn't surprised at her sister's reunion with Spike. She had realised a while ago that Buffy needed Spike even if she didn't want to admit it at the time. She'd seen Spike change over the years and was the only one who truly understood the struggles of being accepted.

"I want you two to work", she had said.

"I know that if you work at it, you'll make each other happy". Dawn turned to her elder sister.

"More than Angel did. Gee, could a guy brood more than him? Every time you guys had the smallest of falling outs, you'd both be acting li -". Buffy coughed.

"Okay Dawn. I don't think we need to hear this". Buffy forced a smile and Dawn bit her lip.

"Well, I'm just gonna be off now", Dawn had whispered.

That was it. Her sister had officially grown up and was leaving 'home' for the first time. Spike now had an arm around Buffy and lightly kissed her temple...

* * *

"How do you feel about the LA scene again love?", Spike asked Buffy.

They were now in Dawn's car, that she'd leant to them while she was away, and were on the way back from Heathrow airport. Buffy looked at the vampire, confused.

"Huh?", she murmured.

"Well it's the anniversary of ...". He paused, struggling to say the name.

"...Fred's death and I thought that I should really be there. I think Gunn and Peaches could do with the support too". Buffy raised an eyebrow.  
"Since when have you and Angel become support group pals?", she teased.

"Very funny love but seriously though. If I'm going for anyone, I'm going for myself. I didn't know Fred for very long but..".

He stopped and realized that the slayer was staring at him with that smile he absolutely adored on her face. It wasn't too forced or too fake but just right. Her lips were parted slightly and the corners of her mouth turned up.

"Ya know..", he continued.

It's only for a couple of days. We won't have to be around for long".

"Spike it's fine, really!", she smiled at him again.

"Gives me chance to take care of you for once instead of the other way around", she whispered.

Buffy reached out to touch his cheek when suddenly the car skidded to a halt. Buffy jolted forward, whacking her head on the dash and clutched her forehead but was slowly losing consciousness. Spike, dizzy from the impact, slowly lifted his head to look up. He tried to focus on the figure standing in front of the car, their hands pushed firmly on the bonnet. He could roughly make out their outline but the detail was still a blur. Suddenly, the figure's head whipped round to their left and Spike caught a familiar glimpse of blue hair...

"Oh bloody hell", he moaned..

Illyria...


	9. Change Of Scenery

Spike was momentarily distracted by the demon running into the shadows but soon caught site of the unconscious Buffy lying lifeless in the seat next to him. Still dazed, he scrambled to find the door handle next to him. He shook his head, hopelessly trying to get rid of his concussion, which only made everything more blurred. He smelt more and more blood from the other side of the car so quickly kicked open the door, realizing he didn't have any time to waste. With the bonnet of the car as a guide, he felt his way around to the passenger seat and found the handle. His vision had improved slightly so he managed to scoop the slayer up into his arms and carry her away from the damaged car. He laid her down on the stone cold pavement and checked for a pulse. The thudding in her neck was weaker and he knew he had to act quickly. Suddenly, a shadow loomed behind him and he recognized her familiar voice. He wanted more than anything to beat the shit out of Illyria for jumping out at them like that but he knew now wasn't the time.

"Illyria. You better get the hell out of here before Buffy wakes up or I swear this isn't gonna be pleasant for any of us", he growled.

"You dare threaten me vampire? I thought you would've realised that you are no match for me from the time we first met?", she yelled.

Spike turned to look at her and scowled.

"I didn't mean me".

Spike heard a moan and span back round to Buffy, who's eyes began to flicker as they slowly opened.

"Buffy?", Spike asked anxiously.

"Uh huh?", she mumbled.

The slayer clutched her throbbing head and started to sit up but Spike caught her as she fell. He lifted her up to a sitting position and kept his arm firmly around her back. After a few seconds, Buffy noticed Illyria staring at her.

"What's she doing here?".

Spike was silent for a few seconds deciding whether or not to give Illyria a chance.

"Erm..she was here when we crashed", he lied but Buffy wasn't really listening.

She was too busy trying to focus on anything as she slipped in and out of states of consciousness.

"Right, I'm getting you to hospital", Spike demanded as she went limp again. Buffy used the little strength she had to grasp his arm.

"No", she mumbled.

"Just take me home".

Spike gave her a concerned look but she blacked out again. No matter what she said, he knew she needed help. He picked her up and started to head down the road when Illyria shouted after him.

"Why did you lie for me Spike?".

Spike halted for a few seconds and then tilted his head half way around towards her. He struggled to answer her.

"I care about you blue. I'm giving you a chance. Now take it and get the hell out of London before I tell Buffy what happened". Illyria looked puzzled.

"Why tell the human at all if you are letting me escape?"

"I've lied to her too many times"...

* * *

The first thing Buffy saw when she awoke was a familiar head of bleach blonde hair, resting beside her on the side of a bed. She looked slightly to her left and saw Spike's hand wrapped firmly around hers. She didn't have much strength to move her arms and legs at the moment so she wriggled her hand from out of Spike's and stroked his cheek, trying to wake him up. Buffy felt his eyelashes brush her palm and he began to slowly sit up. His eyes widened and regained their brightness as he saw Buffy smile meekly at him.

"Hey", he whispered after perching himself on the side of the bed.

"What happened?", Buffy croaked, honestly not being able to remember much about recent events.

Spike hesitated, deciding whether now was the right time to tell the slayer about Illyria's involvement in the accident.

"We crashed love. Got yourself a pretty nasty bang on the head".

Buffy finally became aware of the searing pain in her forehead.

"Doctors said you might not make it through the night". Buffy gave a muffled laugh.

"You don't get rid of me that easily. You of all people should know". There was a pause when a memory dawned on the slayer.

"I don't remember much about it all but I think I remember saying something about no hospitals?", she joked. The vampire reached out and touched her arm.

"You know me pet, not taking chances when it comes to you". Buffy sighed.

"That'll be the day", she muttered sarcastically.

"Does Dawn know about all this? I don't want her worrying", Buffy said in alarm.

"She was the first person I called. Don't worry though, she's still with Xander. I knew you wouldn't want her worrying so I called her after you started recovering", he explained.

"Thank you Spike". Buffy sat up and unattached the leads connected to her when Spike protested.

"Are you sure you're strong enough?", he asked concerned.

"No", she said, rolling her eyes.

"But I will be soon. Accelerated healing remember? One of the advantages of being the slayer. I just need to get out of here"...

* * *

"We're gonna be late", Buffy giggled as Spike kept his hold on her waist.

"C'mon pet we've still got a few minutes", he said as he buried his face in her neck.

The slayer sighed and gave in as her lover pulled her closer. The pair were barely hidden in a waiting room at Heathrow airport, waiting for their flight. It had been 2 days since the accident and the pair wanted to get the hell out of London. After a few seconds, Buffy pulled away from Spike's embrace leaving a slightly disappointed look on his face.

"I promise when we're in LA, we'll have all the time in the world", she murmured seductively before giving the vampire a quick kiss.

She reached behind them and snatched up his holdall, chucking it in his direction.

"Now come on or we're not gonna make this flight". He sighed and pushed himself off the wall which he had been leaning on. He slung the holdall over his shoulder and slithered his free arm around Buffy's waist. She tucked hers around his back and the loved up pair began to walk towards the terminal.

* * *

"What's up?", Buffy asked a nervous Spike as they waited at the baggage carousel.

"Nothing love", he mumbled after pausing for a few seconds.

Buffy raised an eyebrow and wrapped her arms around his neck. He responded by resting one of his on her hip.

"I'll make sure Angel behaves". Buffy grinned and bit her lip as Spike gawped at her.

"Ha! You think that ponce is bothering me, love?".

"Yep! You've been acting like this ever since I mentioned that he's meeting us here". Spike was outraged.

"It's not him!", Spike almost squeaked. Buffy enjoyed the power she had over him.

"Yep. Whatever you say...", she smirked sarcastically.

Suddenly, Spike scooped up both of their bags, slung them over his shoulder and picked up Buffy with his free arm. She started laughing hysterically as he held her horizontally under his arm and started to walk towards the exit.

"What the hell are you doing?", she yelled, still in fits of laughter.

"Showing you how 'scared' I am!", he replied with a grin on his face.

She'd never know how much it meant to him to see her so happy and laughing the way she was right now. After carrying her to the entrance of the airport, he placed the still laughing Buffy against the wall. She tugged the bags from his shoulder so that they slumped onto the floor with a slam. He didn't have time to realize what she was doing before she grabbed his leather collar and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Buffy slithered her hands inside of Spike's jacket and his cool hands ran along the smooth skin of her neck and up to cup her perfectly shaped face. His lips tasted of that familiar smokey flavour she had recently found so much comfort in although he'd had it for years. Hers tasted of the cherry lip balm she had bought back in London. She'd only had it a few hours but he couldn't get enough of it! The pair were interrupted by the sound of a cough coming from just inside the door. They jumped apart, arms still around each other. Buffy blushed in embarrassment whilst Spike bit his lip slightly. After sharing an awkward stare with the figure at the door, Spike attempted a friendly wave.

"Alright Angel?"...


	10. The Welcoming

Angel switched to look at Buffy who couldn't stare at him for more than a few seconds without looking at the floor. She tried to subtly withdraw her hands from Spike's duster but Angel was watching her every move closely. This had been the first time they'd seen each other since he came to Sunnydale to give her the necklace. She'd left him thinking that there might've been a chance for them one day but she knew now that there could never be. She hadn't thought about how hard this was going to be for him, her and Spike staying in LA for 2 weeks all loved up. Buffy felt a slight churning of guilt in her stomach but Spike could tell what she was feeling and a quick glance from him told her not to feel bad. Angel ran a hand through his spiked brown hair.

"We shouldn't keep Gunn, Lorne and Illyria waiting", he mumbled and turned around, beginning to walk outside. Spike turned to face Angel.

"Illyria's back?", he interrupted. Angel turned around and stared at him.

"How did you know she was gone?"

"She sort of followed me to London", he replied staring at the floor in embarrassment. Angel struggled for conversation.

"She wouldn't tell us where she'd been when she got back so..".

Spike pressed his lips together and nodded awkwardly. As Angel began to turn around again, Buffy broke the silence and he stopped.

"How's Cordy?", Buffy asked, still leaning against the wall and trying to attempt a smile.

A pained look appeared on Angel's face and his brow crinkled. Buffy looked concerned as he spun around and headed outside without replying . Spike entwined his fingers with hers and kissed the side of her head as to reassure her of something...

* * *

The jet lag had hit Buffy in the car and she was sleeping on Spike's shoulder. His arm rested around her neck and his hand was gently stroking her head. Angel, who was sat in the front seat driving, had avoided conversation with his love rival all night. Every now and then he had looked at Buffy sleeping through the mirror but his eyes raced back to the road faster than lightning when Spike noticed him. Spike trusted Buffy with his life but he was constantly living in fear of her history with Angel when the pair were together. Who could blame him? He was her first love. He hadn't particularly wanted to come back to LA but he wasn't going to let Fred down. He was confused about why he still talked about Fred like she was still alive. He liked to think that she was still in Illyria somewhere.  
All he'd really wanted to do was for him and Buffy to get the hell away from everyone in their past and just start afresh. Maybe build something together, try and live as normally as a vampire and a slayer could. Spike's thoughts were interrupted when Buffy unconsciously wriggled in her sleep and snuggled up closer to him. He looked down at Buffy and smiled at how peaceful she was. Never in all the years he'd known her had he ever seen her so calm, so content as she was right now in his arms. He was so lost in her that he barely noticed Angel pulling up outside of his old apartment that he had given to Gunn. Angel immediately left the confines of the car and headed inside while Spike gently woke Buffy up, making her wake with a jump.

"What happened?", she asked yawning.

"You fell asleep pet", he replied. She reached into the air and stretched.

"Seriously?". She tried to sound annoyed but she was too tired to attempt any sort of cover up. She clambered out of the car, followed by Spike, and headed towards the entrance to the apartment. They entered and were greeted happily by Gunn and Lorne. Buffy was too distracted by the shower of welcomes to notice Illyria and Spike staring at each other from across the room. He could always hold his gaze on someone but not her. He dropped his eyes to the floor and clenched his fists in embarrassment. Illyria raised the corner of her mouth a little as she realised that she was successfully getting under the vampire's skin.

"Hey there Romeo!". Spike's head shot up and he saw Lorne standing in front of him.

"See it didn't take you long to win round goldilocks", the soul reader continued.

"Guess not", Spike murmured, distracted.

He kept peering over Lorne's shoulder looking for Buffy but she had disappeared into the kitchen. He really wasn't in the mood for the whole welcome back party yet. Well, he wasn't in the mood for it all to be honest! He could vaguely hear Lorne talking in the background but his words seemed muffled.

"Lorne, now's not the right time. I'll speak to you later yeah!", Spike snapped.

He barely noticed Lorne's bewildered expression before heading off into the kitchen. Buffy had both of her hands on the counter, her arms outstretched and was leaning forward with her head hanging down. He could hear her breathing quite heavily.

"Buffy?", Spike asked making Buffy jump round.

"You scared me", she said, forcing a smile.

"What's wrong?".

He lowered his voice as he closed the door and walked towards her. Buffy attempted to look relaxed and leant against the counter, shrugging her shoulders at Spike.

"Nothing. Just..people. I was hoping they'd be gone by now". Spike rubbed the slayer's arms and held her close.

"I know".

The slayer breathed a sigh of relief for the first time all night as she and Spike were finally alone. They weren't around over excited friends or jealous exes, it was just the two of them. The way they needed it to be for now. She leant her head on his shoulder and brought in her hands to his chest.

"What'd ya say we hide out in here for a while?", Buffy asked jokingly but secretly hoping he'd say yes.

"Sounds good pet but I think they'll notice our disappearing act". Buffy tutted.

"Well at least it'll give us some peace".

"Just try and grin and bear it for a little longer".

Buffy nodded and leaned into her lover for a kiss. The pair walked hand in hand back into the main room, trying their best to wear convincing smiles. Buffy saw Angel staring at her from across the room. She turned to Spike and rolled her eyes.

"Looks like Angel wants a word. Try to mingle", she groaned.

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and walked away. Spike saw Illyria glaring at him from a few steps away. He knew it was now or never. He needed to find out exactly what her game was. He strolled over to the goddess, hands in his pockets.

"Enjoying this are you?", he snapped sarcastically. She smirked.

"Very much. Tormenting you fills me with a new feeling. But I enjoy it".

"That's called pleasure Blue. Cant say I haven't had my share of it".

"I wonder what the human would say if she found out that you had kept the truth from her".

Spike's expression of annoyance turned to panic which he desperately tried to hide. He frantically tried to think of something to make her back off.

"Do you know what she'd do to you?", he retorted.

"She can try vampire. She is no match for me".

She stalked past Spike and deliberately made herself noticeable to Buffy. Suddenly, Buffy caught sight of Illyria a few steps away from her.

"Hey. Illyria. Can we talk?".

Illyria walked cautiously over to the slayer and gave her a subtle scowl which Spike immediately picked up on. He walked as fast as he could over towards the 2 women but he was too late to stop them talking. Spike could only watch in horror as Illyria threatened everything he had left. A matter of days ago, he promised Buffy that he'd never keep anything from her again so that they could start again and leave their screwed up relationship(if you could call it that) in the past. He'd really gone and screwed that up now! At the end of the day, he had no one but himself to blame.

"I had an accident a couple of days ago and I haven't been able to remember much about it", she started.

Illyria could only watch in glee at Spike's panicked expression over Buffy's shoulder.

"But I've been remembering flashes and..and I think I remember you there. Something about you being there at the time?".

"You are correct. I was present at the time but I was not a bystander. I caused the metal box to collide". Buffy stared at Illyria in shock and paused for several seconds.

"So...it was an accident right?". Illyria tilted her head slightly.

"Everything that occurs around me, I intend human. Nothing is coincidental".

Buffy stepped back a few paces, clenching her fists and prepared for an attack.

"Your fear overwhelms you. You are no match for me".

Illyria was gone and out of the door in an instant with a swish of her blue hair. To Spike, everything was in slow motion now as it felt like his whole world was falling apart. Buffy turned to him, tears in her eyes.

"Buffy..", he started as he reached for her arm.

"Not now", she muttered, bitterly..


	11. Lying Too Much

Spike had disappeared into the kitchen for the last half an hour, Angel, Lorne and Gunn were over. He'd been going over Buffy's words over and over again his head.

"Not now. Not now. Not now".

What did that mean? It wasn't much to think on but his mind was in overdrive, coming up with all sorts of "what if's". He leaned over the sink, feeling sick with anxiousness, drumming his fingers whilst waiting for the last of the voices from the other room to fade. Once he'd heard the last farewell, from who he thought was Angel, Spike slowly made his way towards the kitchen door. He opened the door a crack, not attracting the attention of Buffy, and saw her push shut the door with her back before slumping into a sitting position, rubbing her face with her hands. He stood there for a few minutes watching her breathe heavily and gently rock herself. Without thinking, he made his way in to the living room and over to her. Buffy snapped her head up to look at her disgraced boyfriend. He stopped a few steps away from her as she got to her feet and crossed her arms.

"Why didn't you just tell me?", she croaked after a few seconds of impossible silence.

If his heart could be beat, the thumping of it would be making his body shake all over right now.

"I was going to...", he started, the tears forming behind his eyes changing the pitch of his voice. He refused to let them fall.

"But I wanted to give Illyria a chance. I didn't think she knew any better. I thought it was an accident...".

All Buffy could do was stare at him, with betrayed eyes. She started pacing up and down the room slightly, her arms never leaving their folded position across her chest.

"I'm not angry because you protected Illyria of all people. I'm not angry with her because she tried to kill me. I'm used to people trying to kill me by now. I'm angry because I'm pretty sure a few days ago we'd left the past behind and promised not to keep anything from each other. Why couldn't you have just told me straight away? I wouldn't have gone off the rails and tried to find Illyria like you thought I might've done".

Spike went to interject but was interrupted by Buffy.

"Don't try to deny it because I know you Spike. I know from how you act, what you think I'll do or react to something".

Spike pulled out a chair from the table and spun it round to sit on it backwards. Buffy walked over and crouched down in front of Spike, their foreheads lightly touching and strands of her hair brushing his cheek. She entwined her fingers with his and tried to get him to look at her but he was too ashamed to open his heavy eyes.

"What's Illyria done to get you to chose her over me?".

Spike's eyelids flung open and he suddenly squeezed her hand tightly.

"Why would I choose her? I've done everything to be with you", Spike replied, the tears choking him by now.

"Then why does it feel like your loyalties lie with Illyria even now?". Buffy was on the verge of tears too.

"I didn't tell you because I thought she was confused because of -". Spike suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"Because of what?", she asked anxiously.

"Because she's in love with me ".

The words screamed in his head like nails on a chalkboard. Buffy bit her lip and hung her head.

"Right...". Spike knew there was no way he could lie now if he there was any way forward for the pair of them.

"Have you ever thought about her like that?".

"I may have thought about it..once or twice. I had no idea where you were or who you were with and she was the only one who really understood me and wanted to be around me. Like Fred. I won't go as far as to say I had feelings for her".

Buffy nodded and smiled before slumping onto the floor and leaning against Spike's lap. She closed her eyes and a single tear dripped down her cheek. Spike hesitantly sat down beside her and pulled her head to his shoulder but she didn't pull away. She welcomed his comfort. He didn't know what to say next but at the same time he didn't care. He just wanted to hold her, take care of her and not think about how long or little time he had left with her...

* * *

By the time they'd finished talking, it was well past 4am and the exhausted slayer had fallen asleep in his arms. He'd carried her to the bedroom and draped a blanket over her. The bags under her eyes had darkened and he knew it wasn't just down to exhaustion. He pictured how she looked when he first saw her again down the alley by the hotel. Her bright eyes were sparkling even in the pitch black, her soft blonde hair bounced around in the wind, not a dark ring on her face was in sight. She was happy and had moved on from the events in Sunnydale, she was relatively out of danger as much as a slayer could be and had a stable life with Dawn. Since he'd turned up, he'd unburied her old demons and unwelcome feelings, separated her from Dawn. She would've happily gone with her to Greece if he hadn't have been around. And his fucked up relationship with Illyria had put her in danger. Maybe she was better off without him. She'd hurt like hell again for a while but in the long term, him staying out of her life would be beneficial for her mental and physical state. It was about 6:30 now and Buffy was still in a deep sleep. Spike lay next to her, brushing hair out of her face and every now and then placing gentle kisses on her neck and face, more to reassure himself that she was still with him than to comfort her. He was about to drift off to sleep himself when he felt her waist wriggle under his hand. She moaned and stretched out her arms, grabbing the headboard. She switched sides so that she was facing Spike and was aware of his presence beside her but her eyes remained firmly shut. Spike had no idea how she was feeling or what to say to her. If this was what it was going to be like every time they fucked up... Spike gently slid off the bed incase she wasn't fully awake and grabbed his duster from a nearby chair. He skulked towards the front door but stopped when he caught sight of the dining table chair, that he had pulled out last night, still sitting in the middle of the room. He recalled all the bull he'd thought about last night. How he was only concerned about losing Buffy and not about how betrayed she felt by him. He shook the memories from his mind and continued towards the door. As soon as she heard the door shut, Buffy opened her eyes and immediately sat up. She didn't know what to think about anything either but there was one thing she did know. She knew how he felt. She was just as confused as him about what the future held...

* * *

Spike had lost track of time. He'd been out for at least 8 hours just walking around town thinking. He still hadn't come to any conclusion about what to do. He felt seriously weak and light headed and he wondered if that had something to do with the fact that he hadn't fed in over 3 days. Before making the way home, he stopped off at the butchers for a few sacks of pigs blood when he stopped outside the entrance, recognising the blonde at the counter. Buffy. What was she doing here? He knew she'd seen him when she hurried up the butcher and rushed through the crowd towards the entrance. Spike began to panic and frantically spun on the spot to run off when she was on him in seconds.

"Spike!", she yelled as she ran in front of him and stopped him from running any further by pushing her free hand to his chest.

"Running isn't gonna sort this. You of all people should know".

"You don't deserve what I've done to you. I don't know what else there is to sort". Buffy sighed in frustration.

"Can you stop wallowing in self pity for one moment and focus on the future not what you've done in the past". Spike felt uncomfortable as she stepped closer.

"What's done is done. We all mess up. Hell I'm the slayer I should know!". Spike still wasn't convicted.

"All I'm saying is that you meant well even if the decision you made wasn't the best one. It was stupid of me to expect that nothing would go wrong in this relationship. I'm not letting you go because of some jealous psycho demon bitch trying to kill me".

Spike smiled and finally lifted his sad eyes to hers.

"Believe me we've been up against worse", she continued.

Buffy dropped the paper bag full of blood and the pair embraced, holding each other tightly. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his around her back as they both silently wept with frustration and relief. Buffy pulled away, smiling as she did.

"C'mon. Looks like we got a date with Angel"...


	12. The Incident

**A/N: 4 days and I've only written this short chapter but I really wanted to leave this one on a cliff-hanger. I just wanted to say thank you for the absolutely OVERWHELMING response from this story. I will be wrapping this fic up in the next few chapters but don't worry I have plans for more. I've been asked to write a Buffy/Spike/Angelus story set in 'Helpless' season 3 but before that, I'm partnering up with an Instagram follower to write a fic about an area of Spike's past that we haven't discovered yet. Enjoy!**

* * *

"What's so desperately important that Peaches needs to see us now?", Spike moaned as Buffy insisted that they head straight to the hotel on Hyperion Avenue, the old Angel Investigations HQ.

"I don't know! He wouldn't tell me over the phone but it sounded pretty urgent".

Spike rolled his eyes as the slayer pulled him towards the car but he overpowered her, swapping their places so that he was in control of her movement.

"If I knew that we were going to be at Angel's beck and call every time he can't do something himself, I would've suggested staying in sodding London in that crappy hotel".

Buffy sighed impatiently and held onto the opening of his leather duster as he pulled her in closer.

"I thought we were gonna get away from all of this pet?", he murmured in his most heart wrenching voice that he knew melted Buffy every time. She gave him a playful scowl and pouted.

"I hate it when you do that. The whole puppy act isn't getting you anywhere today mister". Spike leaned in closer to the slayer, breathing in her scent.

"Well it was worth a try", he growled as their lips met.

Buffy pulled away but Spike's arms still kept a crushing grip on her waist even when she ducked and struggled from side to side.

"Don't think you're getting out of this".

Spike raised an eyebrow and lowered his hands but Buffy took advantage of this moment of distraction and flew round to the driver's door.

"I can always leave you here. Alone. Unprotected. No stake".

"Yeh yeh slayer alright I get ya", he interrupted.

Buffy clambered into the seat and the roaring engine of their Lamborghini started up.

* * *

Spike had always hated Lambos. Sure enough they were a nice looking car but he'd had a bad experience with one back in the 70's. Spike was on edge as Buffy exploited the full power of the car, skidding round bends, dangerously wavering around other cars and almost crashing a few times.

"What's up with you now?", Buffy sighed after noticing his fingers digging into the seats slightly.

"Nothing. Just..never liked these bloody cars", he said through clenched teeth.

"Why not?", she teased.

"Just keep your eyes on the sodding road love!".

Buffy continued to stare at him, fully aware of what was going on in front of her and how much she was winding Spike up.

"Why?", she repeated, an evil grin starting to appear on her face.

"Just a bad experience with one a few decades ago".

"What happened?". Spike glared at Buffy.

"Lets just say it involved me and a certain slayer. Now pet, just let it go", he remarked sternly, raising a hand.

Buffy tutted and reluctantly turned her attention back to the highway but was secretly gleeful about the power she had over him yet again. It never used to be this often that she found something to hold over him and wind him up with. Since they'd gotten together, there had been a few things he let slip. Spike was unusually quiet for the duration of the journey. He was probably still beating himself up over the whole Illyria situation. It was hard to tell. Buffy reached for Spike's hand with her free one and held it tightly. He gave her a pained look, unable to contain what was really troubling him.

"It's not just Lambos is it?", she joked.

Spike smiled a little and lifted her hand towards his lips and pressed it against them. He held it there for a few moments before letting Buffy focus fully on the road again.

* * *

Buffy pulled in at the Hyperion Hotel a few minutes later and of course Angel was standing at the entrance, carefully following her every action. Buffy thought she would've gotten used to Angel's over protective behavior by now but it still really bugged her. He continued to stare at her and shot her a slightly seductive smile as she stepped out of the car. A threatened Spike slunk round to the opposite side of the car and pulled Buffy close to him, warning Angel off. Buffy shot an apologetic look at Angel, embarrassed by Spike's childish behavior. As Angel turned away, Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's neck and brushed his ear with her lips.

"Try to play nice honey", she whispered.

Her warm breath on his skin sent shivers down his spine as she continued their embrace.

"Can't promise anything I'm afraid love".

Buffy stepped back and grabbed Spike's arm, pulling him towards the hotel entrance.

"It'll be worth your while later on".

Spike's expression widened at her words and he drew an imaginary zipper across his mouth when she looked back. Buffy couldn't help but blush. Gunn and Lorne were sitting on the lowest step of the stair case, talking quietly amongst themselves but their conversation skidded to a halt when they spotted Angel giving them a firm look. Buffy and Spike were blissfully unaware of the secrecy of the 3 and continued to smile and joke around, their hands firmly wrapped around the others. Lorne, easily the best liar in the group, jumped up and opened his arms to embrace Buffy.

"How're ya doing sweet cheeks? Blondie bear here treating ya well?".

He gave a wink, causing the slayer to giggle slightly.

"There's still time", she replied, still a shake in her voice from laughing.

An irritable Angel, moved the conversation swiftly along.

"Buffy. Spike. Can I talk to you both on the office please?".

The pair nodded and made towards the little box room behind the front desk. Spike quickly made a detour towards Gunn and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Listen, I know I gave the apartment to you but I'm gonna need it back for the next couple of weeks if we're staying if that's okay?".

Gunn smiled and tapped him on the shoulder.

"No problem man. I know you need to keep the Mrs happy".

Spike gave him another tap on the shoulder before walking off towards the office where Angel and Buffy were already sat down and in a state of deep discussion. Spike closed the door behind him and sat down in a chair next to his girlfriend, crossing a leg over on to his thigh.

"So what did I miss?", he asked gleefully, tapping the arm rests either side of him. He looked over towards Buffy who was resting the side of her head in the palm of her hand, a shell shocked expression spread across her face.

"Love? What's up?", he asked cautiously as he reached to touch her arm.

When Buffy didn't reply, he glanced over to the desk in front of them where Angel was sitting. He gently swiveled in his chair.

"Angel!", he yelled. After a few moments silence, the brunette vampire looked up at the blonde one and sighed.

"It's Dawn"...


	13. Old Friends

**A/N: I REALLY got stuck into this chapter one morning and didn't know how to end it so that's why it's so long! **

** Depending on which way you look at this chapter, there might be a character death. This note may not make sense now but it will as you read on through this chapter. So.. WARNING character death.**

**Enjoy! :D**

* * *

"What's happened to her?", he demanded.

Angel opened his mouth and then closed it again. Spike leaped out of his seat and slammed his fists on Angel's desk.

"Angel! What. Has. Happened. To. Her!", he yelled.

"She's in a coma". Spike gasped under his breath, stepping back from the table a little. Tears stung at his eyes like acid.

"Wha -", he stuttered. Spike rubbed his face in his hands.

"How?", he finally got out.

"Xander called me because he didn't know where you two were. She was found in an alley and taken straight into hospital. She'd been beaten senseless".

Buffy began to break down into tears, covering her face and frantically wiping her eyes. Spike moved over towards her shaking frame and sat down beside her again, holding her close. She barely responded to his gesture but tried to put an arm around his. The broken vampire turned to look at Angel again.

"Who the bloody hell would want to touch Dawn?".

Angel picked up a remote and turned towards a TV in the corner of the room. Colour flashed onto the screen and an image of a dark alley appeared. A relatively short brunette with long straight hair down to her chest wondered round a corner into the alley. He could tell from her pretty features that it was Dawn. He remembered her gorgeous smile that always lit up the room, her freckled cheeks that would always make her look so much younger than she actually was. What kind of sick psycho would want to hurt an innocent 18 year old girl? Suddenly, a figure slowly approached Dawn from behind. The oblivious teenager flicked open her phone when a hand grabbed her arm and shoved her up against a wall. Although there was no sound on the tape, he could see Dawnie's terrified expression and couldn't help but imagine her screams and pleas as the figure, still engulfed in shadows, pinned the girl by her neck. Spike hid Buffy's face in his neck as the attacker threw punches at the young summers woman before she fell to the ground, unconscious within 20 seconds. As the person exited the other side of the alley, they walked through a tiny streak of light but it was enough for anyone who knew them to know who it was as Angel paused the screen. Spike's flat hands on Buffy's shoulders soon turned into fists and his eyebrows lowered in rage. Trying to kill Buffy was one thing but preying on a defenseless teenager who hadn't hurt anyone in the world just to spite them was a whole different game. He was gonna kill this blue bitch once and for all. Buffy had stopped crying but make-up stained her cheeks. She pulled away from Spike and sat up before, glancing at him, still trembling. He stared back at her.

"Not if I get to her first", she croaked as if she could read Spike's thoughts through his expression.

Buffy stood up and pushed back her chair, causing an ear shattering screech. She launched herself out of the office and towards the entrance of the hotel. Spike leant his head back, so it disappeared from Angel's view, and sighed.

"Go after her", Angel mumbled. Spike whipped his head back up and gave him a puzzled look.

"She needs you more than anyone right now. I even I can see that now". Was Angel finally accepting their relationship?

"She's in no state to confront Illyria and if you lose track of her now, there's no way we'll get to her before she finds Illyria".

"So get after her", he repeated.

It suddenly hit Spike that Buffy wouldn't be thinking rationally when it came to her sister. He also knew that Angel was right about Buffy being a damn hard girl to track down from a long distance. He nodded to Angel and with a swish of his duster, he was racing after the slayer into the dusky light outside. Gunn and Lorne watched as Spike called to Buffy again and again. Angel made an appearance in the doorway and the pair turned to him.

"How'd she take it?", Gunn asked quietly.

"No different than we expected".

Buffy had only made it to the car before Spike was upon her grabbing the keys.

"What the hell are you doing?", she cried.

"I'm not letting you go on a wild goose chase around Europe trying to find Illyria on your own when you have no idea where to start!".

"I don't need to know. I'll find moment she touched my sister, she brought a death sentence on herself and I'm the one who has to do this so don't try to stop me!", she yelled as she reached for the ring of metal that Spike still held in his grasp.

Of course, he was too quick for her and chucked them inside his duster pocket so he could grab her and calm her down. She continued to struggle but he refused to back down and waited until she gave up trying to escape. However, Buffy was also putting up a fight and didn't stop. Spike didn't see any other choice to stop her screaming and crying so he pressed his lips against hers in a kiss so deep that it was impossible for her to let any noise out at all. As he lingered, she slowly stopped struggling too and let his tenderness take over her thoughts. He gently withdrew his fingers from her golden hair, as she regained self control, but they didn't leave her face as he caressed every line and crease on her bright pink cheeks. Buffy felt her knees weaken as Spike pulled away. His hands still cupping her face, his gaze burned a hole in her own eyes.

"Even you aren't strong enough to take on Illyria by yourself but I promise we'll find her together"...

* * *

They'd been on the plane for 6 hours and Buffy had refused to sleep, which in turn had led Spike to not being able to sleep, worrying about her. She'd just been sitting there, her head leant on Spike's shoulder, staring out of the window for hours. He thought back to the Glory days in Sunnydale (no pun intended) when the God kidnapped Dawn and Buffy went into her catatonic like state. As much as he tried to hide it in front of Willow, Xander, Giles and Tara, he was breaking down inside, worrying if they'd lost the real Buffy forever. He didn't know if he could cope with that again. Red only just managed to snap her out of it last time. He couldn't help but think that she was just lucky.

"Please try to sleep love", he whispered into the slayer's ear.

"I can't. Not why she's still out there". Spike gently sighed.

"Staying awake isn't gonna get us there any faster. You need to keep your strength up too".

"I just feel like I'd be failing Dawn if I lost focus for even a second".

"Don't you think like that. You're her hero. You could never fail her because you're doing everything you can to stop this happening again". He paused.

"But she'd want you to look after yourself".

Buffy sighed and completely closed her eyes after hesitantly opening and shutting them for a few minutes. Spike stroked her cheek for a few seconds before letting her drift off.

* * *

By the time Buffy awoke, 8 hours had passed and they had begun to land. Spike was glad that she had slept for so long since he figured that she might not sleep again until Illyria had been found. She rubbed her eyes to get a better look at her surroundings, momentarily forgetting where she was or who she was with until the painful memory of Dawn's terrified face from the CCTV footage overcame the mental barrier she had unconsciously created. She scooped her hair off of her hot neck and face and tied it back in a messy bun, leaning back as she relaxed. She ran her fingers over the sticky skin on her arms before coming into contact with Spike's hand which he'd placed just above her wrist a while ago by the looks of it. She looked up to see his head tilted to the left and his eyes twitched behind their lids slightly as he dreamt his way through some much needed slumber. Buffy flinched as the ring of the announcement speaker echoed through the plane. Spike opened his eyes to find Buffy staring pitifully at him.

"What's up?", he mumbled. Her hand still on his, she squeezed it tightly.

"I'm sorry for running off like that. Back in LA".

Spike shifted towards her and turned his hand round so he could entwine his fingers with hers.

"You've got NOTHING to be sorry for. I would've done exactly the same if it was my sister. I'd be worried if you didn't run off".

Buffy half heatedly smiled and leaned into Spike.

"At the end of the day, killing Illyria isn't gonna help Dawn get better pet".

"I know"...

* * *

It felt good being with him again. Someone who loved Dawn as much as she did, sharing her pain.

"Hey Buff", Xander whispered as he wrapped his arms around the slayer.

"Hey you". They pulled apart but Xander kept his hand on her arm.

"How -". Buffy paused.

"How is she?", she finally asked. Xander looked like he'd just sucked on an orange as he squeezed his lips together.

"The same. Still in a deep sleep".

Buffy felt frustrated.

"Xander you can just say coma you know", she snapped.

Spike, who was lingering in the background, stepped forward towards the slayer.

"Love. Calm down". Buffy looked slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry", she muttered.

Xander nodded awkwardly and then pointed towards the entrance.

"Let's get outta here", he mumbled before heading outside, Spike and Buffy following not far behind.

"Why am I such an insensitive bitch sometimes?", she asked casually.

"You're not. You just...don't think sometimes". Buffy gave him a confused look.

"Thanks for the encouragement". Spike linked her arm through his.

"I'm doing my best to stick to our honesty policy here love".

Spike got more of a grin out of her than he'd seen in hours.

"There's my girl again".

They unlinked and walked side by side yet again when they caught up with Xander. Buffy wasn't sure if Dawn had told Xander about her and Spike yet and she didn't want to suddenly spring anything on him and make life any more complicated. Buffy climbed in to the front of the car with Xander and Spike reluctantly clambered into the back.

"So I take it we're going straight to the hospital?", Buffy asked.

"Yeah. I think Dawnie would like to see you".

Buffy was about to make another comment about Dawn being in a coma and not being able to hear people but she stopped herself, realizing how much Xander was relying on hope right now.

"Yeah".

As they pulled into the car park, Buffy looked out of the window and up at the looming building. She'd forgotten now much she hates hospitals. Her cousin, her mum and now Dawn. Hospitals were supposed to be a place of healing. Nothing good had ever happened here in her lifetime. As she stepped out of the car and into the scorching Greek sunlight, she saw a thin figure walking towards her, average height, flared dress and of course, her distinctive long orange hair.

Willow...


	14. Together Again

It felt like a million years since they'd all been together. She couldn't keep the tears at bay when Willow started running towards her. She just threw her arms around the witch and broke down. She felt that this was the first time she could since LA. Willow stroked Buffy's hair and thought back to the time when Angel had dumped her just before the prom and she spent hours consoling her.

"Hey", Willow eventually whispered.

"Hey Will".

Xander and Spike surprisingly were having a civilised conversation as they walked side by side towards the 2 girls. Spike deliberately slowed down, as Xander rushed off to grab Willow into a hug, and squeezed Buffy's hand comfortingly when the coast was clear, since he wasn't able to publicly comfort her like he wanted to for now. The 4 worried ex scoobies all caught up with each other and turned towards the entrance. "

"So Spike, how long have you been living again then? Well, as much as a vampire can live", Xander asked. Spike smirked.

"A few months. Spent most of that helping Peaches out in LA". Xander stared at him like he was expecting more of an explanation.

"You don't call? You don't write?". The vampire dipped his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground.

"I didn't know how to explain it all. And maybe I was a little scared".

Buffy spun her head to her left to look at him. He'd never mentioned that before. What was he scared of? In the past, Xander would've laughed in his face but he was beyond mocking the vampire, accepting now that he would always have a special place in Buffy's life. He just didn't know how special yet. Xander led the way to Dawn's room like he knew the way by heart. He stopped just outside the door, shooting Buffy a concerned look.

"Listen. Buff. She's not the way you reme -"

"Xander I just need to see her", Buffy interjected.

Xander reluctantly moved aside so that Buffy could make her way in. She cracked open the door a fraction and paused but decided not to wait any longer. Even Spike went pale when he saw the sight in front of him. There in front of them was a lifeless Dawn, her face blackened with bruises, her neck covered in cuts and her arms littered with huge gashes. The colour in her hair had dulled from that gorgeous shade of hazel brown and her brilliant sky blue eyes were hidden from view by her darkened eyelids. Tubes stuck out from various parts of her body, making her look like some sort of project. The high pitch 'beep' of the machine sustaining her life, haunted them like no spirit or ghost they'd faced. Buffy approached her sister's bedside, reaching for her red swollen hand and flinching away after feeling it's size.

"What have the doctors said?", she squeaked. Xander scratched his head.

"They said it's too early to tell when she'll wake up. She could be like this for a day, a month or years. Maybe forever".

Buffy felt as if someone had blown a hole in the middle of her and she reacted to the physiological sensation by clutching her chest. Spike realized suddenly why Angel watched over Buffy's every move when she was in the room because he was now doing it. All those times he'd mentally criticized Angel about it and now he knew why. To make sure she was safe. Not in pain. To protect her from everything he could. Xander approached the other side of the bed and adjusted the pillows under Dawn's delicate head. He sat down on the chair beside her, brushing her hair out of her face. He couldn't do much to help her apart from keeping her as comfortable as he could. It was also a comfort to him looking after her. Leaning against the back wall still, Spike looked over to Xander.

"When was the last time you saw her?", he mumbled in a gruff voice.

"She'd been out with a friend all afternoon and I assume she was coming home when she was attacked. I was planning an evening in for us when the hospital called. Police still have no idea who the attacker was, even with video footage".

Spike and Buffy shot each other guilty glances from across the room but Xander was too distracted to notice. Fortunately for him, Willow wasn't fooled by their shifty cover ups.

"Spike, Buffy. Can I have a word please?".

The pair nodded towards her and followed the Wicca out of the room. After gently closing the door behind them, Willow folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"You know more about Dawn's attacker than you're letting on don't you?". Spike looked to Buffy for approval and she nodded.

"We're still deciding what to do about her". Willow stepped forward a little.

"Her?", she repeated. Spike sighed.

"Her name's Illyria. She worked with us back in LA but she has a vendetta against me and Buffy".

Willow looked confused.

"She put Dawn in a coma by hand in less than 30 seconds. A human's strength isn't capable of that. Spike, who is she?".

"She was human. Well, Fred was. But Illyria was one of 'the old ones'. A sort of ancient demon, sealed in a sarcophagus and protected. Until her sarcophagus found it's way into Wolfram and Hart. Fred inhaled Illyria's sort of.. 'essence' and it took over her body in a matter of hours, destroying everything Fred was completely".

Spike flinched at the painful memories but continued.

"She was forced to work alongside us for certain reasons and we were..okay..for a while". Willow was intrigued by Spike's story.

"But that doesn't explain why she'd hurt Dawn?", Willow interrupted.

"Well she sort of. Is. Weirdly...".

"She's in love with Spike", a frustrated Buffy interrupted.

Willow gave Spike a 'seriously' look and Spike in turn gave his girlfriend 'a thanks for nothing' look.

"When I rejected her, she tried to kill Buffy and went for Dawn when that failed".

"Wouldn't it make sense to go for Dawn if she was trying to hurt Buffy, not you?".

"That was the idea Red. She was jealous of Buffy", Spike explained, trying to give the witch a hint.

Buffy gave him a subtle glare, knowing what he was trying to do. Willow tried to make sense of it all.

"Wait wait wait. All she was interested in was you Spike, right? What did Buffy have that -".

There was a long awkward silence before it dawned on Willow.

"Oh crap..you're not?", she sighed as she pointed at the flushed pair. They avoided her gaze.

"Didn't this end awfully last time guys? You need to think about this again before..ya know..". Spike looked on in horror at Willow.

"Bloody hell! You've got the wrong end of the stick Red! It's not like that anymore. We've..". He paused.

"We've decided to give it a go". Willow couldn't help but get a little bit giddy.

"So you guys are actually together? Like snugly, stupid arguments all the time type together?", she squeaked jumping up and down a little.

"Yeah but keep it on the down low for now Will. We haven't told anyone yet. Not a word".

Willow managed to contain her excitement after realizing how inappropriate her laughter was at a time like this and drew an imaginary zipper across her lips.

"Not a word", she repeated. Buffy smiled meekly.

"Thanks Will".

"It's cool", she replied in her adorable little voice.

"Xander's gonna be wondering where we are. I'll keep him busy while you two spend some time together. I'll just say you're getting coffee. Unless you want longer together then I can make something else up".

"No Willow I need to be with Dawnie", Buffy protested.

"Knowing you, you're not gonna leave her side for the next few days. Just take a breather for now. I got your back".

When Buffy glanced away for a second in thought, Willow threw Spike a wink as if to say not to mention it. Buffy let out a huge sigh.

"Okay, but I'm not staying away for long!", she commanded. Willow grinned and headed back into join Xander.

As soon as the redhead was out of sight, Spike collapsed onto a plush arm chair in the corridor. Buffy didn't even have to look at him for a second before curling up in his lap.

"We should've been on Venice Beach by now, drinking cocktails, soaking up the sunshine".

Spike cringed at the slayer and she cranked her head round to get a glimpse of his wound up expression.

"There's shade", she mumbled sarcastically.

He dug her in the ribs and she laughed a little. Then she realized where she was again. Spike caught wind of her mood change and buried his face in her neck, her hair sprawled everywhere.

"We're gonna get her back. One way or another", he said in a muffled tone.

"You sure about that?", she replied, playing with the rings on his fingers.

"You heard Xander. It could be years".

Spike pulled away from her and again she stretched her neck sideways again to give him a stunned look when she realized what he was talking about. A sudden rush of adrenaline took over her senses and she felt fractionally sick.

"If or when we run out of other options, it might be an idea to think about it".

"Even if I agreed to it, which I'm not saying I am, who would we go to? We can't ask Willow to do it. What if it went wrong? She'd never forgive herself. I'd never forgive myself".

"We'd find someone. Don't get worked up about it. I shouldn't have mentioned it until nearer the time". Buffy glared at him.

"What do you mean nearer the time? So you're giving up on her already?"

Spike waved a hand in protest.

"No! But magic seems like our only back up right now".

She clambered off of his lap and leant against the wall.

"Yeh I know. Sorry". Spike didn't move from his sitting position, his eyes still fixed on the floor.

"She's stronger than you give her credit for Buffy. She'll pull through".

"You don't know how many times I've heard that sorta thing. But I can't afford to take chances. Especially when it comes to Dawn". Spike leaned forward slightly.

"A few years ago I would've agreed but since I met you Buffy, I've realised that a lot of things are possible". Buffy started to smirk.

"And I just realised how cliche that sounded", he gasped. Buffy's small giggle turned into a full blown laughing fit.

"See you've turned me soft love!".

Buffy tried to calm herself down, letting a giggle escape every now and then for the next minute or so. The pair smiled at each other for a while before Spike broke the silence.

"I'm probably not gonna convince you but I'm gonna suggest it anyway. I spoke to Xander before we took off and he's welcomed us to stay at his place. Go home for a bit. Get some rest while you can".

Buffy arched her back in frustration and pushed against the wall harder.

"You know I can't. Not yet", she replied.

Spike couldn't help but look annoyed even though he wasn't surprised at her decision. Spike heaved himself off the chair and wandered over towards an exhausted Buffy.

"This time slayer, I'm not taking no for an answer". He grabbed her hand and gently tugged her towards the exit. Buffy fell forward, too weak to resist.

"I'm not able to physically win against you today so please just let me stay", she moaned, barely able to keep her eyes open. Spike loosened his grip on her.

"Love have you seen yourself? Just listen to me for once and put your head down for a bit. If you want, I'll come back here and stay with the niblet. I'll let you know if anything changes".

Buffy huffed in defeat and reached for his face so that she was touching his bold cheek.

"I don't deserve you", she muttered.

"Well tough slayer your stuck with me".

He rotated his head towards the slayer's warm palm until his mouth rested in it. He kissed it tenderly and then wrapped his hand around it again.

"But you're still coming home"

"Ugh FINE. But I can't ask you to come all the way back here. I've already dragged you around the world enough in the last week"...

* * *

Xander's apartment was only about an hour away from the hospital. Even at night, the heat was still unbearable making the pair even more tired. Xander's place was even bigger than she'd imagined. A huge 2 floor villa, resting right beside the beach. Buffy followed Spike up the glittery granite path, taking in the sounds of the waves only a few meters away. It'd been years since she'd been this close to the coast. She'd forgotten how relaxed and at ease it made her feel. How much she'd missed it. And there was no one she'd rather be here with. Spike scooped up a plant pot outside, as instructed by Xander, and as he thought he would, he found a set of keys. The lounge/dining room area was the first thing that came into view when they entered. It took up over half of the first floor, the conjoined kitchen taking up most of the other half. The floors were polished, the furniture neatly organized and tidy. The old vintage fireplace was what really captured Buffy's eye. She never knew Xander had such great taste. She knew he'd never admit it but she could tell Spike was impressed. How could Xander afford this place too?

"Pretty nice right?", she asked. Spike turned his head, body still facing the glass wall panels that overlooked the beach.

"It's okay", Spike replied, trying to sound uninterested. She laughed and he turned back towards the beautiful night time view of the ocean. The 'clip clop' of Buffy's small heeled shoes across the slippery tiles attracted his attention again. She began to climb the spiraling staircase in the middle of the room, dragging her hand up the smooth marble rail as she walked. The top floor wasn't as big. To her right, there were 2 sets of wooden double doors, separated by about a meter of wall. To her left, another set of double doors stood tall but were central this time. Buffy's attention flickered to another large double door directly opposite her, this one made of the clearest glass she'd ever seen, even in the dark. It led out to a balcony, hovering over the shore. She strode over towards the door and lifted up the lever that unlocked it. The cool rush of wind that blew in, when she opened the door, was exhilarating. Her feet sore, she removed her shoes and set them down inside before traipsing outside. The wooden decking felt damp beneath her toes which was a change from being cooped up in her stuffy, sweaty boots all day. She leaned onto the glass paneled balcony, a sudden gush of wind blocking out any other noise. That's probably why she didn't hear Spike sneak up on her. She jumped as he snaked his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. Buffy leant her head back to look at him.

"I'm still not used to you being around full time yet". Spike raised a puzzled eyebrow.

"So I wasn't around full time back in Sunnyhell then?". Buffy squeezed her lips together and thought for a moment.

"Well..not as much as people like Xander and Willow".

"Excuse me. A, Willow practically lived with you so she doesn't count. And B, from my point of view I spent almost every day with you. Considering I can't go out in the sun love, I think I did a pretty good job of coming to see you". Buffy hadn't though of it like that.

"Okay. You have a point there".

Spike started to mildly laugh which in turn set Buffy off. Once the humour of the moment had worn off, Spike realized why she'd agreed to leave the hospital in the first place.

"Guess we'd better get some kip eh' love?".

Bringing her head forward from Spike's shoulder, she rubbed her arms to keep warm.

"Guess we should".

Buffy was stunned as Spike swooped her up into his arms and carried her inside, sliding the door shut behind them with his foot. The 2 side by side rooms each had a piece of paper stuck on them. Buffy recognized Xander's scrawly hand writing anywhere. One of them read "Buffy" and the other "Spike".

"I know the ponce doesn't know about us but let's just hope that either one of these rooms has a double bed".

Buffy tried to sound irritated when she sighed but secretly she was flattered.

"Typical. I knew there was an ulterior motive to get me back here". Spike avoided her gaze.

"Wasn't my original intention love but -".

Spike was cut off as the slayer wriggled out of his arms and pulled him into a kiss. They stumbled into the room, kissing vigorously and slammed the door behind them...


	15. Contemplating The Future

**A/N: Here's another update! I can't help but go into detail and throw a little more Spuffy in when I should be focusing on Dawn and Illyria so luckily for you guys, I take back what I said about wrapping this story up in the next few chapters. No WAY am I gonna get this story finished at the right standard in less than 20 chapters. I've really enjoyed writing this story so far and I'm LOVING the response from you all! If you have any friends who you think would like to read this or any other of my stories, I would really appreciate it if you gave me a shout out to them! Thank you all so so much and enjoy!**

**P.S I always always always welcome feedback! I would prefer constructive criticism rather than just the average "well done" comment if you know what I mean. Thank you!**

**I dedicate this chapter to ginar369 who has consistently reviewed every chapter and has really challenged my perspective of the story!**

* * *

Buffy awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. She winced as the noise went straight through her. It was on the table on Spike's side of the bed but she could tell he wasn't going to make any effort to pick it up. Good job too in case it was Xander. She groaned as she removed herself from a seriously comfortable position amongst the cotton sheets and reached over Spike's bare chest to take the call. He unconsciously squirmed a little as she rested on him.

"Hello", Buffy yawned.

"Hey Buffy, it's Willow!", she chirped.

The slayer rubbed her eyes with her free hand and tried to sound more awake.

"Hey Will. What's up?".

"Oh, nothing. Was just checking to see if you two were up yet but by the sounds of it I woke you. Sorry".

"No it's fine. I needed to get up".

"I'll say. It's 12 already", she joked.

Buffy's eyes widened in shock. She grabbed the small portable clock next to the phone rest and stared at it in horror.

"Oh crap!", she cried.

"No no it's fine! Seems that you needed the rest".

"I'll get there as soon as I can, Will. I'm so sorry".

"Buffy seriously there's no rush. Xander hasn't left Dawn's side all night again. She needs you awake and refreshed. Take your time".

Even though she knew Willow couldn't see her, she smiled.

"Thanks Will. I won't be too long though".

"Stop worrying and chill".

"Okay. I'll see you later".

With that Buffy slammed the phone down and looked down to a still sleeping Spike. She laid her arms across his collar bone, gently placing her chin on them. She smiled at the peaceful vampire. God she loved him. She couldn't remember why it took her so long to admit it. Maybe because her love for him was shielding the past now. Her stare was the thing that eventually caused him to open his eyes. He wriggled again under her weight and she crawled her way back to the empty side of the bed but still faced him.

"Morning", she whispered.

"To you it is", he grumbled, barely able to keep his eyes open.

He nuzzled her neck and pulled her in closer to shield out the indirect sunlight.

"It's really time you got out of the whole creature of the night routine".

"I've lived with it for well over a century love so forgive me if it's a struggle to begin with".

Buffy reached her free arm around the top of Spike's head, and knotted her fingers in his now uncombed and messy curls, her other hand in Spike's.

"You do know why we slept in so late right?", she chuckled.

Spike grinned mischievously, his face still buried. He thought back to the night before, trying to come up with an answer. He pulled his head back to gaze up at her perfect features.

"You didn't have to say yes pet".

Buffy gawped, pulled a pillow out from underneath his head and whacked him with it. He enjoyed teasing her.

"Well, I could retort, that you should know not to tempt me by now", she snapped back.

Spike pinned her wrist down and tauntingly lent over her lips.

"In that case, I'll remove myself from temptation then", he sniggered and withdrew from the bed. Buffy panicked and sat up.

"Did I say it was a bad thing?", she squeaked as she blushed way too much than she should've. Spike shook his head.

"You've blown it now love", he remarked as he wrapped a bed sheet around the lower half of his body.

"We're just gonna have to test to see if the shower's less tempting". Buffy tried to play him at his own game.

"Oh we do, do we? Maybe I've changed my mind", she taunted, playfully, as she lent against the headboard and crossed he arms.

She pouted slightly, knowing that he could resist that. A now impatient Spike slowly walked round to her side of the bed and knelt down to her level. He tenderly started to kiss her, caressing her lips. He knew she enjoyed this so had a steady grip on her waist when she pushed closer to him. When Buffy least expected it, he scooped her up into his arms, like he'd done last night. She giggled hysterically as he carried her towards the bathroom. Luckily, she'd cocooned herself in sheets earlier so he didn't catch her too off guard. It didn't matter too much now anyway since she assumed they'd be coming off any second now...

* * *

Since they'd slept in so late and there was no shade they could walk through to get to the car, Buffy and Spike had to wait until dusk to set off for the hospital again. She felt less guilty about leaving Dawn for 24 hours than before. Maybe because she started to realize that there wasn't much she could do for her. They eventually arrived at the ICU of the hospital at about 7 in the evening to find both Xander and Willow drinking coffee over a conversation. Xander seemed to be properly smiling for the first time recently. Willow could always be relied on for that.

" Buffy! You're here!", Willow said, placing down her coffee cup.

"Sorry we're late. I think both of us were pretty tired last night", she replied.

"Thanks for the rooms too", Spike added. Xander looked slightly confused.

"Willow said that you weren't staying at the villa anymore Spike. That you had a change of plans".

Willow went red in embarrassment whilst Buffy quickly tried to think of an excuse.

"Erm..what. What he meant was..thanks for the room..even though he wasn't staying there. I. I told him about you making one up for him".

"Yeah...", Spike agreed, sounding a little too unconvincing. Buffy tensed up as Xander sighed.

"Look Buffy. Spike. You should've just told me. It's no biggy". The blood had drained from Buffy's face now and she was as white as a sheet.

"What? Really?", Spike cut in.

Xander got up and skulked over to Spike, his legs stiff from sitting in the same position all night long, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you slept over at mine last night and I know why you lied".

Buffy tried to cover up the huge sigh of relief that escaped her lips.

"You don't need to be too proud to accept my humble hospitality vampire. You look like even more of an idiot when you're found out".

If Spike could breathe, he would've been choking on the dry air by now.

"Yeh. Well. Couldn't stand the thought of you knowing I was sponging off you could I?",

Spike rushed as he felt his old friend, panic, creeping up on him. Buffy felt the blood quickly returning and leaving her face again. For a moment there she actually thought Xander might accept her new relationship. Deep down she knew it was too good to be true. This made it harder than ever to tell him now...

* * *

Willow had lead Spike and Buffy outside to apologize a few minutes later.

"I'm sorry Buffy, I thought telling Xander Spike was elsewhere would help", Willow apologised for the 100th time.

Buffy grabbed her friend's hand and squeezed it tightly, not realising that her slayer strength was crushing it a little. Willow tried to flinch away without Buffy noticing.

"Will, it's okay already! You were only trying to help and hey, no harm done".

Willow wasn't convinced and still stood in the corridor pouring a little.

"I'm gonna need to start baking those guilt easing cookies again". Buffy chuckled.

"Now I come to think of it, that spell me and Spike were under all those years ago wasn't that bad!".

Willow's mouth suddenly dropped and she gawped at Buffy.

"You mean...you and Spike?!", Willow shouted a bit too loudly. Buffy's eyebrows shot straight up.

"God no Willow! It's only been a week! And keep you're voice down. He's only around the corner". Willow blushed in humiliation again.

"I'm gonna see if Xander...needs help with anything".

Within a matter of seconds after Willow had fled, Spike made his way from around the corner, a stupid grin stuck on his face.

"What's so funny?", Buffy asked as Spike arrived at her side. He shook his head slightly.

"Oh nothing. Just overheard what Red said that's all. Made me laugh". Buffy tried to hide her face but Spike pulled her hands away.

"Don't be like that love. Nothing to be ashamed of". She tried her best to look him in the eye but she found his stare repelling hers.

"I know. It's just...weird...thinking about it". The slayer saw hurt in his expression and quickly extended her explanation.

"Not that I'm against the idea! I've just never thought about long term commitment before. Not even when I was with Angel. Marriage is an..". She tried to think of an appropriate word.

"Alien concept to life has been all about slaying and apocalypses and frankly I never thought I'd ever be able to find someone after Angel. How wrong I was".

Spike had never known this tender side to her. No. He'd seen her like this with Dawn, her mother but he never ever imagined her being like this with him.

"Me neither pet. Maybe we can learn together"...


	16. Find Hunt Kill

**A/N: I know I am awful at updates I'm sorry. I've been really busy with exams and just life at the moment so I haven't had a lot of time to write. Thank you for being patient! :)**

**Just a quick question, is the story moving too slowly? Thoughts?**

* * *

A few hours later, Buffy had decided to throw herself into finding Illyria. She sat in the corner of Dawn's room, surrounded by papers. To her left, frame by frame CCTV images of Dawn's attack. To her right, police reports and files that Xander had managed to swipe. Someone owed him a few favours. However, what she was really focusing on was reported sightings of the wanted woman. There were more of these pages than anything else. Illyria had been spotted several times in Greece but luckily, not outside of the country. This filled Buffy with confidence that she might still be in reach. Spike was stunned to see the litter of papers smothered across the gleaming marble floor. He carefully trod round the evidence until he reached a clear spot next to Buffy and slid down the wall into it, being careful not to mess up any of her... 'work'. She barely noticed he was there as she continued to scan through the endless pages of notes. She wrinkled her brow and squinted as she powered through her excruciating headache. Spike reached both of his hands around Buffy's neck so he was able to get to her temples. He placed 2 fingers on either side of her forehead and she relaxed a little as they rotated gently.

"You've been at this for 6 hours straight. If you're gonna carry on for the rest of the day, you need to at least take a break". Buffy sighed and dropped the pile of papers she was reading.

"I've gotten nowhere. I need to carry on". Spike sighed and released the pressure on Buffy's temples causing her to moan as the pain flooded back.

"Is this what it's gonna be like for the next 50 years? Me using all my energy to try and get you to relax once in a while?".

"Good job you're a vampire and don't need energy".

The pair exchanged a grin but their smiles faded to 2 thoughtful but slightly worried looks. They knew exactly what each other were thinking. 50 years? Where would they be in 50 years? Buffy would be an old woman. Maybe still the slayer and Spike would still be...Spike. Not any older than he is today. Would he still be with her? Would he still love her? What would happen when she was too weak to fight as the slayer? There were so many unanswered questions about their future together. This was why a slayer/vampire relationship was impossible. But deep down, they both knew they didn't care about that. Making the most of what they had now was their priority. Spike began to pull Buffy closer and wrap his arms around her when Xander burst into the room causing even Spike to jump out of his skin. The pair leapt apart.

"God Harris, don't you knock before scaring us half to death?", Spike snapped.

"Someone's seen Illyria!", Xander cried. Buffy and Spike's attention was now completely focused on Xander.

"Someone alerted the police that they'd spotted her in Athens". Without a moments hesitation, Buffy jumped to her feet, shortly followed by Spike.

"Xander give me everything you know. Exact location, the person who saw her, everything. Me and Spike will drive to Athens. We'll be there in a couple of hours".

Xander nodded and fled the room quicker than at the speed he entered. Buffy began brushing the unessential papers into the corner of the room with her foot and swept up the important ones, creasing and tearing them slightly in the process. She almost knocked a vase off of a nearby table, trying to reach for a briefcase. She flung the catches open on the brown leather case and stuffed files of papers inside. Spike could only watch in amazement as Buffy didn't stop working for a second. When Buffy leant to her left a little, he took a peak into the case and found pictures of Illyria, old and recent, witness statements and was that even a lock of her hair? How she got that, he didn't know but what he did know was that this woman was obsessed.

"Love, we know where she is now. We don't need all this".

He gestured to the mountain of white, piling high now.

"We'll find her together". Buffy continued to work.

"But if we lose her again, we'll be back at square one and I'm not gonna let that happen", she panted.

Spike began to slowly stride towards her but she didn't seem to notice and continued rambling. Spike waited until her hands were clear of the case before he gently closed and locked it. She went to protest but knew that he was right.

"You're gonna drive yourself bloody insane if you look at all this -", he pointed to the paper carpet in the corner,

"- every time we hit a dead end", he continued.

"Illyria's never been on her own before. She has no idea where to go now that she's finished what she set out to do, hurt you".

It was obvious to Spike that things were clearer to her now.

"We'll find her"...

* * *

Buffy and Spike had both agreed to put him in charge of the files that they did need for her own sake and were now speeding along the busy roads, little more than a couple of backpacks with them. Spike kept pulling out his brick of a mobile and tucking it away again after a few seconds with one hand. The other was clamped firmly on the wheel. With the help of Willow and Xander, Spike had managed to calm Buffy down quite a bit.

"You got a date?", she sniggered. Spike glared and shook his head at her.

"Haha, you're funny slayer. Really. No, I'm expecting directions from Willow any time now actually". Buffy looked puzzled.

"To Athens? The capital of Greece?". An expression of embarrassment crept on to Spike's face.

"Well. It's been a few decades since I've been here and I..er...need reminding", he stuttered. Buffy wasn't convinced.

"You've never been to Greece before have you?". Spike looked shocked and tried his best to imitate a gawp.

"Pfft!". He tried to make a horrified spitting noise.

"Oh please! I'm almost 150 years old slayer, I've been almost everywhere. ESPECIALLY in Europe!".

Buffy pouted a little and couldn't resist teasing her boyfriend..again.

"Aw, is Spikey too proud to admit he has no idea where he's going?". Spike struggled not to react to her humiliating taunt.

"You really need to learn to not be so touchy because your just gonna give me more reasons to wind you up". Spike suddenly smiled mischievously.

"Well I think I have a solution to that problem", he teased. Buffy shook her head and folded her arms.

"Oh yeah?".

"Yeah. If I remember correctly, didn't I recently discover your ultimate weakness?". Buffy's smile started to fade and she looked the opposite away, her arms still folded tightly across her chest.

"I don't know what you mean", she murmured unconfidently.

"Oh, I think you do Summers".

Buffy realised the tables had been completely turned now. She'd hoped that he'd forgotten about the little incident the night before. Last night had been the first time she and Spike had slept together since Sunnydale. They'd made love in a completely different way than ever before and he'd uncovered a secret she'd kept from him for 7 years.

"So if you don't want to be tickled senseless later, I guess you take back everything you just said", he proposed.

Damn it. This was hard. She couldn't cave in and give Spike all the power back but at the same time, she was majorly ticklish and he knew exactly where her weak spots were. The back of her neck, her stomach and worst of all, her lower back. She sat in silence, considering the conundrum in her head.

"Okay. But just remember you brought this on yourself slayer". Buffy flicked her head around to him and went pale with panic.

"No fair! You gave me about 30 seconds to decide!".

"You don't get to make the rules love! My bargain, my terms".

"Maybe I'm a little biased because I enjoy watching you squirm but still..I gave you the option".

"A little biased my ass", she muttered.

"Now, now pet", he began, that seductive pout forming on his lips.

"There's no reason to get like that. I'll be fair and give you a head start tonight".

"Are you sure? We don't want you losing now do we?", she grumbled, sarcastically.

Spike was frustrated but also slightly turned on by her challenging him.

He widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Oh I won't".Spike was interrupted by a call.

He reached into his pocket to flip open the device but Buffy grabbed it from him.

"The last thing we need is a fine from the cops. We're poor enough as it is. It's probably only Willow. Anyway, you haven't got any girls calling you that I need to worry about right?".

Spike couldn't help but laugh.

"If you know me as well as you say you do, then I think you already know the answer to that question. Plus, the whole centuries old thing? It's a bit of a turn off don't you think?".

"Not to some..", she teased. Buffy had almost forgotten about the phone and quickly flipped it open.

"Hello?", she giggled.

"Has the weak female, that was surprisingly easy to defeat, regained consciousness yet?", the voice on the other end spoke.

The smile on Buffy's face completely vanished and she snapped the cell shut. Spike noticed Buffy's silence and got a glance of her expression. A mixture of anger, horror and desperation flooded her face. Spike didn't need to guess who it was. He just pushed the accelerator pedal down further...


	17. Unwanted Visitor

A/N: A fluffy but quite deep chapter in places. I wanted to do a longer chapter because I felt like I've been making you wait ages for updates and there hasn't been much content recently. STICK WITH ME READERS. I have thought up plenty of plot twists and the story will pick up soon :)

Enjoy!

* * *

After a few minutes of high speed driving and stony silence, Spike took the risk of mentioning Illyria.

"What did she say?".

Buffy didn't look away from the spot she had been staring at ever since hanging up the phone. Her ice white fists were clenched too tightly, looking as if the blood flow had slowed. They were resting in her tensed lap and were following the shaking motion of her legs as the shock had finally sunk in. Buffy still didn't answer and was only awoken from her trance when Spike rested his left hand on her arm. His voice seemed to become clearer as she refocused on her surroundings.

"Buffy?", he repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Huh?", Buffy repeated blankly.

"What did Illyria say to you on the phone?". Buffy paused again for a few seconds struggling to think back to even a few minutes ago.

"Erm..she asked..asked how..Dawn was", she stuttered.

"Anything else?", he continued. She shook her head quickly in frustration.

"No..erm no, it's was all too fast".

Spike knew when he had to back off. He fumbled in his pocket, looking for any sort of distraction and came across a packet of cigarettes that he'd bought back at Heathrow. There'd been so much going on, he'd forgotten the craving for nicotine. Realising how much he now wanted one, he flipped the carton open with one hand and slipped a death stick between his dry lips. He reached further into his pocket to find his lucky lighter that he'd got back in Italy with Dru in the 50's. A thick, cloudy smog filled the air and Buffy rolled down the window.

"Thought you'd stopped that for good?", Buffy asked. Spike withdrew the ciggy from his mouth and held it between 2 fingers, the rest of his hand, wrapped round the steering wheel.

"Sorry to disappoint you".

"How far away are we?", she grumbled as she quickly changed the subject.

"I dunno. I haven't got Willow's directions yet but I think I'm in the right direction. Maybe we should call her?", he suggested.

"Let's give her a little more time Spike. She's under a lot of pressure at the moment. She's expected not to mess up because she's the almighty powerful Wicca, plus she's still dealing with her separation from Kennedy".

A vibration in Buffy's hands startled her but she relaxed when Willow's name appeared on the phone screen. She opened the message revealing paragraphs of directions. After taking a few minutes to study the directions, Buffy looked slightly concerned.

"Uh..honey, have you been heading East?". Spike's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah..why?", he asked suspiciously.

"Because Athens is South of here"...

* * *

Buffy and Spike didn't arrive in Athens for another 12 hours after heading in completely the wrong direction. They didn't arrive until about 11am the following morning after driving all night. Buffy almost fell out of the car after stretching her legs properly for the first time in over half a day.

"Remind me never to take a long road trip across the country to track down some homicidal maniac ever again", Buffy yawned.

"Likewise".

Spike trod carefully, keeping in the shadows, as they made their way across a car park to a hotel. A miserable looking man awaited them at the front desk. A mop of brown hair was scruffily combed back on his head and his sea green eyes shone in the light, bringing out his features more. He had 3 hoop piercings on each ear and a silver lip one. He wore a fed up expression on his face even before they approached the desk.

"Hi", Buffy began when she reached the counter.

"Can we have a room for two please? Just for a couple of nights". Spike looked at her and mouthed

"Only a couple of nights?". Buffy leaned over to whisper in his ear. She's not gonna be that hard to track down is she?".

"You'd be surprised", he responded in an equally quiet tone.

"Definitely just 2?", the receptionist repeated impatiently. The boy was definitely not Greek.

"Yeh thanks", she snapped in annoyance at the boy's tone. The boy threw a key, with a woodblock key ring attached to it, across the surface towards them. The number 19 was scrawled on to the block in permanent marker.

"Room number 20. Enjoy your stay", he muttered.

"Thanks..."

As soon as they were out of sight in the upstairs corridor, Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed.

"God it doesn't kill people to show some manners once in a while. I'm the slayer, risking my life every day for the world including people like him and that doesn't stop me from being a decent human, being polite an -".

Buffy was interrupted by a sudden brush of Spike's lips on her own. She gladly responded, welcoming anything he had to offer. He was her lifeline at the moment. One of the few things keeping her going. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled so that they stumbled into a darkened corner of the hallway.

"You really couldn't wait a couple of meters until we were actually inside?", she panted as she gasped for air.

"Couple of meters is too long", he replied before closing his mouth around her neck. She lowered her hands to his waist and pulled him in closer, making Spike bite a little too hard on her neck. He jumped back as she yelped slightly.

"Shit! I'm sorry". Buffy brought her hand to the blunt teeth mark near her collar bone. The wound seemed to be bleeding quite a bit.

"It's okay", she replied not really focused on his apology.

"That hasn't happened...". He paused.

Spike tried to find the correct choice of words.

"...in a while". Buffy giggled slightly.

"You could say that". Spike removed her hand and placed his mouth over her wound, coating it in the healing balm of his saliva. Within a matter of seconds, the dents in her skin had healed over and the blood flow had stopped.

"It would've healed quickly without it you know". He faintly smiled.

"I know. But it was the least I could do".

They stood there for a few seconds, Spike's hand cupping Buffy's cheek when a sudden crash made them spin around. A door had been knocked down by a huge demon with brown wrinkly skin and horns twice the size of Buffy's arm that curved inwards. 2 fangs hung from it's mouth, sharp and ready to kill. The whole building shook as it thumped its way down the corridor towards them. Momentarily forgetting she was the slayer, he outstretched an arm in front of her to keep her back but she ducked under and launched herself at the ugly thing. She delivered a kick to it's face that would've shattered a regular human's skull but it resisted, grabbing her leg and throwing her into a wall. She fell to the floor after making a human sized dent in the plaster. Spike saw his chance while the demon was distracted and ran to it. He threw multiple punches at it's face and ducked as it retaliated. He went to go in again but the creature sunk it's teeth into his arm causing him to scream in agony. He fell back clutching his injury. The blood seemed to infuriate the demon more and began to run for Spike who was frantically shuffling back. The 3 meter tall demon roared as someone jumped on it from behind. Buffy rested on its shoulders as she put all her strength into decapitating the monster. With an all mighty tug, the head came clean off and flew backwards as Buffy chucked it over her head. She leaped off of the demon before it's body fell to the floor with an almighty thud. A breathless Buffy looked over to see Spike getting to his feet, still clutching his arm. She jogged over to him, immediately pulling his arm away from his chest to take a look at it. He mouthed an "ow" sound as she rolled up his sleeve.

"Great! Poncy bugger ruined my coat!". Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"I think that's the least of your worries right now. What you should be worrying about is this demon bite on your arm. I'll call Giles, see if he can bring us up to date with our demon friend here". She glanced over to the headless corpse. Buffy wandered down the corridor past the room with the ripped off door. The one to the left of it read 24 and the one to the right, 22.

"Spike. This was our room"...

* * *

The injured pair took a few seconds to let the news sink in.

"How did it know we were here?", Spike asked.

"Isn't it obvious? Illyria's onto us".

Spike shook his head.

"No. This isn't her style. She doesn't send lackeys to do her work for her".

"Well no one else knows we're here and wants to kill us. Plus, I hardly think it's coincidence that it was in our room". Before Spike could speak, Buffy had changed the subject.

"Anyway, we need to focus on getting patched up and getting some rest. I'll go see about getting a new room".

* * *

About half an hour later, Buffy and Spike had gotten a new room and were Skyping Giles in Scotland.

"I believe this demon to be called a Ravix", explained Giles.

"It may look like an intimidating thing but is generally very harmless". Spike held up his now bandaged wound to the camera.

"You call this harmless mate?".

"Well they very rarely get vicious with humans. It only usually happens when they're under the influence of someone. And when I say someone I mean no one human. It had to be a mixture of magic and the blood of it's prey that set it off. Did either of you have an open wound when entering the hotel?". Buffy and Spike exchanged an awkward glance.

"I may have cut myself", she lied. Buffy leant back against the headboard of the bed and sighed.

"Anyway, I told you Spike! It's gotta be Illyria", she snapped.

"It might not be! There are plenty of nasties out there that want you dead". Buffy stared at him in disbelief.

"I can't believe even now you're still defending her!".

"I'm not! I'm just saying, I know Illyria and this isn't her way of revenge! I don't want to follow a false trail when someone else could be after us!". Giles finally plucked up the courage to interrupt the warring pair.

"I'll investigate further but I think the best thing you two can do now is get some sleep". Buffy reluctantly nodded.

"One more question Rupy". Spike held up the bite again.

"Any side effects I should be wary of?". Giles shook his head.

"Not that I know of".

"Well that's one bit of good news around here at least".

"We'll speak to you soon Giles", Buffy yawned before closing the laptop.

She placed it on the table next to the bed before snuggling under the covers. Spike flicked off the lamp and joined her. He curled into her back and kissed her neck, where her sealed bite mark rested, before wrapping an arm around her waist.

* * *

A blanket of heat on her face awoke Buffy from her deep slumber. That and a yelp from Spike who had tried and failed to avoid the beam of sunlight that entered the room when he pulled back the curtain.

"Shit, shit, shit!", he cried, waving his burnt hand around.

Buffy finger combed her tangled hair back into a bun before going to the freezer and grabbing a handful of ice for Spike's hand. The vampire was sitting on the bed when she returned. She sat down next to him and gently picked up his hand. He flinched as she sprinkled the quickly melting slush onto his charred skin.

"Can't leave you alone for a second can I?". Spike laughed.

"I managed alright for a century didn't I?".

"I'm taking your word for it. I don't know for sure". Spike looked offended.

"Hey be careful, that's my legacy your mocking. Got a reputation to keep up ya know".

"Why? You 're not a psychopathic killer anymore".

"No. True. But I've got someone to protect now". Buffy started to blush and looked away from him.

"I know you're capable of taking care of yourself but I'm not gonna let my past put you in danger". Buffy wiped away the melted ice on Spike's wound and brushed his cold hand against her lips.

"I know you wont". She reached into the top drawer of the bedside cabinet and pulled a wrap of bandages out. She chucked them to him and leapt to her feet.

"Better hurry up if we're gonna catch up with Illyria before next year. You can bandage yourself right?", she asked with a cheeky smile.

"Don't think I have a choice love"...


	18. What Have You Done Now?

**A/N: Forgive me, I suck at writing Illyria's dialogue. No matter how much I watch Angel season 5...**

**Also, don't freak out halfway through this chapter when it looks like you've skipped a chunk because this is supposed to happen.**

* * *

Luckily, a few hours later, the clear blue had faded and a now slate grey sky blocked out the sun. Rain was falling from above now as Buffy and Spike made their way downtown towards the address Xander had given them. Hopefully this woman that they were about to visit would give them the information they needed to find Illyria.

The pair approached a bungalow hidden behind a forest of garden accessories and plants. They made their way up the barely visible path through the garden, stumbling over vines and nomes. They reached a jet black door with a creepy looking knocker that seemed to be staring at them. Buffy hesitantly knocked with the knocker and waited a few moments. There was no reply. Buffy bent her head round to look through the slightly transparent window into the porch.

"Looks like we'll have to try again later", Spike sighed. Buffy huffed in frustration when she heard a loud call from the gate to the garden. She spun around to see an elderly woman in a beige jacket and floral skirt waving at her. She had thin, curly locks and deep hazel eyes. She carried a bag over one arm and a walking stick in the other.

"Can I help you?, she asked in a croaky British accent.

"Erm, yeh. We're looking for Mrs Smith?", Buffy replied.

"Oh I see. Well you're in luck. That's me".

* * *

The woman had led Buffy and Spike inside and sat them down with a cup of tea each. Spike didn't do much but stare at the beverage, never being much of a tea fan. Being American, Buffy was more used to coffee but accepted the drink all the same. After a few minutes silence, Buffy decided to get straight to the point.

"Mrs Smith, I was told by a colleague that you had spotted a woman in this area of the City. She wore a sort of skinny bodysuit, had bright blue highlights in her hair and had some blue patches on her skin and lips?".

The elderly woman placed her cup down on the table in front of her and let out a deep sigh.

"I'll never forget her. I'd never seen anyone like her. The blue made her stand out immediately. I watched her for several minutes as she paced back and forth down an alley way. She disappeared very quickly but not before I saw her head into an abandoned building. I later saw a Police announcement about her being a wanted criminal and of course I alerted them right away". Buffy reached into her bag and frantically pulled out a pad.

"What was the address of this building?". The lady took a few moments to recall the address. Buffy and Spike thanked the woman and prepared to leave when she halted them in their tracks.

"May I ask, what she did?". Buffy slowly turned towards her and struggled to find words to describe what Illyria did to Dawn.

"She attacked my sister". She paused.

"There's no guarantee she'll wake up". The woman looked genuinely devastated for her. Spike gently brought a hand to Buffy's shoulder and began to lead her towards the front door.

"We need to go". She nodded and complied but not before spontaneously hugging the woman and thanking her for everything she'd done. A silent tear dripped down Buffy's cheek as she walked down the path towards the car. This went unnoticed by a focused Spike. At least now they were one step closer to being able to move on...

* * *

They reached the address given by Mrs Smith in a matter of minutes. The building that she described was very unique in the area being the only deserted one on the street.

"Buffy. Be careful". Spike suddenly broke the silence.

"She might have moved on by now. She's smart like that. Don't get your hopes up that she's here". Buffy ignored him and snuck into the seemingly unstable structure. She followed a narrow dark corridor that led up a flight of creaky stairs. There was only one door on the first floor this wasn't bolted shut. She waited for Spike to catch up with her before entering. They booth took fighting stances and Buffy kicked the door open. The room was only small. Very small in fact. It consisted of a sofa, a rickety table with a candle and a rusty lamp and a smashed television. There was no one there. Spike caught on to Buffy's crushed expression as they lowered their fists.

"Damn it", she mumbled.

Suddenly, Buffy fell to the floor. She was being pinned down from above. Spike leapt into action as a vicious Illyria had one hand holding Buffy's back down, the other too close to her neck for his liking. Fearing for Buffy's safety, he didn't think about how he would take her down and stupidly launched himself at her neck. So she could free her hands to grab Spike, Illyria continued to hold Buffy against the cold floorboards but with her feet as she jumped onto the slayer. Her crushing grip on Spike's throat would've killed anyone else but being a vampire, he managed to find the strength to knock her off balance so that they both tumbled to the floor. Illyria landed on top and held down Spike, so that not even he could escape this time, and reached for the flaming candle on the table. The flame was inches from his skin when a recovering Buffy snapped back the demon's arm with a crunch so that the candle toppled to the ground. The dry wooden floor boards were alight in seconds. With fire all around them now, Illyria blocked the only safe escape. Buffy was more concerned for Spike's safety than her own. He wouldn't be able to stand fire as long as she could. She threw off her coat and chucked it over his head and shoulders before he could protest and pushed him through the least flame affected area she could see. She could just about get a glimpse of his petrified face through the flickers of scorching orange after getting rid of the burning fabric. Illyria didn't seem to care that she was almost touching the fire and didn't take her eyes of Buffy.

"You really should've thought about what a big mistake you were making before you touched my sister". Illyria looked amused and tilted her head, her huge blue eyes chilling Buffy to the core in the middle of the unbearable heat.

"And why's that?", she replied.

"No mortal human has ever dared challenge me".

"Maybe that's why you think you're so invincible. Because you've never faced someone willing to sacrifice everything to take you down". Illyria's look of amusement turned to anger now.

" I will end you and the half breed where you stand", she bellowed. Buffy clenched her fists and brought them to her chest.

"Bring it on bitch"...

* * *

Buffy awoke with a gasp as she struggled for air. She felt someone lift her to a seating position but it was still too bright to see anything. Once she had focused, the first thing she noticed was smoke pouring from the abandoned building which was now in front of her. She came to the conclusion that she was in the street when she felt a rush of wind. The first thing she heard was a distant siren, echoey and disoriented, followed by a moan from behind her. A shadow appeared and blocked out her view of the smoke. She struggled to focus on something so close yet so didn't see much choice but to reach out and touch it. She just about made out a sigh and a hand touched her own before the shadow grew bigger and a pair of lips were on hers. She knew his kiss anywhere. She just managed to splutter out the word 'Spike' before choking again. She guessed that smoke inhalation was to blame since her throat and lungs felt dry and clogged up and she was only in a burning building a few minutes ago. At least it felt like a few minutes ago. Spike followed her upwards as Buffy pulled away from his support and leant forward.

"Where's..Illyria?", she croaked.

"She's gone".

Buffy suddenly couldn't care less about her incapability to see straight or sit up. She stumbled to her feet, almost falling straight back down if it wasn't for Spike. Knowing he would've stopped her, she pulled away from his grip and stood up, swerving left and right as she struggled to keep her balance. Her head pounded from a mixture of a concussion and getting up too quickly, her vision was blurred and her hearing muffled. She had no idea where she was going or what she hoped to achieve but all she could think about was running. Running away from here. Running in the hope of finding or doing something right for once. She'd failed Dawn when it really mattered and couldn't let it happen again. A loose paving stone in the ground tripped her up and she fell onto all fours. Now that she was down, she couldn't muster the strength to get back up. Not because of her physical state this time but because she was so overwhelmed by tears. Her hearing was improving slowly but surely and she could hear things from a longer distance now. Spike was just down the street calling her name as he caught up with her. She felt his arms encircle her waist as she made no effort to pull away from him this time. Her face was soon buried in his cool chest when he picked her up and started to walk. She wasn't sure what happened next as she cried herself to the point of absolute exhaustion.

* * *

The colour blue. Screaming. Blood. These were the things that began to come to her in her dreams. They didn't mean anything at the moment. They were just feelings. Slithers of memories. A cackle brought her back to reality. She jumped awake into a sitting position, gripping the sheets tightly. A pair of hands were there immediately, one cupping her cheek and the other stroking her hair. She breathed heavily but slowly, the horrors of her dreams plaguing her every thought. Out of all the heartbreak and misery that she'd been through in the last 9 years of being the slayer, she'd never felt as helpless or as numb as she did right now. She couldn't hunt down the thing that had threatened the life of her baby sister, she couldn't do anything for Dawn, she was separated from her closest friends and now she was being beaten down and defeated everywhere she turned.

"Hey", whispered that comforting British accent.

"Hey", she panted back, her eyes scanning every inch of the room for danger. They were back in their hotel room. It might not have been the most glamorous place they'd stayed in but there was something soothing about it. Maybe it was the fact that she knew Spike was always close around here. She wasn't sure. He was sat on the side of the bed, relief flooding his face. The mirror on the wall opposite showed that her hair was still in it's messy bun and she was wearing her favourite strapped summer top that she loved to lounge in but more noticeably, her face was covered in purple blotchy bruises and pinky red cuts. Illyria must've beaten her pretty badly. Just in front of her temple, she had stitches sewn in. Spike's handy work by the looks of it. Everything was still so mixed up. One minute she was squaring up to Illyria, the next she was lying on the street by the burning building and now safe back at the hotel.

"I'm sure you've had less injuries in the 7 years than in the past week", he joked trying to lighten the mood. He stretched to a smile but Buffy didn't seem to notice, still looking severely shaken. She started to shuffle closer to him and he got the message that she wasn't in the mood for talking about it right now. He pulled back the covers and crawled in next to her, putting one arm under her head and the other firmly around her waist. She snuggled in to him, taking in his bittersweet scent and closing her eyes. Maybe she'd finally be able to get some uninterrupted rest now...


	19. Deteriorating

A few days had passed and as much as Buffy wanted to get back out there to find Illyria, Spike had insisted that she take it easy for a while. Her physical injuries were completely healed but mentally and emotionally she'd only been deteriorating. To make matters worse, she thought she was coming down with something. Being stuck in a hotel room for 4 days straight wasn't the most exciting thing in the world so time went very slowly. Of course Spike never left her side no matter how many times she insisted that he take care of himself. She spent most hours trying to sleep. Trying to shut out what she was feeling but at the same time desperately trying to remember what the 3 things floating around her head really meant. Blue. Screaming. Blood. Whenever she was close to recalling something she'd jolt awake, thinking she was back in that burning building. Spike was nearly always there at her side. If he wasn't, he was only in the other room. As soon as he heard the quietest of sheet ruffles, he'd be in there as quick as a flash to check on her.

* * *

Buffy sat at a table in the corner of the bedroom/living room/kitchen, chasing cereal around a bowl with a spoon. She snapped out of her daydream when Spike joined her. She combed her hair off of her face and forced a smile.

"Hey", she said.

"Hey".

"You feeling better today?".

"Sort of", she lied.

"Good. Because we've got a visitor today", he explained as he got to his feet before helping Buffy to hers. She looked alarmed.

"Who?".

"Only Willow. We haven't exactly kept in contact with her and Xander recently so she was pretty worried".

"I don't want her to see me like this. I'm a mess".

"She's not gonna care Buffy. She just wants to know you're okay. Besides, you're bloody gorgeous no matter what". Buffy gave him a flattering smile but became frustrated the more she thought about what was wrong with her.

"How can Willow know what's wrong with me when I don't even know? I hate feeling like this day in day out and not being able to fix it".

Spike gripped her hand tightly.

"Once upon a time I would've told you that I was completely the wrong guy for giving advice but here goes. I think you just need time. You've been through a hell of a lot in the past couple of weeks let alone the last 9 years". Buffy repeated the word to herself, hoping that somehow it would help.

"Time".

"Willow's gonna be here soon".

"Yeah".

* * *

Buffy stared at herself in the mirror. It was the first time she'd been properly dressed in days. She was wearing a plain white wooly jumper with a simple pair of denim skinny jeans. She hadn't paid too much attention to her hair. She'd washed, dried and brushed it but hadn't styled it like she usually did. The foundation wasn't working as much as she'd hoped on her pale skin and the dark rings under her eyes were barely covered. She fiddled with the sweater and smoothed down the crinkled jeans. Her slippers weren't very flattering but that was the least of her problems. Not looking away from the mirror, she noticed a chair being pulled out from the table by thin air. She was shocked at first but then the realisation of what was really happening sunk in. She slowly turned around to see Spike slumped in the seat watching her with a mischievous grin. She glared at him.

"Don't scare me like that. You know I'm never gonna get used to it". She couldn't help but break into a fit of laughter and tried to hide her face. Spike got to his feet and started playing with her hair.

"What's brought on the sudden mood change love?", he joked. She wrapped her arms around his waist and gently laid her head on his shoulder.

"I think ever since you mentioned Willow was coming over. It'll be nice to see a new face". Spike raised an eyebrow and Buffy quickly flung her head up so she could meet his eye, still keeping her arms firmly around him.

"Not that I have a problem with yours. Or a problem with you being here. It's just...Willow's that person that you sometimes need around. Everyone needs a Willow". Spike smiled tenderly at her, still combing his fingers through her shiny hair.

"Well luckily for you she's arriving head of schedule. In about 15 minutes actually". Buffy's eyes widened.

"Seriously? I thought she wouldn't be here until at least this evening". Spike thought for a moment.

"Let's just say, Red's not one to disappoint. More like surprise".

"I suppose". Buffy leant back on to Spike's shoulder and closed her eyes. He gently rocked her from side to side. Buffy caught a glimpse of the bandages that concealed Spike's bite wound. They were new. She pulled away from him but guided his arm towards her.

"I thought this had healed?", she questioned. Spike looked embarrassed.

"Not yet but it will. Besides, I had you to look after". She quickly unwrapped it before he had time to protest and the state of it shocked her. The puncture marks still hadn't healed over and a huge red rash had spread around it. He flinched as she gently brushed her fingers over it.

"I didn't know vampires could get infected wounds", she asked, still examining it.

"Neither did I. It might not even be an infection".

"We've still got a few minutes before Willow gets here. I'll call Giles about it". Spike sighed and followed after her.

"It's probably nothing and I know the watcher's busy. Don't worry about it".

"I'm not taking any chances with you", she called back. Spike thought back to when he took her to the hospital after their car 'accident'. He recalled telling her that he wasn't taking any chances either after she refused to go into hospital at first. He rewrapped his injury whilst listening into Buffy's panicked conversation with Giles. She was back in minutes.

"He says he'll get straight onto it but he might not know for a while. In the mean time he's advised you not to do anything out of the ordinary ". Spike gave her a blank look.

"And that means?". Buffy raised her lower lip.

"I'm guessing he means nothing that a human wouldn't do. Shouldn't be too hard if we stay indoors all day", she stated in a suggestive tone. Spike's eyes widened.

"Thought I was injured. Can't be too rough with me", he smirked.

"Who said anything about being rough?". He liked the sound of this. They were slowly approaching each other now.

"Well now you mention it, I'm can think of plenty of things to keep us occupied", he continued, still in a suggestive tone. Buffy grinned as he caught her belt loop with his finger and pulled her in. He kissed her deeply but tenderly and the pair soon forgot about their imminent visitor. They jumped apart when there came a knock at the door. Buffy quickly straightened out her hair and jumper again before unlocking the door and opening it to a smiling Willow.

"Hey!", she cried and pulled Buffy into a huge hug. She soon withdrew when she remembered the nature of her visit.

"Sorry about the crushing hug. I'm just really glad you're okay", she whispered. Buffy pulled a slightly shocked Willow back in to an embrace but she soon returned the hug again.

"I'm so glad you're here Will". After a few seconds, Buffy pulled away and led Willow into the small apartment. Spike was stood back, hands in his pockets. He gave Willow a friendly grin but didn't expect her reaction. She ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. Buffy looked at the witch, puzzled, but assumed her reaction was due to her continued excitement about them being together finally.

* * *

After the initial joy about being reunited had faded, the couple sat down with Willow and informed them about everything that happened. From Illyria calling them on the way to Athens, to Buffy being sick the past few days. The Wicca was shocked that so much had happened in less than a week. Buffy waited a few seconds before asking about what was really on her mind. She was pretty sure that she wouldn't get the answer she was looking for.

"How's Dawn?". Willow looked at the floor.

"Still the same. I'm sorry I couldn't bring you better news". Buffy forced herself to put on a smile.

"Well at least she's not any worse". Willow nodded. Buffy noticed something about her expression. She seemed a little..off. Like she couldn't put her finger on something. She sat there, not moving for several seconds before she suddenly started talking again.

"Buffy, can I talk to you for a second?", Willow squeaked. Buffy looked concerned.

"Sure?". Willow jumped up and led Buffy to the bathroom. There wasn't much space to go anywhere else. She gently shut the door behind them before leaning against it and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm not sure how to put this but...Buffy are you okay?". Buffy stared at her.

"Erm yeh? I think so. I haven't been in the best of states these past few days and I think I might be getting sick but apart from tha -".

"No it's not that", Willow interrupted. Buffy gave her a funny look.

"I mean I know you've been pretty down but that's not what I'm sensing".

"Wait, what? What do you mean sensing? What are you sensing?".

"There's just something different around you. It's not a bad feeling. It's just different. Nothing I've ever felt before and I've been around you when you've been upset and sick plenty of times". Buffy was seriously confused.

"Is there any way you can find out because I've got a hell of a lot to deal with at the moment and I don't really want to be worrying about unidentified things surrounding me that I don't know about".

"Well unless I feel it around someone else and can confirm what it is, I can't be sure". Buffy looked disappointed.

"But I can try and figure it out. I'll need to ask you questions about things like what you've been doing recently and where you've been". Buffy nodded.

"Yep. Sure".

"So..have you been anywhere out of the ordinary recently? Maybe places with different air content for example?". Buffy thought back for a moment.

"Erm, there was the burning building I was trapped in with Illyria? I blacked out, not sure for how long, and I don't know what happened in between".

"Is there anyone who knows who does?". Buffy opened the door a fraction to see Spike leaning out of the window with a cigarette.

"Only Spike. I haven't asked and he hasn't talked about it since it happened. But I don't want him worrying about this. It might be nothing and I know what he can be like".

"Isn't it better to make sure? I mean you wanted to know"...


	20. The Impossible Miracle (Part 1)

A\N: Sorry if this chapter is a bit heavy. I hope Buffy doesn't seem too out of character at the moment. It'll all be made clear at the end of the chapter if you haven't figured it out already.

I haven't received many reviews lately so please do review! I gladly acceot constructive critisicm. Also, I've checked the amount of views recently and the numbers have steadily declined from well over 1000 in the first chapter to just over 30 in the newest chapter. Improvements please guys! :)

Again, thanking ginar369 for their consistasnt reviews!

* * *

Willow had decided to leave about half an hour later, recognising the fact that as soon as they had come out of the bathroom, Spike had been indirectly digging for information about what she had told Buffy. At the door, Buffy pulled Willow in for one last hug.

"I'm only at the end of the phone if you need anything".

"Thanks Will".

Willow glanced to see if Spike was looking but lowered her voice anyway.

"And if you change your mind about finding out about this 'thing' that you think is nothing, I'm there too". Buffy sighed.

"If it's anything major, I'm sure I'll find out in due course but for now". She paused and leant against the door.

"I have enough on my plate", she continued. Willow rolled her eyes and started down the corridor.

"You're in denial!", she mouthed as she backed down the corridor.

"You keep telling yourself that Will!", she yelled as she giggled.

Spike was immediately behind her as soon as she'd closed the door and turned around. He slunk an arm around her hips, making it impossible for her to get away, and began to lean towards her.

"Now where were we?", he growled. Buffy laughed but gently pushed him away.

"Not now".

Spike retreated but didn't let go of her waist.

"You were up for it earlier?".

"Yeah well that was before -".

She halted in her tracks. Spike did let go of her waist this time.

"Before Willow said something to you? ".

Buffy looked slightly embarrassed and tried to avoid his gaze.

"I knew she'd said something to you. What's going on? If it's serious, shouldn't I know?".

"Only problem is, me and Willow don't have any idea either. She says she senses something..'off' about me but she doesn't know what it is and I thought, hey, what's the point in worrying about something that could be nothing so no biggy".

Buffy swerved around him, frustrated, and headed towards the bed. She dropped herself onto it, wrapping her arms around herself.

"This isn't the first time we've ignored Red and she's turned out to be right".

Buffy leant onto her knees, resting her head in her hands.

"Don't you think if something was wrong with me, I'd have some sort of feeling about it?", she snapped.

Apart from having turned to face her, Spike didn't move from the position that Buffy had left him at by the door. He stood with his arms crossed, staring just above Buffy's head.

"No. Something's not right here. The Buffy I knew wouldn't just sit back to see if things blew over. She'd solve it. So tell me why you're sitting back -".

"Because I can't afford for anything else to go wrong!", she cried.

She used all her willpower to stop herself from letting the tears take over. She couldn't do this every time the going got tough. Like Spike had said, she'd been through so much worse and had kept it together before. What was so different this time? She kept coming back to the conclusion that it was to do with Dawn brinking on the edge of death but then hadn't that been the case when Glory was after her? She couldn't be what Dawn needed her to be right now and that was slowly breaking down the small pieces that she felt was left of her. Spike was blown away by her decleration. He really didn't realise how much she was cracking under the pressure of everythng. He assumed the last few days were down to a combination of illness and low morale from being beaten by Illyria again. Now he knew something else was definitely causing her to be so fragile. All he wanted to do was to go over there and wrap his arms around her, telling her that everything would be be okay but from the look on her face, he made the difficult decision not too. She didn't want any more comfort.

* * *

The next week wasn't any different. Buffy was still as sensitive and weak plus she had been sick for longer than a slayer should be. She still hadn't found the will to leave the hotel or to find out what was wrong with her. Spike didn't know what he could to do help her anymore. She refused to help herself and had forbidden him from doing anything about it either. She mainly asked him to just sit with her and watch over here. He began to grow more and more desperate and even contemplated contacting Willow.

Buffy was sleeping, like she spent most days doing, with Spike not far from her side, when suddenly, the phone started to ring. It was Giles. Buffy was brought round by the buzzing from the table next to her. She wriggled out of Spike's arms, who when she looked a few seconds later had fallen asleep too. She reached the cell with the tips of her fingers and dragged it nearer to her so that she could grip it properly.

"Hello?"

"Buffy, its Giles. I've done some more research on this Ravix Demon".

"One sec", she yawned before rolling onto her other side. She tapped Spike's chest gently a few times and he emerged from unconsciousness. She held her hand over the base of the device and whispered Giles' name. Spike groaned and heaved himself up to a sitting position against the headboard, rubbing his deep pools of sky blue. Buffy followed after putting Giles on speaker.

"Yep?", Buffy beckoned, still half asleep.

"I looked more into the side effects of it's bite and the informastion was inconclusive".

Spike sighed, examining his still wrapped up wound. The wound hadn't gotten any worse but neither had it gotten any better. The teeth marks were still wide open and the rash, now covering a smaller area, had gotten redder. He wasn't sure whether this was a positive thing or not.

"But then I decided to look into the mythology of the creature and something did fit the injury's description".

Spike shuffled uncomfortably.

"Legend has it that the Ravix's bite brings life to where there is none. Somer people consider it a gift".

Spike and Buffy both looked fully awake now. Giles continued before they could get a word in edgeways.

"It's never been known to restore someone fully but many undead have been bitten and aspects of them have had human properties. For example, I assume Spike's wound is taking longer to heal like a human's. Can you tell if any other part of Spike has been affected?"

Too much information had come at once, leaving the pair shocked, speechless and Buffy quite dizzy. Wait. No. The dizziness wasn't down to that. She felt an odd sensation at the pit of her stomach. Before she knew it, she was running to the bathroom, skidding to a halt at the toilet. Spike abandoned Giles on the other line and rushed after her. She'd had headaches and nausea but this was the first time she'd been physically sick. He held back her hair even though she tried and failed to usher him away, not wanting him to see this. After about 20 seconds of unpleasantness, Buffy fell back from her feet, onto the floor. Her back smacked against the wall with a thud as she collapsed in exhaustion. Her face dropped into her hands as she began to breathe heavily. Spike ran a glass of water from the tap and held it out to her. She took a while to look up but when she did, there was a huge difference in her appearence than there was a few minutes ago. A sweat had built up all over her face , mainly on her brow. Purple bags were beginning to form under her eyes. Her once perfectly pink lips were now dry and chapped and had lost all colour. Her skin was almost sheet white and she could barely keep her eyes open.

"There's throwing up..and there's whatever that was. That wasn't normal", Buffy croaked before gulping down mouthfuls of water to sooth her dry throat.

"Well we can't say we weren't expecting it sooner or later love. You've been like this on and off for over a week".

She placed all of her weight onto the side of the bath as she struggled to get to her feet, dizziness and double vision still overcoming her. Spike's arm hovered behind her back just in case but she managed to make her way back over to the bed. The pair had forgotten poor Giles on the end of the phone who was oblivious to what had gone on. Hearing voices again, Giles decided to try and call out to them for the hundredth time.

"Hello? Buffy? Spike? Is everything alright?".

"Think so. Being sick sucks", Buffy moaned.

There was a pause from Giles.

"Sick? Physically sick or just ill?", he questioned.

"Erm...only physically sick in the last few minutes. Why?", she replied suspiciously.

Giles tread onwards more seriously now, ignoring Buffy's questions.

"How long have you been sick and what are your symptoms?".

Buffy and Spike shared a look of complete confusion.

"Roughly 2 weeks. Headaches, nausea, really weird mood swings but Giles can you please explain what's going on here?".

Buffy was really panicking now. What was going on? What was he saying? More stony silence echoed down the phone but there was a longer gap now.

Buffy picked up the cell and brought it closer to her mouth.

"Giles, please!"

She spun around to Spike again who didn't look as confused now. He couldnt take his eyes off the spot on the bed where the phone was before Buffy had picked it up which made her think that something had dawned on him a while ago. Giles finally spoke after what seemed like hours.

"Buffy is-". He paused.

Still oblivous, Buffy rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Just spit it out Giles! Whatever it is!".

"Is your cycle late?".

She froze. She couldn't think about anything else other than Giles' words playing over and over and over in her head. She was sure she heard Spike let out a huge breath, even though he didn't need to breath, when she assumed Giles confirmed what he feared.

"Oh", she squeaked.

"But. But that's n-not possible", she stuttered.

Buffy sunk back into a pillow trying to digest the information.

"It is if you've been bitten by a bloody great demon who turns parts of you human and when I say parts I think you know what I mean", he explained, hints of anger in his voice.

"Oh god".

Buffy turned onto her front and buried her head in a pillow.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god", she repeated.

Giles coughed, subtly making his presence known again.

"You can't be 100% positive until you get tested of course but..."

Buffy turned back over onto her back again.

"But it looks that way", she finished off.

Spike hadn't moved. His fingers dag into the covers and his 'breathing' was heavy.

"I'll talk to you later Giles".

With that, she snapped the phone shut.

She lay on the bed for a few minutes, avoiding Spike's gaze. She didn't know what to do next. What to say. How to act. It was one of the few situations that neither of them had been in before. Spike was avoiding her gaze as much as she was avoiding his. The ticking of the clock and the odd beeping of a horn outside were the only noises they heard for the next 5 minutes. Suddenly, Buffy jumped up and grabbed a pair of pumps by the table and slipped them on before grabbing a coat and the spare key to the room.

"Where are you going?". She was kind of relieved to hear his voice again but that didn't relieve the stress that was still very much built up inside her.

"Where do you think? We have to be sure"...

* * *

**A\N: CLIFFHANGER! I had this storyline idea ever since the demon bit Spike and thought it would really shake things up in the middle of the Illyria\Dawn situation. What do you all think? I love hearing from you!**


	21. The Impossible Miracle (Part 2)

It had been about 20 minutes since Buffy had left and Spike was no calmer. He'd spent about the the last 15 pacing up and down the apartment.

"How long does it take to pick up a bloody pregnancy test?", he muttered to himself. He kept thinking about how he reacted in front of Buffy. He couldn't help but feel bad about sounding so angry at points. He wasn't at all supportive towards her when she was probably more shocked than he was. She was the one dealing with all the shit over the past few weeks not knowing what was causing her mood swings or how to deal with them. Now learning that she might have to take on even more responsibility...

He kicked a chair after overthinking things too much. Then there was the matter of what if she was pregnant? They'd been together a matter of weeks and neither of them had ever thought it possible let alone contemplated or prepared for being parents. Spike recognised Buffy's footsteps along the hall outside. Oh god, what did he do? The way he acted earlier, she wasn't gonna want him anywhere near her when she found out. It seemed like it took a lot longer for her to reach the door than any other time she'd been out. Maybe it was just his perception of time because of the current circumstances. However, the key turned quickly in the lock and she walked in and closed the door even quicker. Buffy carried a small single carrier bag. Spike didn't know whether to apologise to Buffy now or let her be and give her the space she needed.

"Hey", he blurted out without thinking.

She rested against the door, gripping the bag tightly.

"Hey", she replied with a half hearted smile.

"Know you're busy with the test and all but I wanted to apologise for being a total wanker earlier".

She looked to the floor and ignored him for a minute before forcing herself to look him in the eye.

"It's okay. We were both in shock".

"Not an excuse love. Anyway, I'll just let you..".

He pointed to the bag.

"What do you mean? I'm not doing this on my own?", she demanded.

She looked like she'd been slapped in the face.

"Thought you might wanna find out first".

Buffy struggled to find words.

"Why would you say that? This won't be just my child. I won't be the only one involved in it's life. We'll have created this baby together so of course I want us to find out together! How heartless do you think I am? I don't wanna push you out!".

Spike felt even more awful. Nothing he was saying at the moment seemed to make things better.

Buffy walked towards him and squeezed his hand tightly. It was the closest they'd been to being loving in a week.

"I love you and whether this result is positive or negative, that's not gonna change".

She let go before heading towards the bathroom.

"I'll be out a minute"...

Spike's fingers were sore from tapping on the wood of the bed for so long. He was sitting on the edge of the matress, hands supporting his weight as he leant forward, head hanging over the floor. He wasn't sure how long Buffy had been in the bathroom. He thought keeping count would make it feel longer. Within a couple of minutes, Buffy had emerged not taking her eyes off the blue and white stick that she was carrying in her hands. Spike flung his head up as soon as he heard the door creak and took a huge gulp of air. She joined him on the edge of the bed, her hands shaking around the test.

"2 minutes to go", she signed.

Spike made her put down the test and hide it from view so that she wasn't tempted to look too early. He brought her hands to his lap and knotted his fingers with hers.

"For what it's worth, whether it's in a few months or not, you'll make a great mum one day".

Buffy didn't know whether Spike was just saying this because of their current situation but she smiled all the same.

"My main job has been to kill things for the last 9 years, I'm not exactly the perfect role model for a kid".

"No. Maybe not but look how you stepped up to the responsibility of raising Dawn. Even looking after the junior slayers counted. You may not think you're ready but I've gotta feeling it'll come to you naturally".

Buffy smiled again. She never knew, maybe one day she might.

"You think it's time?", he reminded.

Buffy squeezed his hands tighter when she realised it just might be. She reached under the covers from where she'd hidden it. Without looking at it, she passed the test over to him.

"This is one of the smallest things I've ever had to do but I dont think I can do it".

"Buffy, not to scare you or anything pet but this isn't small. This is a huge deal. Something that'll impact the rest of your life".

"I know I'm gonna sound like a complete coward but...can you read it out?". Spike nodded, slightly trembling himself. Buffy looked in the opposite direction as Spike glanced at the result.

"You know how to read it yeah?", she asked, still refusing to look round.

"I may be 100+ years old love but I think I know the difference between a plus and a minus sign", he replied.

Buffy took a series of deep breathes before Spike made another move. She felt him place a hand on her stomach so she slowly turned around towards him. She grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards her so that she had a clear view of the test that he was holding. A pink plus sign stared her in the face. She felt both terror and joy. Panic and relief.

"Guess it's gonna be sooner rather than later then love".

Buffy's sudden burst of laughter soon turned into a combination of tears as well. Her mothering instinct had suddenly kicked in. Spike pulled her into his arms and held her tighter than he had done in nights. She threaded her arms around his torso, spilling salty droplets onto his shirt.

"Don't have to talk about it anymore tonight if you don't want to love. We're both in shock", he whispered into her hair.

"Mm hmm", she mumbled.

Spike, still holding her, gently laid her down. He brought a pillow down from the head of the bed for her. Spike lay on the right side of her, leaning on his elbow to keep upright. Buffy rolled over to her right too and curled up in to Spike. He put his arms further around her frame when she shivered.

"Can you talk to me please?", she asked in her soft voice.

"What about love?".

"Anything. Just wanna hear your voice".

"Ermm. What do ya wanna do tomorrow pet?".

She gently shrugged, her eyes still firmly shut.

"Know it's not too exciting but we gotta go shopping".

Buffy let a muffled laugh escape.

"Never thought I'd say that. Part of me's never gonna get used to settlin' down. Wouldn't change it for the world though".

"Don't we have food left in?", she asked not really taking on board Spike's last comment.

"Yeah...but you're eating for 2 now aren't ya?".

He lifted an arm and gently traced the reachable area of her clothed stomach with his fingers.

"Spike. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure love".

"When you first realised I might be pregnant, what was the first thing that went through your mind?".

Spike thought about it for a moment, starting to stroke Buffy's hair.

"Honestly? Couldn't think. Just remembered feeling...excited in a way". Buffy's face reappeared from Spike's chest.

"Really?".

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Really"...

For the first time in what had felt like months, Buffy had a perfect night of undisturbed sleep. No nightmares or disturbing memories. She slept for over 12 hours straight, not blinking an eye lid. Spike felt compelled not to shift position all night, worrying that he might wake her. It was about 9am the following morning when she woke. Spike was already awake, watching over her carefully. She tossed and turned for a few seconds before her eyelids fluttered open. She squinted as the daylight blinded her before she could adjust. She was turned away from Spike but she could feel one of his arms straightened out underneath her head. His icy cool skin was a relief from the soaring heat that was trapped in the room. It didn't help that she was still wearing the jumper from yesterday. Oh how quickly the weather changed. Not realising Spike was awake, she lifted herself up and tried to slide off of the bed but she was soon interrupted by Spike's arm around her waist, pulling her back to him. A huge grin spread across her face and she gladly followed his direction.

"Morning", she whispered once she was back in her old position but this time facing him.

His eyes were closed, but a heartwarmingly happy smile was placed on his lips.

"Morning love".

His eyes did open when he felt Buffy's body weight shift to on top of him. She bent her head lower and placed her lips fully on his. There had been small hints of affection here and there over the last week but Buffy being the way she was, the dynamic hadn't exactly been the same between them. He didn't blame her at all but he had missed the way they were before. His left hand moved up from her hips to the small of her back and his right up into her hair. Hers lingered on the sides of his ribcage. Spike removed his hands from both Buffy's hair and waist and his fingers began to trace her back. They curved round to her stomach and pushed up her jumper to gain access to her soft skin. He gently but quickly switched their places so that he was in control now. She arched her neck giving him the perfect angle to lean in. His lips left hers and he began to carefully nip at her neck, being wary of what had happened in the hotel corridor a couple of weeks ago. She gasped as he slowly moved his hands upwards, past her ribs, along her sternum. Suddenly the phone rang, it's high pitch screaming scaring both Buffy and Spike. Sighing, Spike removed his hands, allowing her to horizontally shuffle on her front towards the left side of the bed. The cell lay face down on the floor where it must've fallen last night. She reached down to pick it up and read the caller ID. Of courser it was Giles. He was probably still fretting about last night. She began to shuffle backwards on her elbows, lifting her legs over Spike's. She flipped the phone open.

"Hello?", she chirped.

"Buffy! Thank god! I was trying to contact you all night!".

Buffy felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over her. Spike eyed a patch of uncovered skin on her back and couldn't resist teasing her a little. She tried to hold back a little moan from his touch and kicked him, reminding him to behave.

"Yeah, sorry Giles. It was a bit of night".

There was an awkward pause.

"So...have you found out for sure?", he asked.

Buffy looked a bit lost before it dawned on her what he meant. She'd almost forgotten that he was the one who alerted them of the possibility. "Oh yeah, right...", she began as she got to her feet.

She wandered to the front door before continuing their conversation. Giles was like a father figure to her so of course she was nervous about telling him and how he would react.

"Well, I got a test last night a-and..well..I'm pregnant". Another one of the many long silences of the last couple of days took place then.

"Congratulations", he finally got out.

Buffy smiled and relaxed a little.

"Thank you. It's been a huge shock to all of us but".

She paused and looked at a smiling Spike.

"I think it's what we want".

"I've never said anything before but I think you'll make a wonderful mother Buffy".

That was all she needed to hear.

"Giles, when are you free next? It'd be great to see you again".

"Ah yes, that was another thing I wanted to mention. I'm visiting Xander, Willow and Dawn in the next couple of days. I don't know if you'd be interested in coming over?".

Buffy began to get excited.

"Yes! Definitely!", she cried.

"Perfect. I'll let them know".

"Okay. I'll see you soon Giles".

She quickly hung up the phone and placed it on the main table before running over to Spike like she was a giddy teenager again. She clambered on to Spike again, knocking him down into a lying position again, and showered him with kisses.

"What's..got..you..so..perky..pet?", he mumbled in between kisses.

She stopped kissing him to catch her breath but she didn't move from her position.

"Giles is coming to Greece in a few days. I won't be gone long", she explained as she prepared to get up and start packing but Spike sat up and held her in his lap. She rested her hands on his shoulders as she gave him a confused look.

"You think I'm stayin' here and lettin' you run off across Greece on your own?".

"I thought maybe you weren't done here. Done with Illyria".

Spike held her against him tighter.

"I've got more important things to worry about".

He brushed his hand against her stomach for at least the 4th time in 15 minutes.

"Just when I think it's impossible to love you anymore more". Spike wore a seductive smile.

"Thought you knew I was full of surprises by now"...


	22. Recovery?

**A/N: It feels like a lot longer than 3 days since my last update! I know this chapter is a lot shorter than my others but I really thought that leaving the end of the chapter at this point was the best thing to do. Don't worry, there'll be an update soon! **

* * *

It only felt like yesterday that they were driving to Athens and now they were on their way back to the hospital. Since they were setting off early, Spike wasn't sure that Buffy should be spending too much time away from either a toilet or a sink but she had no doubt in her mind that she would make it to see Giles one way or another. Even if that meant going as far as keeping a bucket with her in the car. Halfway through their journey, Buffy was starting to realise that spending hours in a car wasn't the greatest of ideas. Spike reached into the foot well of the back seat and passed her the bucket.

"You alright love?".

She groaned a little as the nausea became worse.

"Think so", she grumbled.

"Knew this wasn't a good idea".

"You think I would've missed seeing Giles? I haven't seen him in months".

"Don't think niblet here's gonna wait for your social life pet", he joked. Buffy had the bucket firmly in her lap, her arms resting over the rim. She peered down the gap between the bucket and her body and stared directly at her stomach.

"Well she's just gonna have to behave for a while longer".

Spike gave her a funny look.

"She?", he chuckled.

Buffy looked up, only just realising what she'd said.

"I'm guessing"

Spike was surprised at how easily Buffy'd taken on motherhood. She was the last person he'd expected to be so calm and excited about it considering her lifestyle. Not ever having the normal life she'd dreamed of.

"I'm gonna feel awful keeping this from Will and Xander".

Spike shrugged.

"Maybe we don't have to".

"Xander doesn't even know we're together yet! How do you think he's gonna react when he finds out that I'm pregnant?".

"No offence to Harris but he's just gonna have to suck it up and deal with it. You're not a 16 year old high schooler anymore. Actually now I think about it, I've never liked the wanker so I take back the no offence part".

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes at him.

"You're gonna have to try and be a little nicer when he becomes a Godfather in a few months".

Spike wasn't surprised at hearing this but it still shocked him a little. Buffy caught onto his expression.

"Oh come on. He's my best friend or didn't you notice? Was he just a random guy following me around for 8 years, laying down his life for me every day?"

"Okay love, can sense the sarcasm. Just promise me something?", he retaliated.

She moved the bucket out of the way and shifted in her seat, turning to face him. Her eyes shone in the sunlight, bringing out the brilliant green that lay dormant a lot of the time.

"Angel's not gonna be any sort of godparent is he?".

Buffy playfully slapped him on the arm a couple of times. She couldn't help but laugh over the next 30 seconds whenever she thought about it hard enough.

"I think he'd run for the hills as soon as we told him", she replied after managing to contain herself.

Buffy's smile faded as she considered her own comment. She thought back to the things that he'd kept from her before and remembered how angry and betrayed she felt. Especially when he came to Sunnydale and spied on her. She wondered if maybe after everything they'd been through, he deserved to know about something as big as this. But on second thoughts, maybe it was none of his business. Maybe he wouldn't even want to know. Spike was the last person she should talk to about this because he was obviously going to be totally biased and not want Angel anywhere near their baby.

"What you thinking about love?", he questioned as he noticed Buffy's thoughtful expression. She always lowered her eyebrows and squinted slightly when in deep thought. Buffy decided to bring up something different and forget Angel for now.

"We've been travelling for weeks now and we're still no closer to deciding where we want to go".

Spike didn't understand and gave her a confused look.

"I mean permanently. Xander's said we can stay with him for as long we need which is good".

Spike silently gasped and his hands tightened around the steering wheel.

"But on second thoughts, you know Xander. Do we really want him smothering us and the baby? Especially during the first few months when we need space".

Spike relaxed a little and the tension disappeared from his hands and shoulders.

"We've still got a few months haven't we?", he reminded her.

"Yeah but we've got no savings, not even a plan!"

Spike reached out and placed a soothing hand on her shoulder.

"You're worryin' yourself over nothin' Buffy. Not a good idea, 'specially now. We'll figure somethin' out. Always do. If that means borrowin' a few quid then so be it".

"What if we cant?", she continued, panic clearly forming in her voice.

"We have to. Not just us now"...

* * *

They were more familiar with the roads of Greece now, so the trip to the villa was quite a few hours shorter. The drive up the road couldn't have gone slower. She couldn't slow her heart rate no matter how hard she tried. An unconscious part of her mind was convinced that Xander and Willow would know what was up as soon as she walked through the door. But how could they? Her eye lids fluttered shut in a last ditch attempt to calm down but even the slow journey down past a few houses wasn't long enough. As the car slowed to a halt, Buffy wrapped her cramped fingers around the door handle, trying to find the courage to leave the safe confines of the car. Spike left the car, strutting round to the pavement towards Buffy. She didn't want Spike seeing how nervous she really was so forced herself to get out immediately. Before she'd even shut the door, Spike was there, his hands on her shoulders. She gently shrugged him off.

"Im fine", she insisted.

"Tryin' to make the most of the last few months when I'm able to walk on my own. Not looking forward to being the size of an elephant".

Spike couldn't help but giggle.

"Exaggerating a bit there don't you think pet?".

Buffy placed her hand on the top of the door frame to steady herself as Spike pulled her into a passionate kiss. One hand rested on the small of her back, the other tracing lines on her cheek. Buffy ran the fingers on her free hand through his waxy locks, her tounge begging for entry into his mouth. He glady complied, pressing her more tightly against him. His cool lips left hers slighty, caressing her cheek. Buffy moaned lightly and leant forward to nuzzle his neck. They held onto each other for as long as they could, realising that this may be the last time they could be this honest about their relationship in the open. The pair gradually drew their lips away, almost gasping for air after the prolonged kiss. Their hands were the last to leave eachother. Spike's fingers slowly brushed each curve of the slayer's back and her's across his perfectly shaped jawline. They didn't move their foreheads from their resting positions against eachother before catching their breath. Spike didn't need to breathe but somehow this woman always made him breathless. They dropped hands, both somehow finding the others without leaving each other's gaze. A gentle squeeze was given from both parties before releasing their link. Buffy finally shut the door but was unaware of where Spike was looking at the second floor balcony. A mesmerised Willow was slouching against the shining glass panels, head resting in her hands. An 'aww' shaped expression had appeared on her lips. Buffy was still oblivious to Willow's presence, not having as good a vision as Spike.

"Hey", he hinted to Buffy and nodded at the spot where Willow was no frantically waving at them. She fought the urge to keep her hands around Spike's neck, knowing full well Xander could be right around the corner. She started to wave back, arms continuing to hold Spike against her. A smile was glued onto her face for Willow as she whispered something to Spike through gritted teeth.

"Guess we shoulda checked who was watching huh?"...

* * *

Willow flew down the stairs and was out the front door in seconds. Buffy prepared herself for one of Willow's super hugs. She reluctantly drew away from the arms of her lover and began to wall towards the witch. She didn't need to walk too far before Willow had throw her arms around her neck. Their embrace didn't last long before Willow gasped and grabbed Buffy by her hands.

"Buffy Buffy Buffy, we've got a surprise for you!", she shreiked. The slayer didn't know how many more surprises she could take at the moment but let her best friend lead the way. Spike was hot on her heels. Willow's grip on her hands didn't loosen as she stumbled up the granite path.

"Woah Will slow down! We've got all -". She stopped. She looked past Willow's huge grin into the living room. She barely noticed the relieved smile on Xander's face that hadn't been there for months. His hand was resting on the back of the couch near someone's head. Spike's couldnt believe his eyes either and took a few steps back. This someone sitting away from them on the couch had shiny locks which were slightly wavy. As they stood up, a pink waistcoat came into view with a white cammy shirt in view below it. A tear dripped down Buffy's cheek as the young woman turned around towards her.

"Buffy", she whimpered.

"Dawn"...


	23. Delirious

**A\N: Time for things to get a bit saucy now in the later part of the chapter ;)**

* * *

Buffy awoke to the sound of Willow chanting encantaions, waving her hand up and down her body in midair. Her eyes were firmly shut and her brow wrinkled in concentration. She tilted her head to the side and brushed her fingers over cotton sheets beneath her. She was in one of the spare rooms of Xander's villa. How did she get here? Where was Dawn? Stretching herself awake, she sat up and lifted herself off of the bed in a panic before Willow had time to realise that she was awake.

"Buffy! You're awake!", she cried. When she noticed Buffy's rush her grin faded.

"Where are you going?".

Buffy swung the door open and stumbled about across the floorboards until she reached the banister of the stairs. She ignored Willow's pleas for her to return to the room and continued down the spiral case. Xander jumped up off of the sofa, hearing a loud clatter of footsteps at the other end of the room.

"Buff. You're okay!"

"Where is she?", Buffy almost interuptted. Xander looked slightly confused.

"Who?", he asked.

"Dawn! She was here!". She was shouting now. Xander held up his arms, making a measly attempt to calm the distressed woman down. Spike flew in the door after hearing raised voices, leaving a faint smell of cigarette smoke in his wake. Buffy'd been out for hours and he'd only left her side for a couple of minutes. Xander was edging towards her now, his arms still outstretched.

"Buffy. Dawn's not here. She's in hospital. Just the same as before you left". Buffy looked alarmed.

"But she was here. We arrived a-and Willow said she had a surprise for me and Dawn was there. Y-you were sitting next to her Xander!". Xander frowned and shook his head slowly.

"Buffy", a husky London accent interrupted. Buffy spun on the spot to face Spike.

"You fainted before you even made it inside love". The slayer's head hurt from everything that she was being told.

"No! You're not listening! She was here! It was as real as this is now". Xander had stopped moving towards her as Spike took over.

"You were dreamin' pet". As facts started to fit together like puzzle pieces in her mind, she dropped to her knees, overcome with greif that the relief she had felt for the first time in weeks had cruelly been snatched away from her. She was in too much shock to cry. All she could do was sit there and stare like a zombie at the floor. Spike didn't care that Xander was watching and began to run to her. Willow, who'd appeared at the bottom of the stairs in the last few seconds, knew he wasn't thinking clearly, naturally wanting to comfort her, so instead made it to Buffy before he could. He'd thank her later. She pulled Buffy's limp body into her arms, rocking her back and forth and stroking her hair. She threw Spike a subtle glance and he reluctantly backed away. The wicca murmured a few words into Buffy's ear that neither Xander or Spike could understand, and the slayer drifted off into a peaceful, magically induced sleep.

When Buffy woke again within an hour, she a lot calmer. Probably something to do with Willow. Willow was again chanting some magical language and her hands were shaking slightly over Buffy.

"What are you doing?", Buffy questioned as Willow jumped at Buffy's suddenly concious state. She didn't say anything.

"Will?".

Willow sighed.

"Buffy...", she began.

"You've been fainting, having vivid dreams and properly freaking out over them! Xander's out so I decided that even though you asked me not to, I had to at least try and find out what was wrong with you. This isn't Buffyish".

"Will, when I said no I meant no! I know you want to help but really, I'm fine". She clambered off of the bed and walked coldly past her best friend. "Who are you trying to kid Buffy? I somehow don't think its me". Buffy stopped in her tracks.

"Honestly? Its just food poisoning. I was unlucky enough to get it twice in 2 weeks. There. Now will you stop worrying?". She tried to laugh it off but Willow wasn't convinced. Spike had obviously heard the stir and was now waiting for her at the bottom of the stair case. She took a mini leap off of the second to last step and landed in his arms. He caught her around the waist and held her a few centimetres off of the ground. Before long, her bare feet were firmly planted on the cool tiled floor again.

"Gave us a bit of scare there earlier love".

"Yeah. Sorry". A short but loving kiss was soon planted on her lips.

"Can we go for a drive please? Honestly I'm fine now. I just need some air", she pleaded.

"Gettin' late and don't think I want you away from home at the moment". He glanced at her belly, wary that Willow may be eavesdropping.

"Maybe tomorrow kitten". Buffy nodded, knowing she wasn't going to win this one.

"Come to bed then", she beckoned. He followed her lead as she tugged at his sleeve. The pitter patter of the shower could be heard as soon as they reached the top floor.

"At least we don't have to ask Will to leave now. By the way, you recorded some snoring noises on a tape for your room yet?", she teased.

"Don't snore love. You should know".

"Xander doesnt know though does he? Sounds convincing too".

"Don't need to go over the top though", he reminded her as he gave her a gentle push into the bedroom. As soon as the door was shut, Spike was behind Buffy, caressing the soft but tender skin on her arms. She shivered in pleasure as he trailed his fingers up and down from her wrist to elbow a few times. Eventually, his icy finger tips travelled fully upwards towards the straps of her shirt. He pulled down the right strap of her top and bra together and brushed his warm lips across her shoulder blade. She gently moaned at the loss of his touch as she forced herself to turn to face him. She shed his duster in a matter of milliseconds and traced his chest with her warm digits. They slid down to the hem of his v-neck and she tugged it off over his head. Surprisingly, their lips hadn't met in the last serveral minutes. Both of them were desperate to change this. Spike groaned hungrily into her mouth but restrained himself for a few seconds, wanting to clear something up with Buffy first.

"We're taking this easy right?", he panted.

"Can't be as rough with the little 'un around". He unwrapped his hand from her golden curls and let it run wild over her stomach.

"Yeah", she whispered into his ear. Her warm breath trickled down from the lobe of his ear to his collarbone.

A series of shocks flew down her body as his finger tips reached the waistband of her jeans but they didn't linger there for long. He focused his efforts on removing the silky material that covered her upper body. The fabric rippled as his fingers tried to grip it. He struggled to take control of the slippery silk but eventually drew it off over her head, forcing her arms upwards. Keeping them in the straight position, she lowered them at a horizontal angle so that they wrapped around his neck, pressing him to her. They were soon kissing again as Spike's hands creepily snuck round to unclasp her bra. Buffy quickly unwound her arms from the vampire's neck to shrug off the lingerie. Their lips only parted when they had to which they made sure wasn't very often. Spike began to back the slayer towards the bed, tripping every so often on an item of discarded clothing. Buffy shuffled onto the bed backwards, not straying her shining eyes from his. Her head flung backwards in pleasure as Spike lowered his to press kisses on her abdomen. She'd missed being so intimate with him. She never remebered feeling so safe, so loved than when he was ninth room with her. He'd given up everything he knew fpr her over the past few years and she couldnt bring herself to look past his grim history. Even when they were standing there in the Hellmouth, their hands ablaze, he sacrificed the one thing that he had wanted for so long and finally had. Her. She knew she loved him then as he uttered those 3 selfless words.

"No you don't".

She never stopped even months after she thought he was dead. Seeing him again filled her with anger and betrayal but more so relief and love. The way he'd never strayed from her side these past few weeks made her realise that she loved this man with everything she had. Man. She wasn't used to calling him this yet but she knew now it was true. Buffy gently gripped his forearms and tugged with minimal effort, hinting for him to raise his head to her level. Spike moved upwards away from the goosebump covered flesh of her tummy, deciding that tonight she was in command. He couldn't resist planting a kiss or two on her sternum as he made his way back to her lips. His arm slunk around the top of her head, thumb stroking her temple. Her messy hair was sprawled across the pillow like solar flares from a golden sun.

"So bloody gorgeous", he thought. Spike lightly straddled her, being wary of crushing her too much.

"I love you", she whimpered. Spike widened his eyes almost as much as Buffy did. She didnt plan on saying it out loud right now. It just sort of slipped. This was the first time she'd told him since the Hellmouth when he wasn't even sure if she meant it. It was the only thing he had wanted to hear her say and mean in the world. He believed her now.

"I love you too". The spur of the moment panic faded from the slayer's system and she breathed a sigh of relief. Spike pretended to interpret this in a different way

"What? You thought I didn't anymore?". Buffy gasped and clasped his face in her hands.

"No! Of course not I j-just didn't know how you'd react since it's bee-".

"God slayer I'm windin' you up", he chuckled.

"Well don't! Just shut up and kiss me".

"Well there's another thing I can't ever stop doing". He started at her jawline, teasing her as he lingered near her impatient lips.

"Amongst..other..things", he mumbled in between caresses. Buffy yelped as his fingers began brushing her ribs in a scurried movement.

"Stop!", she squealed in her quietest voice.

"Do you want Xander to hear us when he gets back?", she giggled.

"Better get to it now then"...


	24. Confession

**A\N: I'm not someone who begsd for reviews as you've probably gathered but it would be nice for one every once in a while if that's okay. I'd like to know if you're enjoying the story and what you think is a bit off if anything. Again, I really appreciate the continuing readership. Thank you! **

A particularly loud squark from a bird outside jolted Buffy awake the next morning. She was curled up behind a completely out of it Spike. He could sleep through anything if he was tired enough. Considering the early time of 5pm that they had turned in for the night the evening before and the stuffiness of the room now, she was surprised that he wasn't awake earlier. She ran her fingers up and down his naked form for a while, appreciating that she could finally just sit and watch him at his most peaceful. She nuzzled into the back of this neck, taking in his sweet and comforting scent. There was a hint of tobacco, not too much that it was unpleasant though. He wore an aftershave, that smelt SO good. She once spent hours trying to track it down but couldn't find anything close. A vague whiff of herself was on him which she found comforting. She thought the comforting feeling a bit odd but maybe it was because it proved that he really was there with her. Buffy wriggled out from under the covers and daintly stepped around the sea of clothing on the floor. She grabbed a dressing gown and slipped it on before chucking her holdall over her shoulder to pick out an outfit in the bathroom. She didn't want the zips waking Spike up. A strong smell of burning bacon filled her nostrils as she exited the odourless room. She felt sickness rising in her stomach and tried to push it back down but it was no use. In a matter of milliseconds she was running as fast as she could for the bathroom. She'd only just reached the toilet in time before she was violently heaving. So smells set off morning sickness too? Brilliant. Willow had heard the thumping of footsteps from above.

"Everything OK?", she called from halfway up the stairs.

"Fine", she tried to shout with a horse throat.

"Okay. Breakfast's up if you want it". Buffy couldn't think of anything more revolting right now but she decided that she had to eat but not just to keep suspicions at a minimum. She knew no matter how much she felt like not eating, her baby needed it.

* * *

After a much needed shower, Buffy was glad to find Spike still sleeping at 10am. She headed downstairs to find Willow and Xander sitting at a smallish round table with enough breakfast to feed 2 families. The sight of it all made her want to heave again but she took a deep breath and skulked over to the table.

"Morning", she mumbled, her throat still pretty dry.

"Hey. You okay?", Xander asked with a mouthful of food, pointing to his own throat to signify hers.

"Yeah yeah. Just woke up with it".

"Take your pick of food! I think I went a bit overboard with the shopping", Willow cut in. Buffy attempted a smile and reluctantly reached over for a piece of toast. It was the least filling, flavourful and sickly thing there. She slumped into a chair and nibbled on the corner.

"Spike not back yet?", Xander chirped.

"Huh?". Buffy was confused.

"Well I got back pretty early last night and Willow told me that you'd gone to bed. I assumed he was out because he wasn't around all of last night". Buffy froze and gave Willow a momentary 'help me' look but the witch's face was already tilited downwards into her cereal bowl in embarrasment.

"He went to bed at the same time as me. Travelling all day does wear your out!", she yelled a little too overconfidently.

"Oh that explains it", he tried to explain as he stuffed more pancakes into his mouth. Even Buffy recognised that she was doing an awful job of lying and Xander was seemingly falling for it. She hated this. Lying to him. But she didn't know how he'd react if he found out. Had he gotten over his hatred of him? Or had he finally accepted that Spike was different now? She really couldn't tell.

"Well, I've got something I need to do. I'll be back soon". Leaving her barely touched toast, she ran to the rug to grab her shoes where they must've been placed after her fainting episode yesterday. Willow suddenly dropped her spoon and rushed after her, almost dragging the cloth of the table. Buffy tried to reach the door before she was caught but Willow was too quick. They were out of earshot of Xander now.

"Uh-uh. You can't just run off without telling us where you're going?", she squeaked. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Willow seriously! This is getting ridiculous! I don't need a babysitter!".

"I wasn't talking about me even though I do care. What am I gonna tell Spike if you don't get back before he wakes up? Ooh! I can put a sleeping spell o -". Buffy waved a finger at Willow, absolutely incensed.

"Nu-uh! Absolutely no mojo on my boyfriend. Got it?".

"Well what do I tell him then?". Buffy thought for a moment.

"Tell him it's for her. He'll know what you mean". Before Willow could even blink in confusion, Buffy was out of the door.

"Her? Who's her?", she yelled out of the open door but Buffy was already in the car...

* * *

Within a few minutes, Buffy had arrived at the hospital. A sense of Déjà vu washed over her as she stepped out of the car and into the brilliant sunshine. It had only been a few weeks since she was first here at the entrance, about to visit her bed ridden sister. She remembered the confusion and disbelief as clear as day. It still felt a little unreal now. Buffy couldn't sway the guilt of leaving Dawn on her own without anyone around but knew deep down that the stubborn 18 year old wouldn't want her and the other spending their live waiting, praying. She had a few minutes before she needed to be anywhere so decided to pay Dawnie a visit. She signed in at the main desk before following the dim, depressing corridor down to Dawn's room. The clip-clop of her shoes on the slippery floor filled her ears as she found herself ever closer to the room. She passed the familiar plush chair where she and Spike had argued about ther idea of using magic to save Dawn amongst other things, she passed the raised patch of wall where he'd pleaded with her to go home and rest as she leant against it. Finally she came to the room but stopped. Her hand hovered over the door knob for a while but she gave herself a mental pep talk and entered. There she was. In the same position she had been last time she saw her. The bruises had gone and the cuts were almost completely healed over but her skin and lips were still as pale as ever. Flowers and balloons surrounded her bedside and she even had some framed photos on the tables around her. She recognised a couple from Sunnydale. She didn't know how they'd been saved. Maybe Willow and Xander had brought some with them just in case. She spotted a recent one of Xander and Dawn and wandered over to pick it up. They were stood in the middle of a field messing around. Dawn's eyes were screwed tightly shut and her mouth stretched into a huge laughing grin. Xander was stood at her side, his arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. His lips were pouted, hovering millimetres from her cheek. Buffy's stomach churned with guilt as she looked at how happy they were. Dawn had never truly been the same since Tara and Anya's death had destroyed Xander but here they finally looked like their old selves again. Now that the weight of the world wasn't just on her shoulders anymore, she thought she could protect her loved ones. She couldn't have been more wrong. There was always gonna be someone(or something) out there that she'd pissed off no matter where she turned. It just happened to be Illyria right now. If she was ever gonna be able to protect Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, the baby...even Spike, they were gonna have to get away soon. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere no one expected them to go. She slid into the chair beside the bed, linking her hands together and crushing them tightly. Buffy struggled to look her little sister in the eye even though they hadn't opened in weeks.

"Hey Dawn", she whimpered as she tried not to let her emotions get the better of her. Hanging her head slightly she bit her lip, hoping that the pain would distract her from what she was feeling.

"Sorry I've not been around. Things haven't exactly gone as well as we wanted. Illyria' still out there". Of course there was no reply. Only the beeping of the life support machine could be heard.

"I'm not gonna let her hurt you or Willow or Xander again", she promised as she combed her fingers through her sister's dulled brown locks. She leant over and kissed the girl's forehead, not being able to stop the floods of tears now.

"I'll see you soon yeah?", she sniffed. She rushed to leave but stopped in her tracks. She knew she'd missed something. A pretty big something. Her hand brushed protectively over her stomach. Dawn couldn't really hear her could she? So why did she feel so compelled to stay and tell her that she was going to be an Aunty? Was it out of guilt? Loyalty? Or just because it was driving her insane not telling anyone? Either way, she found herself approaching the chair again. She wiped away the excess streaks on her face and removed strands of hair from her sticky face.

"Listen..erm", she started.

"I know you'd be the most excited about this so..here goes". She wrapped her hand around the coolish flesh of Dawn's wrist.

"I'm pregnant". She felt the tightness in her chest completely disappear as the last syllable left her mouth.

"It's complicated how. Couldn't have happened at a worst time right? It feels wrong to celebrate at a time like this. You should be here driving us crazy with your adorable little plans, telling us not to panic or be scared". A fresh wave of water built up behind her eyes.

"The first thing I thought about when I found out was..Dawnie'd know what to do. If there was one person who I'd rely on to guide me, it'd be my baby sis". There was a long silence as Buffy tried to clear her suddenly blocked nose.

"So you wake up soon yeah?". She did her best to smile and blink away the tears blurring her eyes.

"I love you". She flew out of the chair, causing an ear shattering shriek and hurried out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind her. She remained still in the hallway, reviewing in her mind all she'd said. She hadn't been their 10 seconds before she heard her name called. Her whipped round towards she shadowed area of the corridor. It was dark but not so black that she couldn't make out who it was.

"Giles?", she snuffled. The watcher emerged from the shadows, trying his best to smile but not look too happy at the same time considering the circumstances. Without thinking, she ran at the British man throwing her arms around his neck. Giles returned her hug, also welling up at the sight of her despair.

* * *

Buffy held a cup of water in her hands, sipping lightly as Giles placed a comforting arm around her back. They'd both calmed down now and were sitting in the entrance lounge of the hospital.

"When I arrived at Xander's, Willow told me that you'd gone out so I assumed you might come here". Buffy nodded, not looking away from the spot on the floor that she'd been staring at for minutes.

"I took your advice", she mumbled. Giles looked puzzled.

"Advice?".

"I'm making an appointment with the British doctor who works here. You know that friend of yours?". She was looking directly at him now.

"Oh I see", he recalled.

Giles removed his glasses and took out a small cloth to the clean them. She couldn't believed he still did that.

"We've only just got here and don't want to travel back to America or England for an exam".

"No, no I understand", he stuttered.

"Tell me if it's none of my business Buffy but don't you want to settle down now? You're not going to want to travel in the later stages of your pregnancy".

"I want to go somewhere away from everything where no one knows where I am. I think it'd be best". Giles nodded in agreement.

"We've got a hell of a lot to do in a few months".

"Didn't you have a plan before?".

"I thought that we'd just keep travelling. Neither of us are very good at staying in one place so it made sense. But not now. Wouldn't be fair on her". Giles lifted his head up a little.

"It's a girl?", he asked.

"We're guessing". Giles pulled Buffy in closer to hug her again.

"I really am happy for you Buffy".

"Thank you". A ring from the reception telephone brought Buffy out of her little bubble of baby plans.

"We better get this appointment made and go home. Spike won't have slept in this late". Giles followed Buffy to his feet and followed behind her as she nervously made her way to the front desk...

* * *

Giles had offered to drive, giving Buffy some much needed thinking time. He'd given her a lot of food for thought. She'd barely had time to process everything that had been said let alone act on it before the car pulled up to the kerb. She could see a shadowed covered Spike already throwing his ciggy to the ground as he noticed Buffy's presence. She'd noticed his number of smokes had reduced rapidly so respected the fact that he needed to fulfill his craving every now and then. She threw a smile his way before climbing out of the stuffy car and wandering up the path.

"Alright watcher?", he yelled from the shaded area of the patio. Giles attempted a smile but it only made the situation between them even more awkward. Buffy was the closest thing he had to a daughter so of course he had "the new boyfriend" insecurities, especially now they were bringing a child into the world. Spike had a lot to prove in his eyes. Reaching the front door, Buffy poked her head round to see if the coast was clear before giving Spike a quick peck.

"Shoulda woken me y'know", he whispered.

"Didn't need to. Only went to see Dawn. Besides, you looked too damn cute". Spike gave her a light shove.

"Watch it slayer".

"So when Willow said 'it was for her', ya meant Dawn?". Buffy's cheeks went red.

"Not exactly. Giles knows this...obstetrician that works at the hospital. Highly recommended apparently and is originally British which is a bonus". Spike, having no knowledge of the modern world of pregnancy, stared blankly at her. She tried to put her point across.

"Baby doctor? Anyway, I've got my first check up in a few weeks. Just basic stuff. Medical history, any problems I've experienced".

"Oh. Right".

"You okay?". Spike tilted his head upwards and let out a deep sigh before turning back to Buffy.

"Yeah. It's just..do we know where we're gonna be in a few weeks? We've talked 'bout travellin' and such". She tucked her hands inside the warm leather of his coat.

"I know but I was thinking about staying here for a while. At least until the check up. Xander needs all the support he can get and I don't wanna let him down".

"That's all very well and moral love but Harris has got Red for that and you need to be puttin' yourself first for once. Don't want ya' stressin' out". Buffy bit her lip, lowering her eyes to his chest.

"6 weeks?", she bargained through gritted teeth after meeting his gaze again.

"Just after the scan?". Spike rolled his eyes.

"Well if it's already booked, don't have much of a choice do I?".

"Guess not". She gave him a cheeky grin.

"See you found her then?", chirped a familiar voice. Spike and Buffy jumped apart, noticing Willow approaching Giles, Xander not far behind her.

"Just went to see Dawn", Buffy interjected. There was at least a metre between her and Spike now so no suspicious glances from Xander were being thrown around. Willow seemed to ignore her and focus on Giles.

"Come on, Giles! Gotta catch up on all the gossip in England?". The witch grabbed him by the arm and began to pull the overwhelmed Englishman inside.

"Well I think we've seen the last of Willow for a few hours", Xander sighed.

"I'm gonna go visit Dawn". Buffy stepped forward from the shadows.

"I can come with you if you want".

"Nah, it's okay. Don't know how long I'm gonna be. I'll see y'all later". Without even a jacket, Xander sprinted towards his car and was out of sight in seconds.

"Not that I care, but doesn't seem like the Whelp's coping. Always out the house". Buffy didn't reply, she just kept staring at the spot in the distance that her best friend once was.

"See why I need to stay?", she murmured blankly, eyes still not straying like a predator on it's prey.

"I know how he feels but I can't help him. And that kills me". Buffy didn't refuse the comfort as Spike pulled her into his chest, securing her with his arms around her back. She tucked her head under his chin, relaxing into the sense of security in his hold.

"Probably feels the niblet's all he's got left. Doesn't know where to turn". Buffy turned her head from it's sideways angle so that she was now facing the v gap in Spike's T-shirt, nose touching his skin lightly. Her fists were clenched tightly, resting on his abdomen and her eyes were sealed shut. She couldn't help the joy and excitement of having a baby with the man she loved be outweighed by the guilt of Sander's trauma. She knew he was a grown man and would learn to accept the outcome whatever happened but she couldn't help but feel obliged to help carry his pain and loneliness for him. The worst part was that she knew the life growing inside of her didn't need or deserve this but she wanted to get involved anyway.

"6 weeks. I promise", she swore.

"Then it'll be just us"...


	25. Hard Goodbyes

**AN: So we're jumping ahead slightly to 6 weeks in the future now. I felt that nothing new would've happened if I'd carried on telling the story from the last chapter. I didn't want to go over the same things and not move on with the story?**

**Also, updates may be slower because I can't spend long periods of time writing. Blame the more frequent and increasingly painful migraines! But I promise, I'm NOT stopping writing for you anytime soon! **

* * *

Buffy hadn't left the bedroom in over 4 days. She was overcome with exhaustion, nausea, sickness and worst of all, her hormones were all over the place. She couldn't even eat without the food being tasteless. She hadnt been right for weeks but a few days ago, things had really started to kick off. She was barely convincing Willow and Xander that it was a seriously bad case of flu and Spike and Giles were running out of excuses.

"Tomorrow. After the scan. We'll go", croaked Buffy. She was snuggled up in Spike's arms, clinging onto a hot water bottle for dear life.

Although she couldn't see his face, Spike gave her a shocked look.

"Not if you're not better love".

"No. I want to. I want to be able to walk around, not having to hide but at the same time I still don't want anyone else to know. Not yet". Spike hesitantly tucked the back of his index finger under her chin to tilt her head up, originally reluctant to move her from the position that she seemed to have finally found comfort in. The slayer tried to hide her pasty face from Spike but the look in his eyes showed that he didn't notice it.

"Know I was a bit pushy 'bout gettin' our own place but don't feel like we have to yet. Don't want you being under any stress we can avoid".

"I think I'll be under less stress once we're outta here. Let's just go". Spike laid a light kiss on the tip of her nose, still trying not to move her. Buffy gasped a little as sudden wave of nausea washed over her. She sat up with a start, gagging and covering her mouth with the back of her hand. Spike was at her side in seconds, holding up a bucket that he'd managed to sneak from the kitchen earlier without anyone noticing and asking questions.

"I'm okay", she snapped, shoving the bucket away.

"Fuck. I can't believe I've got another 7 months of this!".

"Won't be forever pet. Read that the first few months are the worst". Buffy looked at him with sad, exhausted eyes.

"You read up about it?".

"Wanted to know what to expect".

"Softie", she muttered.

She struggled to her feet but eventually emerged from the covers, revealing her slightly larger abdomen. She pulled her shirt down over her already covered stomach, paranoid that someone might see.

"Where are you off to?", Spike questioned as she started to exit the room. Buffy sighed and turned to face her over protective boyfriend as she crossed her arms.

"Bathroom. Wanna come?", she muttered sarcastically.

Spike knew that she wasn't coming out for as while. Probably to escape his constant smothering of her. He was aware of what he was doing, he just couldn't help it. He decided to head downstairs, as he did every so often to avoid suspicion. Giles was sat on the couch looking just as stressed out as Buffy. He realised that he was just as nervous of what Xander would do if he found out, considering his current state. Talking of Xander, he hadn't been around much recently. Always making excuses to be somewhere whenever he could. Buffy'd wanted to track him down and help him out of course. Even before her sudden turn for the worst, she hadn't been 100% and needed to be around at least 2 things. A blanket and a bucket. Willow had been too preoccupied to notice how frequently her best friend, since kindergarten, was missing.

Why? He didn't know but it seemed to be really bugging her. However, her interest in Buffy's well being seemed to have doubled recently.

"How is she?", Willow panted as she ran towards the foot of the stairs to greet Spike.

"Same. Listen Red I uh-".

"Maybe she should go see a doctor. I mean, this has been going on for a while now".

"Maybe. If Buffy wants to. If not, she'll get..". Spike coughed a little.

"...'better' on her own. Anyway, I really need to talk to you an -".

"I've got a couple of spells I could try that might reduce he-".

"Willow!", he yelled. Willow's stance shortened and her eyes couldn't meet his. He'd attracted the attention of even a distant Giles now. Spike suddenly felt a pang of humiliation for losing it with the witch. He had 2 very shocked and stressed out people staring at him now. He'd always been rubbish at explaining things so he wasn't gonna make a meal out of it now. He was just gonna spit it out.

"I know it's short notice but me and Buffy are leaving. Tomorrow". Both Willow and Giles gawped at him, especially Giles.

"Why? She's not well enough yet", Willow whimpered.

"Just need to sort some things out. Nothing 'gainst you or Rupert here". Spike's eyebrows twitched as his gaze hovered over Giles, hinting at the real reason being something he couldn't say out loud.

"When you will be back?". Willow was now huddled on the closest sofa, her knees to her chest and her arms around her shins. Spike sat himself down beside the teary wicca.

"Dunno yet".

"I can't help but feel like it's something we've done because one minute you're here to stay and then the next, you're not. I know it's not been easy recently but w-we can do better! Do more stuff and be more s-supportive". Willow was on the brink of breaking down completely now so Spike put a comforting hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

"Really, it's not you pet". Spike hated lying to Willow. She was one of the kindest, sweetest and most loyal souls he knew and he absolutely no way wanted her blaming this on herself.

"Truth is, somethin's come up that me and Buffy need to deal with on our own for now. Nothin' to worry 'bout though". Willow still sat there, sniffling, reeling from the news that she was going to be apart from her friend again. Sometimes she wished that they could relive some of the Sunnydale days again when they were all together and happy. Most of the time. Giles eventually got to his feet but waited a few seconds before addressing Spike.

"Erm, Spike. Might I have a word outside please?". Spike nodded, patting Willow's back again before stalking out into the outside shadows of the villa again. Once they were clear of a still upset Willow, Giles took off his glasses to polish them.

"Are you sure it's wise to leave the country with Buffy being in the state she is?".

"That's what I told 'er but she's adamant she wants to be gone after the scan tomorrow. Besides, if anything's seriously wrong, the doc will point it out". Giles bobbed his head slowly, avoiding the vampire's stare.

"Then I'd like to help out as much as I can. I'm aware that you and Buffy don't have much money". The watcher didn't need to continue before Spike recognised his hint.

"Can't ask you to do that mate".

"Buffy is like a daughter to me, making this child my grandchild. I want to make sure that they have a stable home as well as you and Buffy. Wherever you're going, I can get the currency". Spike sighed, accepting that he wasn't going to talk Giles out of this.

"I somehow don't think Buffy's gonna take a shine to to this idea". Giles prepared to walk back towards the house.

"I'll talk to Buffy. Don't worry". Spike turned away towards the front of the house and scooped a cigarette packet out of his pocket.

"One more thing Spike". Spike spun back around to face him.

"Of course it'll be easy to convince Willow that you both need your space but..what do I tell Xander after you've gone?". Spike thought long and hard about an answer but the only one he could think of was to come clean to him. He knew Buffy didn't want that so tried to think of a way to tell him the closest thing to the truth.

"Tell 'im...someone needs our help". Spike expected Giles to give him some sort of embarrassed glance but he didn't. There was no smile but Spike recognised a warm glow shining out from his greyish eyes. Something similar to the look Buffy had given him in his crypt when he'd explained why he couldn't tell Glory about Dawn being the key. Maybe Giles was finally seeing how much he was committed to Buffy nd their child.

"Right", he mumbled, breaking the silence after several seconds.

"I'll go and talk to Buffy now". He pointed towards the stairs through the door a few times. Spike could tell the watcher was getting a bit bothered.

"Okay"...

* * *

Buffy peaked through the crack in the bathroom door, peering to see if anyone was around.

"Thank god", she muttered under her breath when she realised she was on her own. She wanted to be at least trying to get some sleep without anyone fussing instead of hiding out in the bathroom. She snuck down the hallway, trying not to disturb the floor beneath her but it was too late. Giles was already half way up the stairs. She sighed in defeat, leaning against the banister waiting for him to notice that she'd actually emerged from hibernation.

"Oh Buffy", he cried as the slayer scared him out of his skin.

"I didn't expect to see you out of bed". Buffy shrugged.

"Need to get up and about sometime right?", she sighed. Giles shot a quick look at her enlarged bump.

"Ah Buffy, there was something I wanted to discuss. About your departure tomorrow". Buffy was secretly relieved that Spike had told them all. She didn't know how many more lies she could keep up. At least she thought Spike had told _everyone._

"Oh right. I know it's sudden Giles", she interrupted before he could get another word in edgeways.

"But I need to get away. It's all gonna become more noticable and I can't keep up the 'nothing's wrong' act forever". The man looked slighted confused.

"Actually I wanted to help you both out. Or should I say all 3 of you".

Buffy's mouth dropped open slightly. Although Giles had been supportive in a majority of her decisions over the years, she thought that this would be a definite exception. She'd always been capable of taking care of herself, physically that is, but now that she had someone else sharing her body, she seemed to be less able to do things, let alone defend herself in a fight. She knew Giles was aware of this and didn't fully trust Spike to do the right thing by her, therefore putting her in danger if she was away from her friends.

"I want to make sure you're safe and secure for the months to come so I'd like to provide you with some money. Whether you believe me or not, this child is important to me because they're a part of you. That makes them family". An already emotionally and hormonally unstable Buffy felt the tears pricking at her eyes again. She'd dreamed of the day for years when her father would be a part of the family that she'd eventually have. Now she could stop dreaming about the useless human she called her biological dad. She was lucky she didn't push Giles down the stairs from the power she threw at him as she enveloped him in a huge hug. She didn't care about the cash he was offering. As long as he wanted to be involved in their lives, that's all that mattered.

"I'll take that as a yes then", he choked as Buffy squeezed him tighter.

"Yes!", she yelled as she jumped back.

"I mean no...to the money. I can't ask you for that. We have enough to manage".

"I don't want you to just manage Buffy. After everything you've been through you deserve to live. Especially now you and Spike have got someone who's going to depend on you for everything. The Watcher's Council left us plenty of money so please put yourself first for once". Lots of people had been telling herself this recently. Giles, Spike, Willow. This wasn't something that came naturally to her. She was always used to saving everyone else, protecting them and letting her needs come secondary but the situation was more complicated now. One of the people she loved and wanted to protect most was directly linked to herself. Doing right by her little girl meant building a stable life for them both.

"H-how much were you thinking?", she hesitantly asked, removing her messy fringe from her face.

"$15,000 and I can get you cheap air fares".

"No Giles!", she yelled in horror.

"If you really feel that bad about it you can pay me back in due course but you don't have to". She couldn't really accept this much could she? She kept thinking about the things that mattered most to her, seeing if they would convince her that this wasn't such an awful idea. What did Spike say to Giles about it? Had Giles even told him yet? God, this was hard.

"You're getting every cent back I promise!". Giles smiled and let out a breath of relief.

"It would've been a bit difficult if you'd said no since I've already transferred it to your account". Buffy gawped at him.

"You shouldn't have!".

"Either way I wasn't letting you go without".

"Thank you. I can't tell you what this means".

"You don't need to thank me Buffy". Buffy widened her eyes in an attempt to wake herself up but it was no use, she was exhausted even after spending days at a time in bed. Most of that time was spent tossing, turning and spilling the contents of her stomach however.

"I'll let you get some rest now".

"Yeah, guess I should", she murmured as she let out a muffled yawn. Giles spun around to return to the first floor but was interrupted.

"Giles!", Buffy called.

"I won't forget this"...

* * *

Spike stood anxiously at the bottom of the stairs as Giles reappeared. Willow was busy in the kitchen making calls.

"Lemme guess, she threw the offer back in your face?", Spike muttered disappointedly as he spotted the watcher. Giles removed his glasses yet again and began to polish them.

"No actually. She accepted. All 15,000". Spike didn't move a muscle.

"Blimey. Now I know her hormones are all over the place". Giles shook his head.

"No I don't think so. I think the correct way to describe her behaviour is, simply being a mother. I think she's adjusting to motherhood slowly but surely". Spike's stare was glued to the floor, eyes watering. He wasn't sure before whether it was just him convincing himself that Buffy was adapting to being a parent but now he knew it was true.

"Yeah", he replied simply, not wanting to show any sign of emotion but Giles wasn't an idiot. The clock caught Spike's eye and he realised how late it was getting. If they were leaving tomorrow, he'd better get packing.

"I'd better start getting stuff together then". Giles nodded, taking this as a hint to end the conversation. Spike swiftly jogged up the stairs being as quiet as he could in case Buffy had fallen asleep. The room was pitch black with only a streak of light entering the room from where he had opened the door a fraction. Sure enough, Buffy had passed out on top of the covers within minutes of Giles leaving her.

"Screw it", he thought. He'd pack in the morning. That'd mean they'd be under some serious pressure tomorrow. The scan at 11, booking tickets for just a few hours later, accomodation. Why didn't he think of all this before? He was just so ready to leave. Suddenly, he had a thought. A thought that if carried out would be a seriously big decision to make on his own. It would make life a hell of a lot easier though. His eyes traveled to the beautiful woman laying before him. He recalled how much she'd taken on in just a few weeks. How much she'd already been through. He was surprised that she didn't completely freak out when first finding out she was pregnant with everything else that was going on but she kept her cool and focused on the positives and all the time he felt that he was just standing by. He could at least do this for her...

* * *

Buffy was so glad that she'd set her alarm earlier the previous day or she swore she would've slept right through her appointment. She had turned on to her stomach in the night and her neck ached from sleeping in an awkward position. The mop of hair over her face blocked out most of the light seeping through the blinds which she was grateful for considering her splitting headache. A folder of paper on the once empty bedside table distracted Buffy from the pulsing in her head. She scooped her hair back and reached for the papers, carefully removing them from the the poly pocket they were in. The first thing she noticed was a booking reciept for plane tickets. 2 one ways to...Tenerife! Before she had time to take the news in, Spike had entered the room. Not being able to find words, she held up the paperwork.

"What? What is this?".

"They're what they look like love". Ignoring the headache and the bump on her stomach that she wasn't used to quite yet, she jumped up still waving the paper in Spike's face.

"What about where we're gonna stay? I assumed that we'd stay with someone we knew who we didn't have to hide from for a while until we had the money. We can't just take off and go anywhere!", she yelled. The fuming woman barely noticed Spike rubbing his hands up and down her arms comfortingly with a stupid grin on his face.

"Stop it! This isn't funny!". Spike leant forward and brushed his lips against her ear. Assuming he was trying to calm her, she attempted to shove him away but in her current state, he was much stronger.

"Might wanna look through the rest of the pile first", he whispered. Buffy stopped shouting but the angry expression on her face didn't fade. She wandered back round to the remaining scattered pages and sifted through them. There were several images of a villa above paragraphs of information. Some of the words she made out were, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1 swimming pool, ocean view.

"No way", escaped her lips. She distantly heard a muffled laugh from the vampire in the background.

"$16000 was all we had max and that can't have been enough", she explained. Spike approached her from behind, trapping her in her current standing position as he held her waist tightly.

"Know a fella who does 'em pretty cheap. Well..when I say fella I mean demon".

"What about income? That's gotta be all our money gone!".

"Haven't sorted that yet but we've still got a couple of grand left. Enough for the next few months. Not working until the niblet's come along".

"I don't know what to say".

"Don't need to say anything pet. Place is everything we need. Spacey, on the coast, somewhere no one expects us to go". She'd cried way too much these past few days and had a feeling that she wasn't gonna stop now.

"I really need to learn to think before I speak because I always end up lookin' like a dope".

"Easy to forgive you under the circumstances baby. So what do ya think?". Buffy turned in his arms so that his forehead was touching hers.

"I think..it's perfect and I'm so lucky to have you. Thank you. I also think that we have a scan to be at in an hour and I look a mess".

"Never", he said gruffly, playing with her curls.

"Dont be too long".

"Never", she mimicked...

* * *

Spike lost count of how many coats Buffy had tried on over her long sleeved white button up shirt and loose fitting jeans. She couldn't decide which one covered her stomach more. Spike honestly thought that all of them did a good enough job but the slayer wasn't convinced.

"This one?", she asked for the 11th time.

"Same as the last one love". Spike was sat in a chair opposite Buffy who couldn't be pulled away from the mirror.

"So awful then?". Spike was exasperated and flung himself off of the uncomfortable stool towards her. Before she could reach for yet another coat, he started to button up the one she was already wearing.

"Trust me when I tell you no one'll notice. Just keep your chin up, don't try too hard to hide and smile. 3 things I know you can do".

"At least someone believes I won't screw up".

"Hey!", he stated sternly.

"So should you". Buffy smiled sweetly before picking up the heavier of the 2 holdalls Spike had packed whilst she was in the shower.

"Oh no you don't", he demande, reaching for the bag. She refused to hand it to him and slung it over her shoulder.

"Thought I couldn't try too hard to hide my condition", she whined in a deliberately annoying voice, her lower lip pushed out a little.

"Yeah but..". Buffy took a step closer to him, putting him under pressure to come up with a good enough reason.

"Ah sod it. Just be careful".

"I'm 2 months pregnant. Not totally dependent yet".

"Close enough". Buffy shoved him roughly as they left the room and he stumbled into the door frame.

"What's that?", she cupped her ear and lent towards him...

* * *

Willow was sat with Xander around the table, Giles standing not far behind them when Spike and Buffy eventually stopped bickering and made their way downstairs. The witch shuffled around uncomfortably when Buffy approached her, trying to get her full attention.

"Please don't be mad at me". Willow wanted more than anything to tell Buffy that it wasn't her she was mad with. It was herself for thinking that she drove Buffy away but she didn't want to cause any more fuss by wallowing in self pity. Acting like she was angry with her best friend made things a lot simpler for all involved.

"I just don't see why you have to leave again. I thought everything was okay again now we were all back together again".

"Everything is okay but you of people should know how things...unexpected pop up in life and we have to respond".

"When will you be back?".

"I really don't know Will". At least a year. Maybe more".

"What's so big that makes you want to make a last minute decision to leave for such a long time?".

"Let's just say something important okay?". Willow knew no amount of digging was going to uncover this pile of treasure.

"Okay". Neither of them wanted to part on bad terms. Especially Buffy, knowing what Willow didn't. The wicca didnt have time to react before Buffy had pulled her up out of her sitting position and into a hug. Willow tried to hold back her upset but Buffy could hear her ragged breaths. She began to stroke her fiery red locks soothingly.

"A few days and you'll be totally used to me not being here. You and Xander managed before". Xander had a blank, emotionless expression spread across his face. Buffy pulled apart from weeping Willow and took a few paces towards Xander.

"I'm sorry Xan. I have to go". He didn't make eye contact with her.

"I know". She placed a hand on his broad shoulder, shaking him a little.

He didn't return any sort of gesture so Buffy wrapped both of her arms around his neck, lining up her mouth with his ear.

"Talk to Willow. She's worried about you. We all are. You don't have to go through this on your own. Things'll look up.", she whispered.

"Dawn's gone. How are things gonna get better?".

Buffy just managed to contain herself and not shove him away. He was so positive a few weeks ago and now he'd given up all hope. Spike noticed the flash of pain across her face and gave Xander a pissed look Buffy felt the anger boil up inside her and wanted desperately to punch him in the face and tell him to lighten the fuck up. Dawn was strong and she wouldn't give up easily. Instead she swallowed the lump of bewilderment in her throat and fumbled her way over to Giles. No words needed to be said after yesterday. Giles simply smiled and gripped Buffy's arm gently. She returned the squeeze but struggled to return the smile after Xander's outburst. She took one last pitiful look at a non regretful Xander before turning back to Spike.

"Let's go". Buffy was irritated that had Spike picked up the bag she was carrying earlier but didn't want to make a scene so she just settled with throwing him a dirty look. Spike trod carefully through the shaded parts of the path down towards the car but halted as he came across quite a large patch of sun between them. Buffy didn't look too sympathetic.

"You're the one who wants to move to sunny Tenerife".

"It'll take me a while but I'll learn to deal with it".

"Spike, we don't have to".

"Too late now pet. Everythin's bought 'n' paid for now. Besides, more concerned about what's best for the sprog". Buffy took the bags from the reluctant vampire and swung them into the trunk before opening the driver's door, hinting for Spike to dive in.

"Been in worse situations I suppose". Spike dived through the beam of light and into the car, followed by an almighty crash of the door behind him. He was smoking slightly but nothing too bad. Buffy moved as fast as she could around to the passenger door before joining Spike in the car. She panted as she sat down, even the slightest bit or running wearing her out.

"You ready?", the sizzling vampire began. Buffy looked down at her increasingly large stomach and then into Spike's gorgeous blue eyes.

"Ready"...

* * *

Please review!


	26. First Look

**A\N: Again, I am basing Buffy's prenatal visit on research and what I've been told. Feel free to correct me if I've gone wrong anywhere.**

* * *

A majority of the appointment was taken up by questions about health, lifestyle, genetics and some basic tests but the moment Buffy and Spike had anticipated soon arrived when the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to determine her due date.

"It shouldn't take long. We just want to be sure of how far along you are". Buffy clambered onto an examination bed and lifted up her shirt up slightly so that it ended at the bottom of her ribcage. She barely noticed the doctor clicking all sorts of buttons on the Ultrasound machine when she saw what was underneath her shirt. It was the first time she'd taken a look at her exposed belly from a horizontal angle. God she looked huge. She couldn't believe that she was only going to get bigger. Her thoughts were interuppted by a splash of freezing jelly on her stomach. She arched her back slightly and goosebumps crept across her chest and all the way up her arms.

"I should've warned you that it's a bit cold", the woman chirped.

"It's fine". Buffy managed a friendly smile despite the shock still flowing through her. Spike was sat at the chair beside the bench, his hands rustling against the layer of paper rolled acrosss it. He soon found his hands separated as Buffy wormed one of hers in between them.

"Hey, you're more nervous than I am. You know that's not allowed right?". "Didn't know there were rules pet". He brought his hands back together again but Buffy refused to move hers. She tried not to tense her stomach as the doctor pressed the Ultrasound probe against it, smearing the liquid across the lower half of her torso. It took a few seconds before an odd gulping noise came from the machine. It sounded vaguely familiar. Something like a sped up heart beat. Similar to Riley's after the Initiative had drugged him. Maybe a little slower. She and Spike soon realised that was exactly what it was when a fuzzy black, white and grey image appeared on the screen. The first thing that attracted their attention was the large black jelly bean shaped blob in the centre. It moved from side to side every so often as the doctor shifted the probe. She was so small. So tiny. Who would've thought that all of this stress was caused by this tiny little thing in front of her. She knew that she'd be happy dealing with it forever if it meant she could hold this little person in her arms. Buffy's own heart was pumping thunderously in her chest so loudly that she could feel it pulsating in her throat. The look on Spike's face, when she craned her neck to face him, sent even more rushes of adrenaline through her body. It was a look she'd never seen on anybody's face, let alone expected to see on his. He was completely mesmerised by the picture before him yet it was obvious that he was utterly terrified. Buffy had always known that there was a possibility of her being a mum one day but when had Spike ever expected to be a dad? Never! Well not in over a hundred years at least. She squeezed his hand again after several seconds had passed but he only just managed to blink. His shoulders dropped slightly and he relaxed his rigid hand but didn't remove it from Buffy's warm palm.

"You okay?", she giggled, tears clearly having an impact on her tone of voice.

"More than okay". Spike only just realised that his voice was faltering too.

"Heartbeat's perfectly normal", the doctor confirmed after several moments had passed.

"I just want to take a few measurements now so we can find out when you're due". The proud parents looked on as she studied the screen carefully, referring to her notes every now and then.

"Well using the LMP you gave me and the measurements and appearance of the foetus, I'd say you are around 8 weeks pregnant so I'd expect to see you're baby arriving in January".

January. Buffy's own birth month. She didn't know what to say next. She had so many questions that no one would probably know the answers to for the next few months.

"Okay", was all she could say in an attempt to keep her mouth from running away with her.

"Now we'd like you to come back in about 4 weeks. It's just routine to make sure everything's as it should be and to run a few more tests. If you need to come back earlier for any reason please don't hesitate to reschedule your visit". Buffy's cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink. She threw Spike a sheepish look, which he returned, before rolling down her shirt.

"Erm, that may be a problem". The middle aged woman looked up from her notes.

"How come?".

"Well we're leaving for Tenerife later today and plan to stay there".

"You never mentioned travelling Miss Summers?".

"Yeah I know, I was going to ask you about it round about nowish but I didn't need to when you sort of indirectly brought it up now". The doctor didn't look amused.

"Is it okay to fly?". Her doctor let out a noticeable sigh and sat back in her chair,

"Medically speaking, you can go without my permission but I would stop and think about how you're feeling Miss Summers. You told me earlier that you've been suffering quite badly from sickness and exhaustion. Of course this can be quite natural at this stage of pregnancy but it can often be a problem when travelling".

"But I could go, if I wanted to?".

"Buffy", Spike whispered under his breath. Buffy ignored him.

"I wouldn't recommend it. Maybe give it a couple of weeks and see how you're feeling".

"No I need to go". Spike shuffled his chair closer to the bench but Buffy pulled away from him fractionally.

"I'll do whatever I need to once we land but it's important that we get there".

"If you're sure you want to go, then I guess I can't stop you. You just need to make sure that you make another appointment for 4 weeks in Tenerife".

"It's not a problem, I promise".

"I think that's everything then. I give you all my best Miss Summers", she glanced to Spike,

"Sir". Buffy knew that Spike wasn't going to let this go easily so quickly shook the doctor's hand before slipping out of the door into the hospital hallway. Spike also shook the doctor's hand before shooting after Buffy but he was too late as he saw her disappear into the toilets.

* * *

Buffy had been in a cubicle for at least 10 minutes now, dwelling on what might happen when she went back out there. She wasn't exactly going to tell Spike how sick she'd just been. It wouldn't help her case. He'd probably guess anyway. He'd always been the one who could read straight through her. The bleep of Buffy's text message tone snapped her out of her deep thoughts. She dug the cell out of her jean pocket, flipping it open. She read the message in irritation.

"Hiding isn't gonna make me leave". Buffy knew it was time to face the music. She wasn't denying that her decision was rash but she needed to get out of the country. After opening the door, Buffy rubbed her face in her hands, trying to clear the potential water works, but oh boy did she wish she hadn't. By the time she noticed the woman standing in front of her, it was too late to run or fight. Not that she could in her condition anyway. Her natural instinct was to yell Spike's name but the woman had her freezing hand around her throat before she could shout out the second syllable. Buffy gagged as she felt her feet leave the floor. She was being picked up and held in midair. She tried to throw a punch but missed, increasing the mysterious woman's grip on her windpipe. Buffy frantically looked around, desperately trying to find a way out of this. Her feet were in range of the main door. God she hoped Spike was still outside. She kicked the door with all her strength several times, creating pretty noisy bangs, before she was dragged away from the source of the alarm she was making. Her attacker had her against the basins, her hand still not leaving Buffy's neck.

"Buffy?!". It was Spike. When no reply was voiced, the vampire charged through into the restroom, taking no more than a few milliseconds to see Buffy being strangled to death and to identify her attacker. Spike didn't hesitate in pulling the woman off of a choking Buffy who slid down the counter and onto the floor, gasping for air. Spike had the psycho by her hair and slammed the front of her head against the wall 3 times before she retaliated and head butted his face with the strongest part of her skull. He flew backwards into the wall, clutching his nose, but ducked as a punch was slung his way. The crack of plaster echoed in the room as a huge, deep hole was made in the wall by her fist. After dragging her hand out, Spike circled the woman. She soon joined in but her movement was much slower. More elegant and relaxed than his.

"You just couldn't leave it alone could you Illyria?". She smiled evilly as he used her name.

"I don't need your permission to hunt my prey vampire". Spike flinched at the word. Prey. It reminded him of when he was young, around about 65, when he and Angel would stop at nothing once finding a helpless young soul that they knew would taste good. It was even better if their meal was a challenge to catch.

"There's more chance of the sun exploding tomorra' than getting your hands on her love. You'll be a pile of blue hair extensions by the time I've finished with you".

"It amuses me that you think you have any sort of a chance. I'm going to enjoy killing you after you watch your weakened slayer and the abomination that grows within her die". That. Was. It. Spike let his game face take over and he lunged for Illyria's throat. He was knocked back again with a side swing of her fist but he wasn't giving up any time soon. He ran towards her again but purposely slipped and skidded the rest of the way along the floor, making the unprepared god lose her footing. Her head landed on the tiled floor with an earth shuddering smack and she lay distracted for a few moments. This gave Spike enough time to start running water into a basin. Once Illyria had found the strength to stand again, which didn't take very long, she looked strangely at the almost full sink of water.

"Your actions are confusing. What do you hope to achieve? The transparent liquid is harmless". Spike wiped away the blood from his lip before shrugging.

"Yeah but it buys me some time". Spike snatched up a handful of Illyria's hair and hauled her towards the now overflowing pool of water. He shoved her whole head into the basin, using all his strength to keep her from resisting. He added another hand to her head as she pushed back slightly. He was standing at an angle where her legs couldn't reach him and her arms weren't all that flexible. She coukyd only wave them about a little. Slowly, after several seconds, her movements began to reduce and eventually stop altogether. Spike held on just in case she was playing him but he soon realised she wasn't waking up any time soon and let her body plummet to the floor. He immediately ran over to Buffy, who hadn't moved from her upright position against the counter, and lifted her to her feet.

"Baby, can you walk? Buffy? Buffy!", he repeated when she she just stared at him in shock.

"I-I think so", she panted.

"Come on then. We need to go. Drowning Illyria will only leave her unconscious for a few hours. She doesn't know where we're going". Spike wrapped an arm around her waist, giving her some support without attracting too much attention. He glanced at her several times as they made their way out of the hospital. His gut instinct was to stop, check if she was okay, check if the baby was okay but he talked himself out of it, knowing that he needed to get them out of there. Now...


	27. All I Ask Sequel

**A\N: I'd like to start off thanking every single one of my readers. This is my first 'big' fix I've ever written and never in a million years did I expect to get this reaction so thank you all so much! Especially to ginar369 who has consistently reviewed and been a very loyal 'adviser' as it were. Have I really written 26 chapters? Hell, it doesn't feel like it. I only feel like I've been writing for a matter of weeks! **

**Of course I will be coming back to finish All I Ask in a sequel. I wouldn't dream of not finishing it but for now, I'm going to take a short break from it and focus on writing a new fan fiction. Still Spuffy of course but set at a different time in the series and Spuffy have a very different relationship to begin with. Keep checking Most Recent for the first chapter that I hope to have up in the next week or so. I don't want to give too much away now but I have a feeling that you'll enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it! **

**Of course I'd like to here your overall round up of the first part of the series so please please please leave a review about everything. What you liked, what surprised you, what you didn't like so much, what I could improve. I'd really appreciate the feedback as I've mentioned in the past. **

**On I can't leave you hanging for ages so here's a little snippet of the sequel. Don't expect a full length chapter..**

* * *

Spike was constantly looking behind him at the traffic when he wasn't driving or frequently checking on Buffy. She was slouched in her seat and staring out of the window, hand resting comfortingly on her belly. It had begun to rain and she traced the paths of the raindrops down the cool glass of the window with her unoccupied hand.

"What are we doing?". Spike was relieved at the sudden break in the harrowing silence.

"What do you mean love?". She couldn't bring herself to look away from the calming view of the darkening sky.

"Running away. Me and you. We were the last 2 people in the world who'd take the easy way out".

"You know why". Buffy suddenly spun around in her seat, elbows propping her up against the back rest.

"But she's just gonna keep coming back! Just like Glory!". Spike felt like he'd been stung after recalling the memory. The worst day of his life. Watching Buffy jump from that tower knowing that if he tried just that little harder, he could've stopped Dawn's blood from being drawn.

"We're never gonna be safe until we find a way to kill her", she continued.

"I'm not risking yours or the niblet's life by going back to face her. If we ever do find a way to kill her, we'll let her come to us".

"She'll be expecting us to stay away! If we seek her out, she won't be expecting us! Besides, it'll take her a while to work out where we're going and if she finds us, we're pretty much screwed for a safe place to stay!", she argued.

"Too much of a risk love. I don't want you in the same bloody country as her"

"I won't be". Spike lowered his eyebrows in confusion at Buffy's mixed messages. Then it dawned on him. He let out an hysterical laugh.

"Oh no! Bollocks to that! There's no way in hell I'm leaving you on your own".

"What other choice do we have? We can get Giles on the case to find her weaknesses and then send you in there with backup or something?".

"I hardly think some baby slayers in training is gonna cut it this time"

"Then who? You just gonna waltz in there on your own?".

"To be honest that doesn't sound like a bad idea sweetness". Buffy's jaw dropped.

"You of all people should know first hand that she's too strong!"

"I managed alright back there didn't I?". There was a long pause between them.

"What happened that day when we found Illyria in Greece? When I woke up outside of the burning building?". Humiliation made an appearance in Spike's bright blue orbs. He didn't reply, keeping his sight firmly on the road ahead of him.

"We've avoided this for long enough. Just tell me". He wrinkled his nose and mouth before rotating his neck a little.

"Plank of wood fell on your head from above, knockin' you out like a baby. Illyria was about to go for you and I had no way of getting' back through the flames so I yelled for her to stop. Fucking poncy thing to do I know but she did stop. She started lookin' around the room, sort of searching for something and then legged it out of the window. She looked...scared. Somehow I don't think her runnin' act had anything to do with me tellin' 'er off".

"You mean, there was something else there? Scaring her off?"...


End file.
